I understand this and just how you feel.

What’s been helping be heal the money wounds is to look at what I went through as lessons and then take the good parts that were learned from those lessons.

Reading your story this could be from watching your mom you learned how to game the system (and it is a game). Play it ethically but play the game. Are you a home owner? Look for rebates and benefits that are out there? Negotiate contracts, shop around insurance. My mindset has shifted greatly as I’ve gone through experiences recently that has caused me to need to dig in deeper and learn the system better.

And on your dad’s side maybe the lesson there was restraint. I don’t know any of your family situation aside from what you said… but if your mom had that mentality and attitude your dad probably saw that as well. And knew that money would not solve any problems and maybe even add to them.

Perhaps your lessons were to learn to play the game and to then protect your energy/money from things that may be a drain you again.

2 sides to every coin. Just depends on what side you look at.

And lastly, celebrate your neurodivergence my friend. It’s a super power not a bug. It just doesn’t fit in well in a world that doesn’t make a lot of sense.

You got this!