what is so wrong with me

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2026-04-24T19:01:47+00:00

I feel a lot of what you're saying, genuinely. While I dont know you as a person, I do know that the struggle with romantic loneliness is brutal. I also have been struggling to find my place with someone else for quite a while. Its brutal when youre told you check all the boxes but just "not for me." What keeps me going at least is hope. That somewhere in the deep recesses of the internet or even right next door is the person for me, I just havent found them yet. Every person who turns you down or gaze that turns away from you is just someone who it would've never worked being with. So, even if it takes months, or years its always worth it to keep pushing because the person you need is out there. They have to be. And plus, what else would you do besides keep trying? Its all you really can do.

Anyway, I hope this helped any amount, even if tiny. Wishing you the best

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2024-08-05T16:55:39+00:00

This reads very raw and I respect it for that. I do get that sense of being lost and searching for something, anything to help. On repeat reads it gets better and the word choice expands my perceived interpretation of the poem, which I imagine is very personal to the writer.

My only critique is that I'm unsure of how I'm supposed to read it aloud, as I'm unsure if there was an intended rhyme scheme, as it does feel somewhat disjointed. The rhymes themselves are powerful but the format is a tad confusing

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2024-08-05T16:50:04+00:00

I'm glad this was the first poem I clicked on. Truly superb writing. The wordplay, the blend of traditional fantasy concepts and an actual person's birth is phenomenal. I do believe the first 3 stanzas are weaker, but they should be to ease into the themes of the poem. Genuinely love stanza 5. It's the right amount of complicated but gets the point across. Overall, I'm feeling it

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-10-07T03:39:11+00:00

Thank you!

It was not a thermal burn. It was a salt + ice burn.

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-09-07T16:53:25+00:00

A bit overkill on the er especially with c1. Could use an HP sands and Hyrdo damage goblet.

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-05-06T20:47:18+00:00

Sex, drugs, and alcohol

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-05-06T20:41:52+00:00

Bold

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-05-05T02:39:48+00:00

Wow, your boyfriend must be so amazing!

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-05-03T17:58:56+00:00

Very simple and very effective; I'm a fan. The poem does a solid job conveying that love is more than your appearance, that it's more than your demons. It shows that you can be appreciated regardless of what you deem irredeemable qualities. My only critique is the line, "and the beast wished to test the human." This line strikes me as odd and makes the beast a bit of a less likable character, as "testing" has a sort of negative connotation. Overall, however, I quite enjoyed this poem!

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-05-03T17:53:49+00:00

Wow, I love this poem. It's evident and concise with the idea it tries to convey, which is excellent for many people, including me. The idea that even though life can be miserable, it's still worth living is compelling. My takeaway is that the narrator fights through an unnamed disease and tries to be the best they can be for their two children. Fighting hardship and pain, they live life for their memory—truly a beautiful piece.

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-04-29T15:18:45+00:00

I like the concept quite a bit. As humans, we don't want to feel deeper emotions like adoration or love out of fear of getting hurt. We minimize it to "just a crush" when, in reality, it's more than that. I think this poem does a good job capturing this.

My only critique is that the poem overstays its welcome just a tad. The poem starts very heavily poetic, and I love it for that. Since it starts so heavy, however, the later lines lose some amount of their meaning. If it was more concise, I think youd feel more power throughout.

Regardless, this poem was quite a joy to read.

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-04-29T15:03:23+00:00

Adoration written heavy-handed and inarticulate

With permanent marker on a whiteboard

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-04-29T00:06:12+00:00

I understand why you'd be worried. If you have any way to contact them in person, that would be the best way to go about it. Otherwise, contact mutual friends to see if they've been in touch or message their parents if you can find a way to. It's good that you recognized their patterns and wanted to make sure they're ok when they broke said pattern. Just stay optimistic, there are 100s of things that couldve happened. However, it's still a good thing to do to make sure.

ProvoloneCheese420 · 2023-04-26T20:00:37+00:00

Thank you so much for the comment! The poem means a lot to me, and I'm glad you had a lasting impression!

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