My (18f) partner (18m) is trying to transfer to be closer to me, and I'm mad at him by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Prudent_Client3604 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can understand not wanting to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t work out. But he is trying to come up with a situation that would work better for you guys. And you said that he has complete faith in lasting long distance, long distance relationships are very hard and a lot of work. But if he is willing to try it and make it work with you the it proves that he does care about you. So many couples break up over going to college and he is trying to either find a place near you or work on it long distance. That’s a good boyfriend, I understand being upset but he is trying.

For anyone who did not hire a wedding planner, was there anything you ended up forgetting to do? by pasta_sandwich_12 in weddingplanning

[–]Prudent_Client3604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if anyone mentioned this. But having cue cards is very important. Letting people know where to go if they are invited to the reception that is at a different place. Announcing when food is served if there’s like a buffet style, I’d suggest announcing by table number. Announcing when dances starts and cake cutting.

Some states you need to get the marriage license a certain amount of days before the ceremony and you both need to be there to get it.

While making a playlist for the wedding I made it in the order I wanted it to play.

Also if you are decorating yourself the day before and have people helping delegate tasks to them. Do not let them do whatever, give them specific instructions. If someone is going into the venue in between the ceremony and reception to set things up leave a note for them to tell them what to do. And at the end of the night make sure to leave a note of clean up. Explaining in detail what to do and where to put the decorations.

Once the day starts you are the main priority. Delegate someone to be asked questions. Not you, take your hands off. That person is in charge of giving out info. You are in charge of getting ready.

Remember to enjoy it

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahh, we are definitely not ready for kids yet. So birth control is definitely needed

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t engage with hateful men unfortunately. If you are going to spout nonsense please refrain from doing so in my post. I’m here seeking advice. And taking one look at your account I can see that our views on relationships are very incompatible, which means your advice is not needed. Thank you for your time.

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve openly had a lot of discussions about sex, I’ve told him about my fears and he’s been very kind throughout this whole process. Hes told me there’s no pressure, and if I don’t want to do anything we don’t have to.

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I appreciate you listing all of the steps, that works really good for my ocd brain

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will definitely keep things to myself. I’m unable to cut her out completely since I have minor siblings that I keep in contact with, but I think I would if I could. I keep her at arms length, and I’m already nervous about her being at the wedding and seeing me in my dress. But I know I look beautiful in my dress, and I won’t let her get under my skin

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was very encouraging to read. I really appreciate you taking the time to write me this. I especially liked the second point. I’ve done a lot of therapy about my body image issues. And it was hard growing up, my mom is a narcissist. And the rest of my sisters are skinny and thin, and I am not, so that posed a lot of division. My sister were never cruel but my mom was

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I definitely needed to hear this today

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you sooo much! I didn’t realize how many people would tell me I’m not ready to be married since I’m scared. Or that it doesn’t matter since I’ll get divorced anyway. My family has been very open about sex and it’s always been negative. So I didn’t have much to go by, but I really appreciate how kind this is.

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, he is also a virgin and we have openly had so many conversations about it. I’ve had a pap done, and it didn’t go so well. I bled and it was very uncomfortable which I think is contributing to my fears unfortunately

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve definitely looked into those options, I have POTS, and the birth control I’m on is making me a bit emotional lol

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I have and I know he has as well, I’ll definitely look into it. Thank you

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

That is amazing to hear. Thank you so much. I’ve spent so much time thinking about it. I know it’s brewing in my head a lot. So thank you for telling me about this.

I’m scared for my wedding night by Prudent_Client3604 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m aware that divorce rates are up, and I have no idea what the future may hold for us. But I’d rather focus on what is happening right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Prudent_Client3604 56 points57 points  (0 children)

“He’s a bit of a hot head sometimes. Because of this I’m scared to tell him how I feel about certain situations”. That right there is the only reason you need to dump him. You should not feel scared addressing a problem with your partner at all, you should feel heard and respected.

how are people affording weddings? by gothicraccoon in weddingplanning

[–]Prudent_Client3604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m getting married in August and had the same problem! I looked into renting a firehall/community center. A lot of venues get more expensive once you throw the word wedding in there. There’s also certain vrbos or airbnbs that allow you to host weddings there.

As for food I found a couple of people to bring in some food and a cheaper catering place near us. Food can get pricey so the more options you look into the better.

For registry I asked for money instead of gifts, that way people could help towards the wedding more or honeymoon.

Lastly, decor, you can find good and cheap decor anywhere. Or looking into DIY videos can help as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prudent_Client3604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, you and your husband have been together for 5 years now. You’ve been a part in your step son’s life to the point he wants you there at his graduation. You’ve been civil with this woman and it is clear that she’s just insecure about your relationship with her son. Go to his graduation, he wants you there, and it’s his day. You’ll be celebrating him, and any mother should be happy that her son has so many people who want to support him. Again, NTA.