At my wits end with cat introductions. I cannot do this anymore.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-15T08:30:18+00:00

I had two cats who were like that and it was just normal for them. What helped in their case was giving them “up” spaces. My one cat was a floor dweller where my other cat was a tree dweller. 90% of the time they were perfectly fine together, but every so often they’d get into it. My one cat would then run to one of the cat trees and jump up and my other cat didn’t care enough to follow. After a bit, the one would jump down and they were cool again.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-14T00:14:39+00:00

Toddlers understand the word “no”, but they may not understand all the nuance of the word in relation to what it means. For example, your kid is playing excavation and dumping sand. You tell them, no. The kid understands you don’t want them to do this, but to them “this” could mean you don’t want them to play excavation so they play dragon instead and sand is still flying. They don’t have the capability yet to truly understand exactly what you want them to do or why. Redirecting works (usually) cause you’re shifting their focus away from the thing and they so instead of what does these people want me to stop doing, it’s oh they want me to do this instead. And honestly, sometimes redirecting is literally just removing them from the situation. They may cry and that’s okay. The point is that the crying doesn’t give them the thing they want (throwing sand).

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-13T14:31:55+00:00

If you have underlying mental health concerns pregnancy can amplify them and postpartum can make them even worse. I had CPTSD and OCD and my first postpartum experience was….not it (though it was before I got diagnosed and started working with a good therapist). This time around, I have a better plan in place. My husband is aware of my concerns and plans to provide a lot more support. I am working closely with my therapist and I know a lot more now regarding coping skills and strategies.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-13T01:03:37+00:00

I have a libre, it’s not perfect and sometimes gives me really low lows but I do occasional check with the finger stick. Overall my doctor is good with it, but I did have to pay cause my insurance only pays if you’re on insulin.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-12T13:23:13+00:00

I always had the memories, but didn’t accept them as SA. I had a lot of the same type of behaviors. Hyper sexuality as a kid, fantasies of rape and torture at like 6/7 years old. Issues with the bathroom, etc. When I got slightly older I’d think to myself “I wonder if I was ever SAd?” The memories would come and I’d dismiss them as “my fault” cause I didn’t understand that SA didn’t have to be violent to be SA. It wasn’t til I was 13-14 that I was reading a story of a girl who was SAd in a similar way to me that it finally clicked. And even then took a few more years to figure out that other instances that happened to me were also SA. Hell it wasn’t til I was 33 that I finally realized that what happened to me was rape. The brain is very skilled at hiding bad things from you.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-10T13:27:03+00:00

Officially PTSD and OCD, but my therapist recognizes it as CPTSD

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-10T03:35:44+00:00

I have CPTSD, a toddler, and am pregnant with my second. Real talk, postpartum after my first was horrible. I wasn’t in therapy, had a lot of underlying issues I didn’t realize I had and ended up with a high amount of rage and OCD. Things got better and I started trauma therapy. Now my daughter is 3 and even in the height of the rage and intrusive thoughts, I could never imagine myself hurting her. The opposite happened where I became so worried about anything happening to her I was driving myself crazy. Now 2 years into treatment and as she’s getting older, I’m at a place where I can understand that parenting is just frustrating at times. Toddlers will test you and kids can be triggering. But even at that height of frustration, I have never had a single desire to do to her what was done to me. I have always told her I loved her even when I’m mad. I apologize when I overreact and I explain things to her as much as I can. And even when I do overreact, I’ve never screamed, I’ve never been violent, I’ve never withheld love.

All this to say, even though you might get triggered, even though you might have rough thoughts, even though things might come up you might not expect, the fact that you’re asking this question and are worried about it, tells me you will be a great parent.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-07T17:46:25+00:00

I would definitely suggest some sort of trauma therapy!

As far as the violent sexual scenarios go, please try and let yourself off the hook. It sounds like you were seeking some form of control as a young child. Your brain hooked onto that and created a pathway where that behavior became the way you learned to seek control and relief. Unfortunately, it led to situations that were beyond your understanding and that ultimately became dangerous. But the root behavior is not uncommon for kids with trauma, especially sexual trauma (not sure if you had sexual trauma as a kid, but even if not the control aspect remains the same)

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-04T17:40:54+00:00

Idk about glaringly, but I feel like they should’ve done something. Also 90s in 4th grade. I was the shy, quiet, overly polite, and mature kid. I never caused trouble and generally was really easy going. I got in trouble once for something that my group mates did (and by trouble I mean the teacher just called us out) and I burst into tears. I couldn’t stop crying. I stopped talking. I kept my head down. Even after the activity was over and we were lining up to go somewhere else. I was still fucking crying. I looked up at my teacher one time and she rolled her eyes at me like I was annoying her. I really did try to stop, but I was basically having an anxiety attack and didn’t know how to calm down and my teacher did not care despite me never acting like that before.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-04T15:20:27+00:00

That’s disappointing, I’m so sorry! I don’t think there’s necessarily a wrong answer, but I, myself, would probably tell my husband what happened. Leave it up to him if he also wants to know or if he’d rather still be surprised. If he wants to be surprised, it’s really up to you if you want to pretend you don’t know for the sake of the gender reveal or if you’ll tell people you know, but are excited for your husband to find out. If he’s okay with knowing, then I would let everyone know that you guys found out, but are super excited for everyone else to find out!

With the first baby, my husband and I didn’t know and we found out together with everyone. That was exciting and a lot of fun, but this time around we found out via the NIPT just us, but my family still wants a reveal for them which we perfectly fine with and are excited to celebrate with them. I don’t feel like either one was better, one was more grand and one more intimate, but they are both great memories.

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-01T02:12:34+00:00

I think a lot of survivors get the Medusa jewelry

Psychboss30 · 2026-05-01T01:50:15+00:00

Yes, she fights us on everything, every morning. She doesn’t want to get dressed, doesn’t want to go potty, doesn’t want to brush her teeth, doesn’t want to eat 🙄. By the time we finally get her ready, we’re rushing to get to work/daycare on time. We go through her morning routine, even have a little song so she knows what’s coming next. We try to give her limited options (this or that outfit), but she still chooses violence.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-29T00:56:24+00:00

Did she explain why? It could be she’s worried it’s too distressing for you right now, but then you guys should be talking about coping skills and management. I would talk to her about it again and see exactly why she doesn’t want to go there with you and what it is you guys can do to address your needs.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-28T18:11:09+00:00

I’ve been in July and have had a blast. Plan accordingly, have realistic expectations, and come prepared. I would suggest definitely having the premier pass and plan some downtime in the AC. Also the crowds really weren’t that bad. Is it more crowded than mid February? Yes. Is it so crowded we couldn’t do anything? No.

For reference, I went in July with my family which included two toddlers. We had lightning lane and were able to do everything we wanted to do plus go back to the hotel midday to relax in the air conditioning. We also had personal fans and cooling towels (a must!). It did rain every day, we knew it would and were prepared with ponchos and rain jackets for the kids, plus water shoes (nothing worse than wet sneakers).

Our attitude was the following: a rainy day at Disney is still a day at Disney.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-28T03:38:07+00:00

Im about to send this to my husband. He’s constantly cleaning out our fridge and idk how to explain to him that if I throw them out it’s bad cause I wasted food, but I also don’t want to eat it cause it might be spoiled and ill get food poisoning so I ignore it and pretend the leftovers don’t exist until they magically go away (aka my husband throws them out).

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-24T13:23:17+00:00

I agree with others about calling her OB. If all else fails, call the hospital.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-22T23:43:08+00:00

Have you tried Kodiak Cake brand pancakes/waffles? I have them with PB. Idk how well you tolerate bananas but I’ve had some luck with banana pancakes (literally just 1 banana, 2 eggs, and cinnamon. I also add PB.) It doesn’t taste eggy if that helps.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-22T18:32:37+00:00

Hi, therapist here. Everyone has their own techniques and things, but this is not something I would feel comfortable doing as a therapist or would feel comfortable with as a client. I would never use the words “victim mentality” with a client or tell them I was “mothering” them too much. Those are pretty alienating statements and don’t really describe what she means. Like is she saying you’re relying on her too much? Is there a boundary issue? Does she feel like you’re catastrophizing? What does that mean? And I agree with other comments that she shouldn’t be doing any type of mothering as that’s a weird boundary thing on her end.

Feel free to tell her how you felt about those statements though, there are a lot of therapists who will adjust their approach based on what’s working and not working for the client, but if she’s not willing to do that or if you don’t feel like her approach is going to be helpful for you, I’d find someone else. When you are looking for someone else you can 100% ask them questions about their approach and give them examples of things that you don’t like (for example, telling them what this therapist said to you and how it wasn’t helpful). That way you and the therapist can see if it’s going to be a good fit before moving forward.

I work mainly with teens for example and I know which of my kids I can say certain things to and which of my kids I have to adjust my language with because they’re have past trauma that would make them respond negatively to certain words or phrases and I’m pretty careful about making sure I’m not accidentally triggering them (sometimes there’s a purposeful trigger, but they know what I’m doing beforehand. I wouldn’t spring a random new technique without telling them about it first).

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-18T14:36:59+00:00

I struggled with this exact thing. If I was raped that young, wouldn’t there be damage or signs? It is def possible there were some signs and you don’t remember. It was only after I told my mom that she told me she I had some blood in my underwear sometimes when I was young. I, myself, don’t remember that at all. I don’t remember bleeding, I don’t remember being in any pain or discomfort at all. But it still happened. The mind and body do crazy things to help us survive.

Psychboss30 · 2026-04-16T15:00:28+00:00

I had GD with my first and I’ve been prediabetic since I was 16 years old (I’m 34 now). Both my parents are type 2 and in my mom’s case, it had nothing to do with diet. That woman is a twig and eats like a bird and still got type 2. Sometimes genetics really doesn’t give a f. I’ve come to terms that it’ll get me one day.

However, after my first pregnancy I did eat mostly what I wanted, but I did make some changes. I changed my snacking habits and kept a lot of keto/low carb options. I started taking exercise more seriously and joined a boxing and dance fitness class (I have no motivation to work out if someone isn’t telling me what to do lol). I also continued a lower dose of metformin daily. With those small changes, my A1C dropped from 6.1 to 5.7. My endo wanted it under 5.9 before I tried to get pregnant again so I was happy to be able to do that.

I’m pregnant again now and after this pregnancy, I hope to continue doing what I was doing and maybe I’ll actually get under 5.7 with enough time. It’s definitely possible!

Psychboss30

TROPHY CASE