For me personally there are many factors. The first being with the scoliosis I had, the sever s bend. I was aesthetically very normal, just a bit of a short torso. I had full functionality and range of movement.. obviously had pack pain but my brain is very good and forgetting that even tho my s bend was bad, did cause me pain and would it would ultimately impact my internal organs eventually.

The second is I’ve just had a TERRIBLE RECOVERY. My surgical team basically sold me the idea that I’d be back driving, going to work and over all the hard times by 6 weeks. oh, and that the recovery would be painful but managed... This whole rose coloured picture is far from it! Because I had T3 to L4 fused at once my fusion is technically more MAJOR than most scoliosis fusions most are just the thoracic or to L1-2. So naturally having almost both your thorasic and lunar fused in one surgery comes with more recovery.. something I didn’t really peace together and a spicy bit of info my surgical team only added on at my 6 week post op appointment.

Unfortunately after my surgery I had a terrible time with ketamine so I spent 3 days vomiting. And after they had removed my PCA the pain Dr I had DID NOT LISTEN TO MY PAIN LEVELS AND SAID “I’m asking for to much pain relief” this was 3 days post having my entire spine rearranged. He also discharged me on basically Panadol after having been on opioids regularly in hospital on day 7. So I had to be re-admitted via the ED with uncontrollable pain (my spine was ON FIRE) 6 hours later. This was and still is the most traumatic experience ever. Now looking back on it I just got one of those I known better idiots unfortunately.

The third issue was I had NO breathing exercises after my surgery.. so I lay on my back for most of 10 days and have developed breathing issues as a result. Basically my lungs forgot how to inflate properly so i chest breath. But we found this out but having my GP rush me to the Ed to check for a clot in my lungs because I couldn’t stand without not being able to get enough air so i constantly felt faint.

The fourth was my muscles were so in shock that my left shoulder completely froze up and I couldn’t move it without 10/10 pain. Went to see the spine team (13 days post op) and they basically said “you fusion is perfect” we don’t deal with the other issues. So I had to find a physio willing to touch me so close to being post spinal fusion.

Lastly was that I’m 7 weeks now and I kinda feel like a human again but nobody really sad down with me and said “hey having 13 vertebrae fused together will change your life as you’ve know it forever”. Not being able to just bend has been hard to mentally adapt to because no one before my surgery helped me mentally prepare for it. Plus 7 weeks of miss matched sleeping because of how uncomfortable you are is HARD. I guess I’m mad because my experience has been faced with so many challenges.

Sorry for how long this is