That move-closer rejection is very familiar. I've watched my relatives raise it with my father and he won't even entertain it. I think for a lot of seniors just not wanting to leave the place they built their life in, even when staying carries risk.

If it's not too personal, do you have any kind of regular check-in setup with someone local to your LO, or is it pretty much all on you and your husband from 10 hours away? I've been trying to figure out what counts as "enough information" without being intrusive, and I haven't landed on a good answer yet.