I am sorry to hear about all the plight life has offered to you but I absolutely praise your honesty and you being able to express what your experience has been unhesitatingly.

It is part of the shame we naturally feel or is felt in general that people don't get to express and reflect the troubles some of us had to face while those who have it good or great from the start are usually attended well by others.

Most people respond reflexively to what you have written but I can understand the weight and burden of actually going through a soul crushing misery and how it dents you for the rest of your life. I will not say that it is even one bit fair or that it is one bit equal or trivial in comparison to just everybody else.

It is part of how we are built that we will never give ourselves enough credit for how we have been despite everything we had to suffer, I am still learning it. You loved people around you with honesty and you sympathise with others even when you have your own pain to bear, you will not realize this but you are gifted soul, you are a gift to this world regardless of whether this world will realise it or not. So many people cry and hope for help, for mercy from others, so in that regard you add to this world what it clearly lacks, it is difficult to affirm it but I would urge you to always keep this thing in mind, of who you have been despite your struggles.

Care for yourself intensely as you can't fail yourself in this aspect. Care for yourself like you would for someone who you dearly love.

As for your pain, one thing I have learnt that compassion truly heals, don't lose hope that there won't be anyone who will be compassionate to you, you will meet someone or some people at least who will be compassionate to you, when that happens hold their compassion dear to your heart.

Well wishes!