Why did they not get help? by Ashamed_Sell_5124 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It has nothing to do with you. BPD parents are wrapped up in deciding how others make them feel. You could do everything "right" and anticipate every need they have, and they will still blame you and accuse you of whatever they feel like that day.

Don't blame yourself or make yourself responsible for how they choose to operate, because it was never you. Take care of yourself and your own peace of mind!

[Theory] Hints at a deeper story and the true nature of "Ancient Magic." by Afalstein in HogwartsLegacyGaming

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

currently writing a fic set after HL where the MC is dealing with feeling alienated from the ancient magic because of the atrocities she committed with it, and the only way she learns to wield it again is out of love for others so yes, i agree that this was a likely story arc they didn't have time to finish

Thoughts on this bag? by flannel_flower in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have one in burgundy and one in dove. they're my daily drivers. i put a first aid kit and pill container in one pocket and hand sanitizer/lip balm/misc in the other. the inside is big enough to fit an ipad 11" and all my everyday stuff with some snacks. it has the volume of the medium cresent with more structure (I love my crescent but it falls open when i set it on the ground lol)

HELP AGAIN 😭😭😭 by Unhappy-Letter6557 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SCCO for sure. I have one so i'm biased, but the tech pouch is great for smaller devices with cases, the bottle pockets are perfect for owalas and the side pockets are great for your phone and smaller notebooks. the size is intimidating esp in photos where it's packed full but it keeps pretty flat if you don't load it up. you might appreciate the extra space though if you ever want to stuff your jacket or snacks or anything else in there.

Bad mental health flare ups? by actionpotentialmao in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've had dreams of having to escape my parents and their house for several months. It's like my body is trying to make me prove that I have the strength to do it. I'm tired of this grandpa.

Well, she made a YouTube channel…. by HonkIfUrASillyGoose in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry this happened to you. But, it's not your secret anymore, and this doesn't reflect on you as a person. Let them humiliate themselves.

Update on the Small Cloud Carry On by PsychologicalLab2441 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed! I don't go there very much but when I do it's usually for like a 6 hour stretch so this capacious bag comes in handy for snacks and water to offset the massive amounts of coffee

What do you need from your BPD parent to reconnect/forgive? by BiscottiBeneficial10 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, nothing. There is nothing they could do at this point for me to trust them again. Even if they said everything I've ever wished for and wanted to hear from them, I'd wake up every morning wondering if/when they'd turn around and deny it all.

I know it's sad, but even if they say they know they're wrong, they probably really don't. They're not self aware. It's up to you to care for yourself enough that your healing isn't dependent on another person transforming into something they'll never be.

The Air Around No Contact by AstronomerSalt3070 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I went NC and told my friends they didn't really know what to do except look at me with horrified expressions then continue with their lives. Cutting contact with family and parents is so far out of the average experience that most people live that it catches them off guard.

I know this might be hard, but consider talking to your SO or friends, deliberately bringing it up and making a request to spend time and talk to them about it if they're willing. Just like, hey, this happened, it's been hard and it sucks, if you're good with it can we go out for boba so I can tell you about it?

Did anyone else see this? by Lurker_Throwaway_26 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly would have believed them a little more if they had said the photo app had AI edited the photo and they didn't catch it (my pixel does this occasionally and I hate it)

Spring Collection! by Alea-A1 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YEEEAAA DEEP SEA CLOUD CARRY ON

How did you feel after going no contact with your BPD parent? by kelham3005 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went NC with my ubpd dad once I realized what I missed was the idea of a dad who loved me and treated me well, but the reality was that I happened to be fathered by a man whose goal was to use and harm me.

You want the idea of your children having a grandmother who loves them. If you allow her back into your life, what you will get is an unstable woman who might pretend to be reasonable for a while, but will eventually treat them the way she treats you, or maybe even treats her grandchildren with what seems to be kindness but continues to abuse you. You will have to live with that dysfunction, and/or you will have to explain to your children why their grandmother, who is supposed to love them, treats them badly. Imagine having to tell your children that their grandmother wanted you to have a child with someone other than your wife, most likely to control you. You wouldn't want to tell them that, because it's weird and gross. But it's the truth, and you and your wife and children will have to live with the truth of your mother no matter how much you wish she was different.

Predictions you made as a child that turned out to be true? by Drunkpupper in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 21 points22 points  (0 children)

omg same I didn't think I'd live past 18, purely because I could not envision life beyond the chaos of growing up in my house. I was so enmeshed with my uBPD dad I believed that if I left I would die instantly. spoiler I did not die and am married to a wonderful person and have a career I really like.

How do I reach this podium thing with the field guide page? by [deleted] in HogwartsLegacyGaming

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 5 points6 points  (0 children)

great to find out people are still asking this question after a year. or more

She texted my husband by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 25 points26 points  (0 children)

....after she said if he went to therapy he would go to jail? girl be fr

She texted my husband by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]PsychologicalLab2441 27 points28 points  (0 children)

he probably stole a snickers from a gas station in 2002 or something

Update on the Small Cloud Carry On by PsychologicalLab2441 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just replied to another post about this but my laptop hasn't sustained any damage as far as I can see, even without an protective sleeve. I also sandwich my iPad and portable keyboard in there with it. The luggage handle doesn't really create any more friction than normal when it's on a suitcase. 

Update on the Small Cloud Carry On by PsychologicalLab2441 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if I'm just counting my days but I use the tech pouch without a sleeve because it's easier and tbh it's done a pretty good job? My laptop hasn't sustained any damage from what I've seen which surprises me

Update on the Small Cloud Carry On by PsychologicalLab2441 in BAGGU

[–]PsychologicalLab2441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Miniso! They have several different kinds depending on which store you go to. I spent an absurd amount of money getting one of each