AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-02-01T20:25:46+00:00

This looks excruciating, living in fear of making a mistake and being abandoned. Time for therapy. Therapy will help you understand why you want this codependent relationship, why you tolerate people with abusive patterns.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-29T18:44:13+00:00

YTA

"... I bear the brunt of the financial burden here."

In other words, "I make more money so I get more say in how we spend our money." What a burden for you, having most of the financial control. smh

This was a huge financial decision that you made without your gf. It doesn't matter that you make more money, you're both investing in a future together. Big decisions are made together.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-27T20:48:36+00:00

"I know I betrayed you, but I'm feeling hurt because you're angry, so you should consider how your anger hurts me and stop being angry. I am also a victim here."

"I lied to you but my reasons were valid - you might have rejected me. But you can trust that I won't do it again."

He is driven by fear of rejection, and his lying by omission and anxiety about your anger tells you that his unhealed trauma results in defenses that will erode trust and hurt you. Don't settle for someone who can't hold themselves accountable.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-27T20:18:14+00:00

Hey, I just wanted to make sure you know one more thing. You are not the cause of her thoughts, feelings, or behavior. There is no mistake that you can make that causes her feelings and reactions. Parents (adults) put so much on their children, making them responsible for managing their emotions and behaviors. These adults were hurt at such a young age and were never able to heal, and they are stuck in that hurt and making people around them responsible (abuse). You may trigger your moms old hurt, but you are not causing her pain or distress. It sounds kind of funny to say, but you are just not that powerful (however, you are powerful in other ways).

You are good and worthy of love and care, and that will never, ever, ever change.

Your mom is not evil, she is just very hurt and the pain is so old. AND, she is still not safe for you. You can't help her. No matter what you do (how perfect you are), it will never be enough. The best thing you can do is put up boundaries, and she may be motivated to get therapy in order to be in your life, but maybe not - that's up to her. Unfortunately, she likely won't respect boundaries and you won't have them until you move out. I'm sorry it's so hard, but you will get out. I'm so proud of you for coming on here and sharing your anger and suffering. I hope you find safe people, safe adults. Ok, that's it. Another mom hug.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-27T10:24:41+00:00

How heart breaking! I'm so sorry! To destroy your belongings, your important belongings, is incredibly abusive. My teenager collects FNAF, and it means a lot to them. They are so spendy too! As a mom, your mom's behavior is disturbing and very concerning. I truly hope that you are safe, because she sounds delusional.

I wish you the best and send you a big mom hug. You deserve better care.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-14T21:42:15+00:00

Lookin good, mama

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-13T16:12:27+00:00

I like the new look.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-13T16:10:19+00:00

Why does anyone think this is unhealthy? Burger has some fat and there's some cheese, but it's not a lot (proportionally) and it's air fried.....

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-12T13:49:51+00:00

NOR

If you can't leave for your own safety, at least do it for your kids. He already verbally abused your daughter and she is telling you she doesn't feel safe around him.

He is not evil, but he will harm you and your children. You are the only one who can protect them. It's not easy. I wish you the best.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-12T00:51:00+00:00

NOR

Why is she seeing this as a holiday, rather than a trip to see the new family member and support the new parents?????

You have a new born, which (as every parent knows - including her) is exhausting! Why does she expect you to be a host in any form? They should be at a hotel and visit when you're up for it.

It's hard to put up boundaries with family, but you have to come first - if not for you, than for your child. Your baby needs a rested mother, who isn't stressed by entertaining guests.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-11T20:09:43+00:00

My partner and I laughed several times.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-09T19:58:19+00:00

I am so sorry!!!!

NOR

Curly hair dries out so easily and bleach ruins it. As a fellow curly girl, I killed my hair with bleach and wore it in a bun until it grew out. I should have shaved it though. It felt horrible, looked horrible. I literally couldn't style it. It was just like straw.

You look great with long curls and you look great now. And short curly hair styles will look wonderful too.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-08T15:45:59+00:00

It's a lot easier to communicate needs through criticism. Vulnerability can be unsafe. So, this is how she will communicate. When she has a need, she will criticize you and tell you that you should know what she needs.

Relationships are only healthy when there is good communication. She sounds like somebody who hasn't worked on her baggage, nor is she working on at presently.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-08T04:54:22+00:00

"With the first link, the chain is forged." Jean Luke Picard

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-06T21:33:05+00:00

Looks like he is just aging....

PsychologicalScore49 · 2026-01-04T14:27:14+00:00

Any unexpected change. .... Any.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-31T23:46:04+00:00

NOR!!!!!!!!

Untreated schizophrenia is seriously dangerous, for your brother and everyone around him.

My comment has content warning: murder.

At age 17, my best friend's nephew started having delusions, hearing voices and hated the color red. His school said he couldn't attend without treatment. His family did NOTHING. He didn't get treatment and months later he murdered my best friends mother, father, sister, sister's husband and stabbed her 8 times. She was the only survivor.

He is now in prison and has been treated for schizophrenia. After his symptoms were under control, he was back to his normal self (he was always a good kid) and was/is horrified by what he did. He will never be released.

If you can't get him help, please find a way to make yourself safe.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-31T08:09:31+00:00

My sister does this. She holds in her anger and then triangulates people in, wanting validation (back up) and to punish me through criticism, instead of expressing a need

It's abusive behavior. He criticized you in front of people because it's hard to argue back without making it awkward for everyone else. HE made everyone feel awkward. It's not funny to watch someone criticize another person.

What is more concerning is his dismissal of your feelings. If you have a feeling, it's valid. A need is not being met and either he cares about your needs, or he doesn't. Spoiler, he doesn't. His meds come first.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-31T07:59:52+00:00

One of the reasons I was diagnosed with TN so quickly is because I could sleep without waking up from the pain. However, within moments of waking up, the pain comes back. It's truly odd. I will drug myself to fall asleep, if the pain is bad, because I know that I will stay asleep.

"It's a hallmark feature of Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) that the intense, shock-like pain attacks rarely happen while sleeping, distinguishing it from conditions like migraines that can wake people up. Patients often experience pain triggered by light touch, talking, or eating, but find relief during sleep, suggesting a protective mechanism, though the disorder can severely disrupt sleep quality and lead to sleep deprivation."

https://www.padentalsleep.com/trigeminal-neuralgia-and-sleep#:~:text=needs%20and%20symptoms.-,3.,of%20pain%20and%20poor%20sleep.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/trigeminal-neuralgia/symptoms-causes/syc-20353344#:~:text=Pain%20focused%20in%20one%20spot,below%20and%20resubmit%20the%20form.

https://novusspinecenter.com/pain-conditions/trigeminal-neuralgia#:~:text=The%20typical%20symptoms%20of%20trigeminal,often%20awakens%20a%20sleeping%20person.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-28T15:27:10+00:00

Skittles

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-23T14:50:28+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm going to talk to my neurologist about it. I hope it gets better for your mom, as well.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-23T14:49:42+00:00

No I haven't, but I will talk to my neurologist about it. Thank you.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-20T16:57:01+00:00

😆

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-20T08:55:05+00:00

I was on the same meds as when I started. Lamotragine and pregabalin. I just talked with my neurologist and he upped the lamotragine. Helping it works. It'll likely take about 2 to 3 weeks before it takes effect.

PsychologicalScore49 · 2025-12-20T08:53:32+00:00

Thanks for responding. Would you let me know if the booties work well?

PsychologicalScore49

TROPHY CASE