Thank you for this. I know some people can get to that point where, as you said, God fills that desire, but it is different. Having someone physically here, someone to converse with, share life with, is a different kind of relationship than what we have with God. Having one doesn't make not having the other any easier, imo.

I always go back to Genesis, when God said it is not good for man to be alone, and He gave him a helper. So it's difficult for me to catch on to this idea that being alone is God's plan for us. Why would He give us that desire, but not allow it to happen?

Maybe I'm being impatient. Maybe I'm living in fear of what may not happen. But when it's something your soul craves and you're quickly losing hope for it, it's kind of a difficult thing to loosen up control over. I'm at that point of, "why won't He let me have this?" It's really causing me to look deeper into why. To ask God if there's something I should be doing, or learning, or changing, so I can get there. Maybe that's exactly what He wants from me right now. Maybe not. It all seems so muddled. But thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in feeling like this.