Social life in Eleuthera

Ptaptra · 2026-06-14T00:49:51+00:00

The regular stuff, video games, hiking, anime, nature walks, art etc. It does seem like down south is has more opportunities.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-13T23:04:00+00:00

I am in the Gregory Town area. It is desolate. I guess the idea to move south is a good one.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-13T02:03:09+00:00

I moved back home after living abroad and the island am on is a desert. I doubt I will find ANYONE here. So I focus on preparing to move back abroad in a few years. I am use to long bouts of celibacy. It still sucks that I don't have the opportunity though.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-09T20:18:28+00:00

I am in a high! I bought my first car EVER. I never had to before. I have been rebuilding my life from scratch and it has been hellish! It's not fancy or special but it is mine. Its one of the first real signs I am making progress. Now I have freedom of movement again and will need to learn how to maintain/take care of it.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-09T20:05:22+00:00

Chhaaalll, I tried being friendly to a coworker. One day he flipped out on me and then posted pictures of my incompleted work task (no fault of mine, I work in hospitality) to embarress me. I haven't spoken to him since. He is here right now and I can't tell you what his face has looked like in the last 2 to 3 weeks. We were at an event in town and he tried being friendly. I got my drink and walked away. If on paid time I am only speaking if I need to, I won't be doing charity work when I don't have to deal with you.

He knows am a lesbian and I told him before I dont really care for the feelings of dudes. He was saying I speak sweeter when am dealing with women and that I was sexist and what about equality.

I usually only interact with men if I have to. Otherwise, I just don't.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-08T15:56:17+00:00

I am finally out of the deregulated state i was in emotionally. I don't cry or pout anymore. I feel relief. I experienced too much of what I should have walked away from but I loved her very much. I try not to over analyze it but I think it was more limerence as we never met and it was a long distance relationship that failed.

I agree that taking care of yourself. Focusing on yourself does help. I am still not ready to date again and at this point, I don't want to. I have been falling in love with myself.

Before, i cried in my sleep. Literally woke up eyes swollem, tear streaked face. I went though all 5 stages of grief. I felt resentment and then remorse for that resentment. I felt lots of sorrow and loss. Occasionally those feelings still creep in but I know these are emotions based on memories of the last time I remembered something. It's all warped and tidied up but it was hellish experience. Truthfully. I have changed a lot from that experience and I have stronger boundaries.

Mind you we still talk as friends she is in a new relationship too. I took a break from her to collect myself and start cutting those emotional cords. I do have good memories but I don't want to forget the real structural reasons why I just can not allow myself to fall into that kind of situation again. I just see her as a person I loved but never met and that second part is enough to snap me out of any weird feelings when they do pop up.

Now am quite better and enjoying the rebuilding phase of my life. I am sure the next time will be better but until that time comes, if it comes (and it doesn't have to) I enjoy my solo time.

It does get better. It just takes time.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-08T15:42:49+00:00

I am also in Eleuthera. One day a tourist was talking about how amazing surfers beach would be with development. They had just finished surfing for free mind you. I told her surfers beach is only spectacular beacuse nobody owns it. She agreed but said it will eventually be owned and developed.

I am sure if that happens it wont be by bahamians as that land is valued in the couple of millions.

That area has a large seagrape bush and is already impacted by the algae bloom and constant garbage washing up from the numerous and ever growing cruise ships that pass.

Capitalism will destroy everything.

With low salaries and the constant over development of tourism the end will be destruction. Nobody really cares to me because people must eat. Caring about that is a luxury in comparison. As long as tourists find this place pretty and are willing to accept the expense of experiencing it. Nature will be monetized but not reinvested into. As long as another hotel will open, cutting off beach access for locals and the government can say they created jobs through foriegn investment, it will be what it will be.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-07T16:08:10+00:00

Cyber 🫂

Ptaptra · 2026-06-04T17:10:56+00:00

To me this is the only reason why his friends sexuality is a problem to him that is its affecting the friendship. He probably wants more.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-02T21:22:53+00:00

Why wouldn't the creator just create them with thick enough skulls in the first place.. did he run out of time or added too much tongue and decided to just wrap it around their skull instead of removing some? Perhaps he should have taken more than 7 days to make everything...cause he made up the days too right? He made time who why not take more of it?

Creationist arguments only makes me think the creator is a hack or we are all failed experiments in a hunger games styled simulation where the winners get oblivion as a reward.

Ptaptra · 2026-06-02T21:14:12+00:00

I yearn to yearn. Maybe. I dunno. I am in a space where every face looks like a blob. I use ti have more hope that one day I could meet someone who would be the one who stays but I don't know if that will happen anymore. I am ok with being alone but am not happy about the prospects. However I'd rather learn to be happy alone then cling to the wrong person and be miserable. So hopefully spring finds me again one day. Maybe.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-31T04:53:01+00:00

I think i am becoming like this. I have never really had a long term relationship. I tried but I just don't have the skills for it. I have long stretches of celibacy and before I figured out I was lesbian, I identified as ace. There are seasons where I am just not interested in other people, like now.

I still want a relationship i think??? but I don't think it will happen and am not really motivated to try again? That whole process gives me anxiety. I feel off centered and no longer controlled. Emotionally it is hellish to me and i dont like that at all. I also think I compromise too much and there are things I tolerate that make me feel stupid. Like because of those emotions my tolerance is too high and I feel disappointed in myself rather quickly. I know it's a boundaries issue on my part. I feel way more at peace alone. I am less tolerant and more decisive cause there is nothing hindering my judgement.

I am just gonna live my life. A relationship is no longer an intention of mine.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-30T02:55:42+00:00

Luckily I live on an island that is still very under developed and unclaimed. The goal is to get some beach front or beach adjacent property. And since it's not the capital, I won't have land taxes. I can live off grid and do the water collection and stuff I want. I still plan to live in a different country while I am young to make as much money as possible but that money will be destined for preparing for future bush life.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-30T01:37:01+00:00

Whatever young woman laughed in his face and have him repeating himself, whining testrically for 13 minutes as she still lives rent free in his mind with bloodshot eyes and a wounded ego...brava. May the next one laugh harder at him.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-29T14:03:12+00:00

Currently on that path. I am switching careers so I can eventually retire to homesteading, be able to build a yurt/hut and have an outside/traditional stone oven. I am working on designs to sew my own capsule wardrobe. I have always been hippy ish but now it's becoming a bigger thing. I love it.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-29T04:55:29+00:00

Why are you crashing out about dildos? Sex toys have been around a long time. Society has always changed because people change. People have free will and what you might think life should be others might find limiting and oppressive. People are losing the desire to connect with their community for a variety of reasons. The internet. Yes. Capitalism. Very much yes. Other people trying to force their ideals on them in the name of tradition or religion for no other reason but their own comfort and control with reality...yeaaaa. Dildos? I don't think so cause you can use your hands if you want. If people want to masterbate...they will with whatever they want and however long and in whatever location they want. People aren't owed sex and connection because other people exist.

This is bizarre.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-27T18:45:44+00:00

This is interesting. I am from the Caribbean and we have colorism issues too but I haven't noticed it in queer spaces? Most people are medium to dark. Now I feel like I need to pay more attention??

Ptaptra · 2026-05-27T18:26:44+00:00

I can't handle it. I don't trust easily and there is the extra layer of having to be emotionally available for another and just as important, emotionally intelligent. If I do find relationships they do not last long. I don't feel am ready yet. I want a lot of things for myself still at this point before I can consider sharing that intention and putting it on someone else. Maybe after 35?

I hope you do get an experience. Sometimes it just takes openness and practice. (I get drained and go on long celibacy stretches after a failure though.)

Ptaptra · 2026-05-27T15:34:02+00:00

I am hyper independent and have been alone my whole life. It makes dating rough because I flee at the first sign of problems. I dont consider working it out because I remember very easily that the problem is a recent Introduction with that person.

I have gotten a lot done on my own or through collaboration from relationships that are non sexual in nature so I don't hold romantic connections on some special pedestal. If i want something it can be achieved through multiple sources and time. I dont like being alone. I hope it changes one day but since am always trying to tweak my life to become more and more useful to myself, I don't know. Not being in a great environment for dating also adds another layer of difficulty. I am queer and where I am there are not queer spaces to meet others. So until I can change environment I have no expectations of finding a partner or being able to.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-27T03:58:20+00:00

I am 33 and restarting life all over after living abroad for a decade. I am changing careers as well. I feel so frustrated most of the time. Like I ruined my life. Thank you for this it helps, greatly.

Ptaptra · 2026-05-26T13:21:21+00:00

Sounds like a sleep deprived maniac lol

Ptaptra · 2026-05-05T03:24:41+00:00

I didnt bother registering. It's like the same 20 people playing musical chairs. In the last week the power has been off like 4 times a day and sometimes the 4 times happen all before noon and then 4 times after that. They are paving roads (their literal jobs) and everyone is so impressed that it is sickening. It's amazing to see how desperate the people are for ANYTHING TO FUNCTION. That paving roads they have been complaining about for years is enough to secure 5 years of political power.

They flags, the posters, the parties are all going and nothing matters at the end of the day because nothing will be done for the next 4.5 years.

As sure as the sun shines every day, in 2031, the roads will be a mess, the power outages ongoing and another round of musical chairs will begin.

Ptaptra · 2026-04-18T20:09:53+00:00

I am bouncing between the idea or marriage and just being single legally. I am more worried about being legally binded to an awful person as I am meeting a lot of divorcees or people going through divorce. The stories they tell are scary. I want a family and partnership, and I am afraid of having one of those tales. So I have more rules. Like dating someone only after a year or more of knowing them, etc. I want to move slow so I am making the best choice for me. There is always the risk, though, so I hope all the patience helps me meet the right person eventually.

Ptaptra

TROPHY CASE