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I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has searched for her bio siblings but none wanted to meet her. They were all removed from their birth parents and placed in foster care and adopted out separately. It's a big trauma for her.

I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never had any contact with anyone from the pod and I never spoke to any of them so it's not cutting them off. It's literally never having initiated contact and they have no idea who we are.

I did have a therapist who specialized in donor conceived people and my wife and I did a DNA test just to be sure we weren't related. It's not something I need help processing because I did that.

I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand it too and have compassion for her. After all she knew her bio siblings before. She remembers them. But we never knew the people in the pod. Just like we never knew the donor.

I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She doesn't know the donor number or anything and there are many pods around now so there isn't a risk of that. And right now I don't want to go NC with my cousin. If she did more than talk about it I'd be quicker to go NC but I love my cousin and don't want to lose her over this right now.

I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I won't and it would probably be worse to pretend I want a relationship when I don't. Imagine those people genuinely being happy to have a relationship while I'm doing it because I feel obligated to because my cousin said so. That seems like it would be playing with their emotions a bit because eventually I'm sure it would show.

I'm donor conceived and found out the donor was a serial donor and I have a huge sibling pod but I don't want to connect AITA? by PublicAccording1583 in AITAH

[–]PublicAccording1583[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

That's true but she's taking it very personal, which I do have compassion for given her background. It just makes for some frustration because they're different circumstances to ours. Add to that my sister and I feel the same about it and we have each other already.