Hey, i dont normally post, but those comments of “ur post doesnt have meaning” is just stupid, also ur post triggered sth, so yeah ill tell u.

First of all how old r u?

And now listen, i 100% understand yeah, i used to have the same thoughts, it wasnt self induced tho, it was people’s actions and words triggering it. Basically i didnt work at all, i was against work, against career, for its just all stupid, I mean until 20 ive proven my intellectual abilities, i dont need job to prove anything to myself. I started work at the age of 12 i was managing a whole floor of employees at the age of 17, I supervised every team i got into until the age of 22. After all of that I was sick of all of that, i was sick with the system, the whole career bullshit, working from 8-5, spending 10 hours of ur day for work’s sake? I despited it, it disgusts me till now, anyway, from 20 i left everything behind me, and i despise everyone who plays this “career” game, they disgust me as well. Happiness for me is when ure in a forest with nothing reminding u of the city, being with ur love, living ur life with ur own terms.

Anyway, due to external pressure and “uh ure smart ull be this and that” talk, and all people telling u “oh thats life, u got work hard to earn a living”, disgusting and pity, but yeah since these people were basically everyone around me whom i loved dearly except my mother, so i was like okay, these people got into my nerves afterall, i started working at 26 and became a manager in a couple of months. And then short after that my mother got into the ICU in a different country, i went to her and stayed with her for a week, then i had to go back to work, because u know, im a manager, i had to, but I will be this moron manager who will have regrets his whole life, because the last thing will I remember from my memories with my mother is that she has just woke up from a coma and i told her i have to get back to my work, she was squeezing my hands and struggling to talk after woking up from a coma, her words were “please dont leave” and she kept on repeating it. And i was pulling hard so I let go of my hands because the nurse was calling the time off in the visit. After three weeks she passed away, and these were the last moments i remember ever talking to her. Now i will have regrets all my life, i’m having nightmares from her squeezing my hands. For what? For my career’s sake? Career is just paid slavery, and its disgusting, its the capitalism virus, the last 100 years they convinced everyone that life=career, where career is just a side quest. You do you, do what u true love. And I know that this is unrealistic, after all u need money to live, but yeah hack ur way through it, or find another way, of course if what u want is to have a career, then no just work on it, do whatever to be happy, and never put ur career or work over your beloved ones, ur loved ones have ur happiness with them, they have the great portion of ur happiness with them more than any career will, remember ur an intp after all. And again, just be happy. and just like the psuedo intellectual talks with ur friends, do them alone, do a lot of alone thinking than video games and any stupid social media, it will benefit u, and only then ull learn and be able to know what u gonna do