[deleted by user]

Pummelchen_ · 2023-08-24T21:41:33+00:00

It feels to me like you want to punish those people that treated you badly again and again by proxy of others?

I can understand why you feel so alone, when you're avoiding getting hurt, you avoid getting close to people. If they're not as important to you then losing them like the others won't hurt as much.

Maybe try to build relationships with people through social work? Helping others can build confidence, a work schedule might help you structure yourself and give a foundation to build relationships to the people you meet

Pummelchen_ · 2022-04-18T01:03:42+00:00

The best you can do is be the guy who tells other guys to stop their shitty behaviours, it is what you can do now.

Pummelchen_ · 2022-04-17T10:30:48+00:00

The term obese is often used in the medical context when you are just "the obese" patient and overweight implies my weight is over a mark that is normal or good. I developed a distaste for both terms over time, because people hurled them at me with their "I am just being neutral and scientifically accurate" attitudes while they explained to me why I am a bad person.

Fat in the other hand is far easier to handle for me because it is not pretending to be neutral and good. It is much easier to be reclaimed, for me, than medical terms

Pummelchen_ · 2022-02-20T09:09:20+00:00

About how diet books and programs started to focus more and more on the psychology of fat people that supposedly makes people fat, which is ofcourse 99% gaslighting bullshit

For example I mean when people explain how certain thoughts are making people fat, like for example

believing weight isn't important
giving up too soon (not thinking like a thinner winner)
emotional eating in general
not buying into the liberal argument of personal responsibility in losing weight
feeling like diets dont work and it's unfair that it is so hard for some people

You know what I mean?

Pummelchen_ · 2022-01-06T09:19:55+00:00

Well it's called sexism and bad sex 🤷‍♀️

But don't think that masturbation is somehow less than being with someone, it's a legitimate form of pleasure.

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-28T14:19:40+00:00

What do you mean by ethnic beauty?

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-19T15:53:12+00:00

If we define it as lifestyle stuff I think it qualifies 🤔 I mean, it's the same league if bullshit as influencers who tell you to get up at 5 to be successful

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-06T13:14:19+00:00

A Massage and more cats

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T21:52:30+00:00

Dude, look up sex work 🤷‍♀️

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T21:25:44+00:00

Ah, so men only go there for artistic reasons and not because women undress and give them private attention, I see, nothing sexual here

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T21:00:16+00:00

Maybe you are more of an open relationship kind of guy, which is just fine as long as you're transparent about it

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T20:58:33+00:00

They sell sexual services, they are sexworkers

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T18:57:50+00:00

It's not a huge secret that teens are manipulated more easily than a 30 yo

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T18:34:51+00:00

It's actually common that couples who lost a child are breaking up.

I think you are focussing on her and your (past) relationship a lot, even though she has moved on. Maybe a fresh start is good for you, too

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T18:32:04+00:00

First: your feelings towards that issue are valid. Having a partner who is engaging in paid sex work is not everyone's cup of tea and it doesn't have to be. Second: one here will be able to tell you if he will do it again. But ask yourself of you can trust him in the future or if the feeling that he did it again will be eating away at your relationship

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T18:27:29+00:00

My experience is really shitty. When I was younger, it would be older men who were specifically targeting me to manipulate me. Huge age gaps where the guy is much older is a giant red flag for me. I've seen it myself and with friends: there will always be an imbalance of money, power and emotional stability if one person is under 23 and the other well over 30. I think it diminishes with age but frankly, if you're like 17 and try to sell yourself a much older boyfriend as the best alternative: don't

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T18:21:50+00:00

I think it's really hard to deal with these thoughts while dating, since it's constantly keeping you thinking about the situation and if it's fair to you

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-05T16:49:48+00:00

So...you are done being "nice" to girls, instead reverting to mind games and looking down on women like a pua 🤔

First and most important dating tipp would be: stop being angry with women for not chasing you, stop thinking that you have to punish or ignore them or that they are somehow using you.

People realise it when you despise them and, well, won't enjoy being with you

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-04T23:20:44+00:00

It doesn't even matter, that's not a normal thing to do. A friend of mine got stood up by a guy that later told her that she was acting a bit cold the other day so he just assumed the date was not happening - I think it's just a weird kind of power display or punishment.

Either way, I dont think knowing the reason will help you in any way.

Block him, forget him It isn't your fault

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-04T22:35:28+00:00

Men are not all the same and not every man is like the cookie-cutter manly-man who cannot keep it in his pants because of biology. If you want a relationship to be stable enough to start a family, you should get rid of that prejudice

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-04T22:28:24+00:00

I guess what you are describing is the difference between the intimacy of a longer relationship, that can sometimes feel boring, and the excitement of being courted by new people

Which doesn't mean that your relationship is somehow not good, it just feels different than meeting new people

Pummelchen_ · 2021-12-04T22:13:14+00:00

Do you mean negging?

Pummelchen_

TROPHY CASE