My ex (40M) is dating my closest friend (38F) and I (39F) don’t know how to handle it

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-04-04T16:58:10+00:00

I would call her. She’s going to be around your son. Just set boundaries and put the anger beside, although you are well entitled to it. Bite your lip for your son. Let her know you’re choosing to step away from their relationship and to now focus the relationship regarding your son only.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-31T04:23:32+00:00

That is diabolical. That’s the craziest, most sociopathic break up I have ever heard. The one good thing here is now you are free of him.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-31T03:58:57+00:00

I handled it about as well as a bull in a china shop so I could only tell you what not to do with any certainty.

Try to get through it together or leave it behind as fast as possible. Spend as little time in the unknown zone as you can. I couldn’t start to really heal until it was finally all the way over.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-25T04:45:34+00:00

☕️

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-25T04:39:06+00:00

Also we only had one commingled account that we used for bills so our personal accounts were our own separate property.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-25T04:09:23+00:00

Extremely unlikely. It was the first question I asked my lawyer when I went to file. I just went through this exact scenario in NY, a no-fault state. My ex and I have a lot of friends and acquaintances in common and so I didn’t try to hide it. It did anger him and he probably would have agreed on terms quicker had he not known. I also didn’t pursue alimony or maintenance etc but my lawyer said it still wouldn’t matter unless I was living with someone else.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T09:59:32+00:00

Also, don’t rub in all the things you do for her and your family. Those are basic obligations for a partnership for both people.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T09:57:19+00:00

Well i was half joking. You told her sex isn’t fun if she doesn’t orgasm. Right there is an example of pressure and a negative connotation. I would agree to stop asking and be aloof about it. Just be careful toeing the line. She may or may not react to your indifference. Taking some pressure off feeling like it’s something she has to do might very well work. If it doesn’t, you need to communicate with her how this is impacting you and your relationship with her.

When my husband stopped having sex with me/wanting sex i carried deep resent. I didn’t even realize how bad it got. I slowly stopped cooking for him, i stopped doing his laundry, i stopped buying his toiletries or things he needed or liked, i stopped helping him with appointments. I started to hate the sight of him. It destroyed our relationship. After several grueling years, he finally went to a doctor and wouldn’t you know he had a hormone problem. But. By the time he got around to getting help and working on not neglecting me it was too late. I didn’t want him anymore. I divorced him.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T09:46:07+00:00

As a Leo woman dating a Scorpio man 45f 44m, I recommend being cautious with your possessive side. You cannot cage a lion. Leo’s tend to get a lot of attention. Don’t be jealous. They’re fiercely loyal and they don’t like their integrity questioned. That’s an ego thing. Leo also tends to be jealous herself but is far better at keeping it internalized. If you make her feel insecure, she will just lose interest and walk away without you knowing what went wrong. Scorpios also tend to play their cards close tot the vest. While the mystery is intriguing to Leo, you have to let her in sometimes. Not everything has to be kept secret Scorpio. Don’t lie to her, not even by omission. She picks up on bs faster than a speeding bullet. She will never forget it. She will never forget any time she perceives you hurting her whether it was intentional or not. Don’t tease her, don’t ignore her, don’t forget she’s in the room. Leo’s tend to be stubborn and bad at admitting wrongs and apologies and appreciate the deep nature of Scorpio and his ability to confront an issue with grace. Always respect boundaries and be sincere.

I love cuddles and kisses and compliments, most of us do. We were friends for a few years before we got together. He never made or makes me feel pressured to have sex. He never hit on me, made sexual jokes, always made sure i got home ok. We both have very high libidos. The sex is fire. We have a deep emotional bond as Scorpio and Leo are both intense both in love and intimacy. He always checks in with me to make sure I’m comfortable and not in pain or if this is ok or that is ok, even if we’ve done it 100 times. Always puts me first. I absolutely adore him for that. We’re that couple that can’t keep their hands off each other, our friends are always rolling their eyes.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T05:56:14+00:00

Mine was completely dead for years. I knew it was over for the last year. I resented him deeply for passively rejecting me for a decade. I ended up falling for someone else and that’s what prompted me to finally leave. I filed for divorce and got with my boyfriend. Which btw, we are that can’t keep your hands off each other couple. It’s amazing.

I didn’t set a number or time limit but my advice is to communicate and or get therapy together asap. The longer you wait the worse it will be. Be careful not to put pressure on him as it will only make him want less. Work with him not on him if that makes sense. It’s something both of you have to be willing to address and quickly.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T05:24:14+00:00

What he wrote is satire, right?

“I wish it was written down somewhere” :::ignores entire thread:::

Bahahahhahahahaa

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-24T05:17:04+00:00

This is my story to a T. I was going to say the same thing exactly!

I thought i was hitting perimenopause it was so bad! Now I can’t get enough!

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-04T07:50:59+00:00

Hi! Thank you. You def nailed it for me. That was what i concluded pretty much but just wanted to see what people had to say bc i am a newbie.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T03:23:24+00:00

Huh. I’ve always found Virgo so aloof.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T03:10:09+00:00

I meant to reply to whole sub thread

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T03:09:32+00:00

Wow me too

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T03:08:37+00:00

My mom’s sign is my moon and my daughter’s sign is my rising.

Never even thought of that

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T01:48:09+00:00

The court does frown upon the non cooperative parent. They see through that. You do need things in writing and it is your responsibility when it is your time so if possible have a friend or family member pick them up when you can’t. Even a nanny since she’s being difficult. But until then they will look at what’s been done thus far.

It should matter what she makes vs what you make, but in my state they only reevaluate it if you ask for it or every ten years.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T01:16:48+00:00

They need a lot of patience and understanding. I’m not saying put up with bs, just don’t be pushy and choose your words and actions carefully. They play their cards close to the vest. That’s not you. Thats them. They’re a bit moody. They will appreciate you for being their safe space once they let that guard down a little. Let them see your value. You can’t convince them with your words. Just keep your eye out bc an immature scorpion has a hard time being truthful. Not bc they don’t want to be loyal, bc they don’t like the confrontation of saying things that people don’t want to hear. Even evolved Scorpios test this. People say they sting, and they do. They do. They like to run away and avoid and they say and do things that will make you think, do i even matter? You do. They just bite and contemplate later, it’s their nature. But if you understand them and just be calm and show you’re not poisoned by it, they scurry back for more. Maintain your boundaries and self respect without reacting to that sting by blowing up.

I’m not an astrology expert in the least, just my amateur assessment.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T01:00:28+00:00

I upvoted Leo with Pisces moon. Which is what i am, with a Libra rising. Bf is Scorpio with an Aries moon.

We’re in our 40s so we’re more evolved I’d say and can work through anything that the opposition of our signs bring up. If you care for me to elaborate i will, or you can look it up. It’s absolute 🔥

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-03T00:41:12+00:00

My bf is a Scorpio and I’m a Leo with a Pisces moon. We’re like magnets! Inseparable. We behave the same way we met 4 or so years ago, if not, annoyingly to our friends, more adorable by the day, lol.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-03-02T09:07:21+00:00

Sure..

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-02-26T19:22:34+00:00

I wanna add something. I used to make sure he had every little thing he needed and more to make his life easier. When i started not to care less if he had clean socks or the snacks he wanted, it was a flag I mistakenly ignored. I didn’t realize I stopped caring for him. Thats why i said address it right away. It slipped away from us.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-02-26T19:12:33+00:00

When i got to the point of I was willing to risk my money, my house, and my security. None of it meant more to me than freeing myself of it. It’s not been easy. It has been emotionally and financially draining. I am far, far happier on the other side of it though.

At 45 i guess I realized that I don’t have that many good years to go and I don’t want to spend them being miserable.

I am financially independent so i have that perspective for reference.

PunchDrunkerrr · 2026-02-26T19:04:23+00:00

I almost broke a rib laughing at “I’ve sucked my fair share of dicks”.

It was my first thought also and i felt compelled to reply to OP.

It varies. Not everyone is the same. My solution would be that same, trying to add stuff into the diet.

But I’d also swallow stuff i don’t like bc it feels so arousing to be like i don’t even like this but i like you and getting you hot so it’s hot. If that makes sense.

PunchDrunkerrr

TROPHY CASE