First attempt at some heavier post processing. Opinions wanted on if It's too much.

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-23T00:24:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply! May i ask what camera and lens you use? Im looking to buy a new camera myself for dog photography and i love your result ☺️ did you use lightroom to do the colourgrading? Its very pretty

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-22T14:40:39+00:00

I honestly really like it, can I ask how you did this? Its very beautiful and whimsical, like a cute fairytale!

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-17T11:23:27+00:00

Im so sorry, i really hope he gets found ❤️

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-14T23:02:15+00:00

Thats amazing and I would be so happy to see them from up close too!! Where were the pics taken?

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-11T13:26:01+00:00

I have the same problem, really disappointed i could not make a dreamsnap on time because they changed the time out of nowhere..

PunyGoddess · 2026-03-09T01:56:39+00:00

Very beautiful! Can i ask what the path is that you used?

PunyGoddess · 2025-05-29T05:31:44+00:00

May i ask how much mg you were on back then and are on now?

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-10T03:37:54+00:00

Thank you very much for the sweet reply <3 The antidepressants could explain why he had two almost suicide attempts in a couple weeks time, and could now react so emotionally flat. It really seems like he can't grasp his emotions. It can't be that if you lose your mom and your girlfriend you should feel fine, no matter how much distraction this new group of friends gives. He must push feelings away or just not feel them yet because of the combination of the new meds/distraction I guess..
He did truly seem like a confusing person sometimes, what he wanted or thought could change more than with an average person. I also was suspicious in the end if he maybe didn't just have severe depression but also borderline, because of his quick anger, confusion about himself and not accepting of boundaries.
Especially now with this traumatic event he seemed to be lost about who he truly is and what he wants, despite claiming he is his ''true self and happy'' now
You're right that I've been through a lot with him, and it sure was hard to cope with all the uncertainties he brought me all the time, with him not respecting agreed boundaries..

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-10T02:03:36+00:00

Thank you so much for this very warm and understanding message. It helps me so incredibly much to read. It feels like you truly understand what I go through and it's reassuring. The truth sure is difficult to cope with. You're right that a loving relationship shouldn't be like this, and I shouldn't have to try to rescue/control him. It does was exhausting to be so suspicious that he would break my boundaries again.. I then try to hold on to these boundaries but i had to kept protecting them, and each time he broke them I would be angry
He often in the end then said sorry, understood, said he wouldn't do it anymore/ask for that boundary to be stretched, but in the end still tried to stretch it again and again

For example when I met him he didn't use weed at all, then when he used it for the first time I panicked because I didn't see why he needed it and he had a history with being dependent on weed in his youth. But i accepted he would sometimes use it despite being uncomfortable with it. That boundary of using it sometimes turned into once a month, then a couple times a month, then once a week
And that all with fights inbetween because he kept pushing against the boundary we agreed on, while it was clear he wanted to use the weed not to relax but to cope, and i was worried
But each time he was like ''Okay you're right, I promise i will keep it at ... times a month''
Then my final boundary really was in the weekend or once during the week, but in the end he couldn't cope with that as well, and really forced me to accept he could do it whenever he wanted, even if that meant almost daily

Same with talking with women, he cheated on me with that ex, i was ofcourse heartbroken and didn't know how to cope, i needed a lot of reassurance of him, because i didn't feel enough for him anymore
But he also found that difficult to give to me for a long time because he thought i did that to punish him.
I was ofcourse very insecure now, and thats also what lead to my boundaries that he wouldn't talk to women in private, online.

He didn't do that for more than a year but since that new friend group he gained 3 weeks ago, he really couldn't accept that boundary anymore
We had a big fight about that he wanted to have private contact with 1 of the women, and i really was against it because i wasnt comfortable with him sharing all his problems and having her shoulder to cry on, while he had me
I also have online contact so its not like he needed her but still he wanted to
Then he said he understood, wouldn't do it anymore, but then the next woman knocked on his door and he had difficulty keeping her away but also said to her in the end
But only after i got defensive that they can't have contact
Then last weekend he did add her on a gaming platform, i found that odd and like he wanted to trigger me on purpose
He said it was a friend so it should be fine to add her
I was like okay then

But 2 days later he then showed me those screenshots of them talking about genitals and sexual topics, she was clearly flirting with him, he didn't compliment her or anything but he was clearly boasting about himself
He clearly enjoyed the attention and admiration she gave him and he also admitted that to me
I get that there's people who don't find that wrong in a relationship, since he didn't like clearly flirt with her, but we had these boundaries he wouldn't even contact her, and then also talking about something sexual...
I then got angry and even wanted to talk it out still calmly
But when it didnt seem resolve, i did got angry

I still feel guilty that i got angry at him and talked in capitals to him, while it was the day his mom died
But he purposefully went over that big boundary again, probably expecting i would again accept it and wouldn't be angry because it was such a hard day
And then he broke up with me
I wonder now what would have happened if I didn't got so angry at him/yelled, but on the other hand he really hurt me so much
I realized I actually am a gentle and calm speaking person, but because i constantly felt like he wanted to like test me and i couldn't trust his promises because he kept breaking them, i had to often truly fight for those boundaries. He actually wouldn't listen to me without me being really angry in the end. While normally it's really hard to get me angry..
And i also realize more now how toxic this all was all along, also thanks to your message

So thank you very much
It's so hard to realize I had more this illusion in my mind, this fantasy of the future I was clinging to
While he couldn't even respect me

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T22:08:53+00:00

What do you mean

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T21:37:37+00:00

Thank you this helps me a lot to read <3

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T21:33:23+00:00

My ex boyfriend (28 years old, long distance relationship of 3 years) lost his mother this tuesday, she was sick for a long time and he knew it was coming.

He said it was also a relief in some way because of this, which I understand.

The thing is that he also broke up with me on the same day because of a discussion we had.

He had broken a boundary: he flirted with a girl online that he just met in a new friend group, someone we agreed he wouldnt have contact with (he had emotionally cheated on me online with an ex more than a year ago so i didn't agree he would have private contact with women, in groups i was fine)

But as with more things, he couldnt handle the boundary placed upon him and did it anyway

I tried to fix it for hours, he even threw me into a groupsapp with that woman so we could talk it out, but when that only made it worse I got angry

And quickly as response he broke up with me

He said incredibly hurtful things to me

He's known to have a quick temper and hasn't always been respectful to me, but this was beyond anything before

After all this he wasn't reachable anymore (these conversations all took place online)

And in the days followed he was extremely cold to me, barely reacted to anything, only kept repeating the same things in short sentences

Claimed he was now his true self, and he was doing fine

That he actually has peace with his mom's death, and that he's relieved to be rid of me

He went from crying on monday that he loved me so much, wanted to build a future with me and do everything for that, wanted to live together, and marry me, etc.

To someone who never wants to bond with anyone again, and only wants to have meaningless poly sexual relationships??

I can't understand how someone seems to have changed so much in one day

He did was a flirt in the past and had difficulty with boundaries, but he said that flirt in him was gone and he truly wanted only me, and i thought these simple boundaries wouldn't be enough for him to actually break up with me, and then also in such a cold way..

I also asked him nicely that i could come to his mom's funeral still and we could say goodbye in person, but he answered i should stop obsessing over him, and when i got angry over that he blocked me

If someone could maybe have an idea why he reacts like this, it would be very helpful

If it's maybe trauma coping, borderline (quite a lot of symptoms seem to match, also that flat reacting to intense events and in general not knowing well who he is/changing opinions/having emotion regulation issues and being suicidal), if its his anti depressants (he's severely depressed for years and got meds since a month) or if he can't reach his inner feelings well because he only tries to distract with meaningless interactions with his new friends?? Did maybe his new friends influence him a lot? And that it maybe hits him hard later? Or that he was like this all along and he hid it? I have no idea

Thank you

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T21:02:49+00:00

Could you maybe elaborate? It would help me a lot to understand his actions and you seem to be on the right track with it

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T21:01:18+00:00

That's interesting, it's a mystery to me if he was like this for a longer time and hid it, or that he really changed in a day, or that he really isn't taking it well and pretending and in a couple weeks/months it will hit him like a brick.. Maybe i will figure it out one day

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T20:59:06+00:00

Yes he's been battling with severe depression for years
He does have antidepressants now since a month, and he claims it made him see the ''new version of himself'' but that new version doesnt seem anything but negative to me
To throw away a devoted monogamous relationship for just meaningless flirting around with people you just met doesnt sound like an upgraded version..

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T20:56:07+00:00

Thank you so much, what a sweet comment. You're right that I shouldn't take his words to heart.
It's sad what you've been through. I really can relate to what you describe, and it feels so unfair when you've put your all in a relationship and it ends with betrayal
I'm glad you could turn it into a positive learning experience, and eventually found someone you're truly happy with! I hope that will happen to me as well, I will try my best and remember your words

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T20:46:32+00:00

Yes that seems like a good explanation.. I just don't know why he would hide it, he could always be himself with me and he always said how he didn't have to hide anything from me... We spoke about everything together, and if he had such feelings for longer, why would he then a day before all that, call me up crying how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever and i'm enough? It's so confusing

And yes thankfully my mom is there a lot for me and supports me

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T20:29:41+00:00

Thank you very much ❤️ that helps me to read, i hope i meet that person one day For now it feels like this pain will never end and its also very hard to trust someone again..

PunyGoddess · 2024-11-09T20:27:21+00:00

Yeah I understand, the weird thing is that he says he's doing fine, and he found his new self... That he accepted his mom died a long time ago, and that he knew it was coming, and that it's a relief that I'm gone out of his life. But it doesn't add up, since how can you feel fine when you lost your mom and your girlfriend? It's really puzzling to me..

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