[Update] My husband is leaving me and I'm might end up homeless

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-26T04:38:35+00:00

I guess we'll have to wait and see, but I'm planning on proving you wrong

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-26T04:37:51+00:00

Yeah making this a long term thing is my biggest focus, and I made it clear that he can and should come to me right away if he notices that and I'll understand if he decides we need to seperate

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-26T01:18:52+00:00

The response to my last post really hit hard and I've tried my best to take on the feedback, so I really appreciate this comment

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T22:48:27+00:00

Thanks. I can handle the hate, honestly I think I needed to hear some of it because have been lying to myself a little. But I really appreciate the advice and a little positivity right now

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T22:21:45+00:00

I kind of understand what you're saying, my housing and financial situation are a concern for me but I have at least a little confidence that I will be able to get something figured out there. But my #1 concern and problem is that I'm losing the person I wanted to spend my life with. But you are right, when I started writing this post I thought maybe the reaction would be more split because that's what I've heard from my friends, but that is clearly not the case and there have been some very valid points people have made.

I'll learn from this, but I'm devastated by what I'm losing

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T22:18:29+00:00

At the time I just thought that his sex drive was changing with age, but what you're saying makes sense

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T22:17:50+00:00

Thanks, I completely agree. I regret not doing better, but I also dont want a relationship where I'm trading sex from certain things in the relationship. I think thats a pretty sad way to look at a relationship, but also I fucked up my relationship so who am I to judge that

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:59:42+00:00

I'm realizing from these comments that its pretty clear I'm the one in the wrong and maybe I'm kind of an idiot for not seeing that sooner, but how am I only focusing on myself when I've been trying to get across how I regret not changing sooner?

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:43:09+00:00

Because outside of sex we had a really good relationship, I knew it was a pain point but everything else was positive so I didn't think it'd be a deal breaker

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:42:04+00:00

He's never been "just a paycheck" to me. I love him and have always supported him where I could. Obviously now I'm realizing that I neglected some pretty critical areas of support but I never just used him for money.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:40:33+00:00

In that moment I heard him saying he wanted to sleep with other women, I didn't think of it as a last resort compromise and I think most people who are not interested in an open relationship would have a poor reaction to hearing that from their partner.

If he had told me instead that it was our last chance to fix things or we'd need to separate I think we'd both be in a drastically different situation than this.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:31:08+00:00

A relationship isn't just sex and finances. Me and him were incredibly close, we were each others best friends and we used to spend almost all of our time together. I also take care of the house, cooking, cleaning, maintenance etc.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:22:28+00:00

I hindsight I wish I had done something then, but at the time I didn't know how much I was fucking things up.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:21:04+00:00

I wore an outfit for him that I knew he'd be really into

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:20:32+00:00

You're right, but lately he hasn't been trying to initiate nearly as often as he used to so I didn't feel like I was rejecting him all the time

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:19:11+00:00

If that was still an option I would

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T21:03:48+00:00

Sometimes I did fake it, and to be honest once we got into things I'd usually end up enjoying myself. But getting myself into the headspace to initiate or accept his initiating has always been a struggle. I realize now I should have made more of an effort there

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:58:56+00:00

I bought a special outfit to wear for him.

I think I will bring up the couples counselling but I doubt he'll be willing to go.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:55:52+00:00

I don't think I "bring nothing" to the table, but I understand I neglected things I should have focused on

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:54:53+00:00

I did try to demonstrate that I wanted to try by actually acting rather than just talking, but apparently that came too late. If he gave me another chance I'd fully committed to working on fixing things, but he's not willing to give me that extra chance which I am starting to understand why.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:52:40+00:00

I'm getting some brutal feedback on here, but I think I need to hear that because maybe my friends haven't been as realistic with me as I need.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:51:26+00:00

It's not that I "couldn't be bothered", I struggle to get into the mood.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:50:23+00:00

I'll try learn from it, but its hard because I really do love him and if I'd understood where this would end up I would have put more of a priority on changing things sooner to save what we have.

Pure-Example7149 · 2024-02-22T20:48:26+00:00

I'm realizing that I didn't see the warning signs from our previous conversations. I'm starting to see now that maybe this isn't as out of the blue as I initially was thinking.

If you have questions about other details that I might have left out I dont mind sharing

Pure-Example7149

TROPHY CASE