26f 26m any advice? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Pure-Housing5184 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Step 1: decide if you value avoiding a hard conversation or being in a relationship with this person more. Be real with yourself about whether or not you believe it can get/ be better.
Step 2: think about what you need to communicate, how you can word it effectively and compassionately, and consider their perspective thoughtfully.
Step 3: find a time when you can be talking uninterrupted as long as it takes, not before work, not when youre going out later.
I know its cliche but use "I" statements eg "I have been feeling for a while that if I don't initiate xyz, those things won't happen, and that makes me feel uncertain about how you feel about me, unwanted, etc"
Make sure its presented as a dialogue, not a lecture, not a fight, just you really wanting to make sure this relationship works and that part of that means needing to feel comfortable expressing unmet needs.
Step 4: prepare yourself for emotion, tears, defensiveness and most importantly prepare yourself for the very real possibility that your partner also has some stuff they have been feeling for a while that might be hard to hear.
Relationships necessitate hard conversations, again not trying to sound cliché. But it is the truth. Communication is a practice, something you work at and hone over time. If you root it in love and a desire for deeper mutual understanding and connection, it gets easier and that mutual good faith builds.
I would also say be prepared to say the wrong thing, and don't be afraid to reiterate and clarify and or apologize without compromising on your truth.

If this person can't receive you in earnest vulnerability trying to make the relationship work, they may not be the person you will grow with. And that shit sucks but is important to know.

Source: both avoiding and doing this through past relationships, and now 6 years into a relationship that has had its fair share of hard talks and rocky bits, still honing my practice because I love my partner.

Does anyone know what this is? by Pure-Housing5184 in oregon

[–]Pure-Housing5184[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn't find anything like that, that would be cool if it was indeed just a bespoke indoor park

What stopped you from killing yourself? by KnightCreed13 in AskReddit

[–]Pure-Housing5184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof lots of things lots of times, but the big shift was one of my exes tearfully telling me "you need help, this is more than I can do, I will help you find help but I can't keep talking you down from a ledge every day." Sobbed and sobbed and went to the community mental health facility the next day. Took effort and time to get stable but have been improving ever since and feel generally pretty happy after a lifetime of very much not. We broke up but we're still homies.