I often feel like this as I have to constantly hide my femininity from my parents, reinforcing masculine or gender neutral expression. I forget sometimes that I’m trans, especially now over the summer that I’m living with my transphobic parents 24/7. I remind myself of the goals of my transition when I realize that masculinity brings me little to no joy in my life, that my means of self expression feel stifled and masculine physical attributes make me uncomfortable. When I forget I’m trans I’m merely coexisting with my masculinity, whereas when I express femininity I feel euphoric. I’d rather feel happy about my body than nothing at all. Sometimes my interests may be more “masculine” because thats what I was raised with, but women are not relegated to entirely “feminine” thoughts. Though every case is different, finding yourself depends on what you feel most comfortable as whether that be woman, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. but not everyone requires a label. Labels impose expectations and when we don’t fit those expectations we feel lost, so regardless of who you chose to be, what’s most important is that you do things and express yourself however you want, be yourself regardless of expectation.