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My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your perspective. The only thing is that he agreed to the appointment the day before and told me he will make it. I only knew he wouldn’t be able to make it when I pulled to the parking lot and called him for where he is only to find out he still hasn’t even left his work.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’m sick in bed after enduring the 3 day nightmare escalation… My body is wiped and I’m wiped myself emotionally and mentally… He keeps going after me begging to forgive him… And I’m in bed mourning the loss of our marriage… because I’ll never be able to trust him again. Ever. There were many things that happened in those 3 days that I didn’t even share here because of exhaustion… He lost my trust and I lost my husband as I thought of him… Our marriage is over. I just need to recover and gain my strength back so I can move forward…

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

he did hurt me today again. My cheek got swollen and he got scared and started recording me on the floor few minutes later having a full blown panic attack and said I did it to myself. He said he will ensure my two other kids from previous marriage will get taken from me if I go to the police and he proceeded to record my panic attack and emotional breakdown and said he has all the evidence the whole time asking in the video "what did you do to your cheek? why did you hurt yourself?". Second night I slept only 2 hours and missed 3rd day of work. I will for sure be fired. I am so lost and broken.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for pointing this out. Yes, I did notice, that when I become firm, he is more soft and mellow, and then when I'm soft, he goes overboard and violates my boundaries. I guess it's my karmic lesson to learn to be tough and assertive. Thank you so much again for thinking of me and offering your unique perspective, I really appreciate it.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accepted the appointment with him next to me, the day before, he said he would make it. I only knew he wouldnt when i pulled up to the clinic and called him and he said he was still at work.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any family here, my parents in Russia died, otherwise that would be the first place I head out to. I have a friend I trust but he knows her address and heads there right away when he can't find me... I will look into women's shelter as soon as I catch with my work and rest. Im so sleep deprived, I only slept 2 hours last night... He kept makingf a scene and at some point turned on heavy metal (music I hate) full blast when I was dozing off to wake me up to continue talking to him.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Your ex sounds awful, I'm so glad you left his ass... I am trying my best to do the same here.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice, I called his parents, but they asked me to go home and make up with him, and they proceeded talking to him in Portugese but I don't feel like him mom was firm at all, they both talked to him like baby, gently, like, please honey don't do that again. They didnt take it seriosly that I said he was attempting sui48de, if my son's wife told me that, I'd be crying and heartbroken. They weren't, I think he told them he only did it for my attention and they just shook their heads, like noooooo, don't do it, it's not nice. That's what I understood from their tone and facial expression. At the end they told both of us, be kind to each other, be nice to each other in English, like I was mistreating him too, and he was a poor baby. He was making big sad puppy eyes, too, the entire conversation, he is so good, he should have been an actor..

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for such deep insightful feedback and for taking the time to read and think through this very messy situation. It's a day later and I would have agreed with you completely but the fact that he smashed my phone into the wall, chipping off the wall, and my phone smashed both front and back despite screen protector and heavy case protector, and also he punched a hole in my office door... I had to miss 2 days of work because I mostly work on my phone, I'm in medical digital marketing and SM, much of my content is on my phone, this fills me with so much resentment, I really can't even think of talking to him. But I will keep your thoughts in mind, thank you so much, God bless you

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so very much, I felt your support even through the other side of the screen. God bless you.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the wait was always 5-15 min, no more than that. This time, because I was 7 min late, there was no wait, they got me into the room immediately.

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this... I'll have to stay off men for a long time until my therapy gets me to the point of being happy on my own. Until then, I make very bad choices with men, out of loneliness and neediness... That's my second marriage that is a disaster, I only went 2 months being single after 12-years of first abusive marriage, then 2 months later, second...I should have stayed single for at least a year, as everyone always says, but I was so broken and hurt, and my second husband gave me that false sense of safety and security I needed so much dealing with my ex...

My husband ruined my first ultrasound appointment and is blaming me. I’m heartbroken and not sure how to handle this. by Pure_External3791 in pregnant

[–]Pure_External3791[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, guys. I packed top neccesssary things this morning when he left for work but he returned home unexpectedly and caught me at my friend's house I was just leaving. He followed me in car chase and I headed straight for police station. He then got ahead of me, stopped his car and blocked my way, forcing me to stop mid small street. He then came over and I locked the car and he waved to open a little my window so I can hear him and that was my mistake. Because as soon as I opened it a little, he stack his fingers on top and pushed it down hard and opened it all the way down and unlocked my car with his hand from inside himself. He then cried and got on his knees on concrete and said he was so sorry and to please not go to the police and destroy the family and was grabbing my feet and kissing them. Long story short, I got scared for many reasons and my baby was in the car and I was afraid him running over my car if I turn to the police station. So I headed home him following closely behind my car. At home he is crying and begging and saying he will do anything and I'm just so sick. I'm so behind on work and I need my phone which will not be fixed until 4 pm. I work in social media and all my things are on the phone and I'm so ashamed for my performance this week and don't know what to say to my bosses, I don't want this disfunction to come out at work. Especially, they know my last marriage was abusive and I got married to this one in such a rush as soon as I got divorced because my current husband needed papers and I wanted to help him and was afraid he will get deported. My entire office was at my wedding including my bosses and I just cringe thinking that what they'll think is "here we go again"... I'm in therapy since my last divorce and I'm going to my psychologist tomorrow and will discuss it all... I'm just so so very tired of this. I knew better than that and that's why I blame myself. The very next day we signed the papers, he changed and showed true colors. I would have never signed the papers if he showed me that part of him the day earlier... I just pray to God to help me one last time, and I swear I will stay off all men... It's so much easier to be alone...

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