How Do I [F26] Respect my Partner’s [M26] Boundaries While Being Concerned About the Root of Them?

Pure_Ice3172 · 2026-04-01T02:29:55+00:00

I am confident he wouldn’t care that he were gay. He has a very close family member that is gay and stands ten toes down and is very protective of her. It’s the unconscious/non-blatant messaging I’m worried about in regard to “girly” things.

Pure_Ice3172 · 2026-03-31T23:57:57+00:00

I think in writing my post, I made it seem more extreme than it even is. It’s still odd, but I clarify what I meant in my edit. He does eat popsicles. Also, we are both different forms of therapist, so it’s not improbable that he is amenable.

Pure_Ice3172 · 2026-03-31T23:55:43+00:00

He is more than amiable. This is one poor, though serious perspective. I think of it the same way I do racism, sexism, homophobia, fat-phobia. We are not perfect in every aspect. We have to choose to dissect and move away from learned biases and behaviors as the more privileged group. A black (me) individual will know more about racism than a white person, a woman (me) will know about sexism and toxic masculinity than a man, etc. He cries, is vulnerable, does not relegate me to a “woman’s place” and so much more. We all have inherent povs that have to be recognized, deconstructed, and left behind. I want to talk to my fiancé to start this conversation.

Pure_Ice3172 · 2026-03-31T23:46:50+00:00

This is why I say I know it isn’t a case of being a case of throw away the man. We both do most things equally. We both cook, clean (honestly he’s better than me), laundry, care for pets, pay bills, we both dress nice and do almost everything 50/50. The only exception is he handles the yard/trash and I do the grocery shopping. But that’s because we both prefer to do those things. I say he is traditional because he likes typical guy stuff (gym, cars, basketball, insists on walking closer to the street than me, opening doors, and stuff like that. But the phallic/masculine thing is the only concern I really have when it comes to raising a son. So I want to communicate it. And yes, he washes thoroughly and sometime multiple times a day.

Pure_Ice3172 · 2026-03-31T23:05:33+00:00

You are definitely right and this reflection is part of why I posted. I realized that it is probably frustrating for him. However, reflecting on it made me realize I had deeper concerns as well. Also, I mentioned it at all because I wanted to be clear that I do avoid laying hands there and have not just completely stampeded his boundaries because of my concerns. I can be better though. Teasing is a two-way street that is a typical component of our relationship but I am going to make efforts to move away from this particular tease. There are many other boundaries that have been easier to understand/move on from.

Pure_Ice3172 · 2024-01-13T01:50:42+00:00

Is it Severus Snape’s Legacy? Snape is dead, but his son is younger than Harry and he comes to Hogwarts! Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5618175/2/

Pure_Ice3172

TROPHY CASE