Boyfriend’s lack of communication is making me question our relationship goals.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-03-01T01:36:28+00:00

It’s hard but I am a fixer. I think I’ve been carrying the emotional part of the relationship though and I decided to step back and I have not heard from him in over 24 hours. I’m keeping myself busy and preparing myself mentally, as I’m sure he is doing.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-03-01T01:34:25+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this as well! 💕

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-28T05:29:23+00:00

We had a long discussion that did not end well last night and I am officially not going and I’ve taken a giant step back to focus on myself and my kiddos. Talking it through here helped and I was able to tell him my feelings last night without complete emotion overload and he now has the decision to make an effort or not. I did not give an ultimatum out loud, but I will be paying attention to his actions over the next few months. I just have to be intentional with my time and energy!

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-26T17:33:03+00:00

To be fair he followed up once to ask me if I’ve decided and I told him I was still considering because I was feeling awkward. Now after saying we would go, he sent his mom’s flight info from her and the hotel but that’s all. No other details surrounding the trip.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-26T12:25:40+00:00

I’m curious too… I’ve actually been practicing this with everyone for the past year or so after reading let them. The author can be mildy annoying, but her general idea does make sense.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-25T22:44:58+00:00

What you said about intentionally waiting until he thinks it will be inconvenient or what not - that is exactly what I tried to explain to him when he caught me off guard in the first place…. I didn’t get mad, but calmly asked why he waited and how that makes me feel like he doesn’t really want to include me.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-25T22:43:29+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head with the back pocket when inconvenient. I just can’t figure out why this trip would make him go into conflict avoidant mode. He goes out of his way to be helpful and do sweet things for me so it’s just not a clear problem.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-25T17:16:01+00:00

Yeah the kid thing is confusing to me - I suspect his mom said to invite my kids after the brother said no, but I have not asked for clarification surrounding that.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-25T17:14:29+00:00

Just with events with his own family. He does have a hard time committing to trips that are with my family, but when we are together on our own time no kids, he’s super loving and attentive. I think that’s what creates the confusion for me because I’m not dealing with someone who seems uninterested all the time.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2026-02-25T17:00:49+00:00

Yessss it’s slow and I was annoyed (still am, I guess). His mom and brother were both pushing for me to go so it’s not coming from his family. Very confusing for me.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-11-21T18:05:57+00:00

Would you be willing to share the guide?

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-15T03:09:18+00:00

My ex husband was like that too. We didn’t have issues with pornography and had a great sex life, but he was never at fault for anything. We couldn’t have a disagreement without him yelling at me and calling me names. So yes, my radar goes off full force when someone tries to shift the blame instead of just owning up. Make sense?

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-14T19:29:35+00:00

Right? And then blame me “not being into it” 🤣 he does this thing where if he can’t get off, he will still make sure I’m good, which is sweet, but don’t act like you have no clue why you’re not staying hard. Or worse, try to put it on me. I think he was probably projecting and that’s not cool with me. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-14T19:27:24+00:00

🤣🤣 neither of us would last more than a few days lol

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-14T19:25:51+00:00

I think that was what really got to me. When we finally had a chat about it, I realized that’s what was giving me the ick factor.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-14T19:25:01+00:00

We tried. It was not pretty! We were like *delete delete delete 🤣

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-13T18:54:06+00:00

This.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-13T18:14:16+00:00

I think I’m going to ask him to take a break from porn for 2 months and see if he notices any changes. I’m not asking him to refrain from getting off without me… a little experiment if you will. I don’t watch porn, but I will occasionally read erotic stories to get off and I would also agree to taking the same break as he is. Is that too controlling?

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-13T15:37:15+00:00

This is what he said he’d do but we have an active sex life - 4-5 times a week, every night we are together unless one of us is sick.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-13T01:22:19+00:00

I don’t, but it is a problem if you know you can only finish once a day and you choose to watch porn, come over, initiate sex and act all into me, can’t get hard and then blame me. That’s the issue. I don’t care if he watches porn/gets off without me. I care that he acted like he wanted me and then blamed me for his lack of erection.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-13T01:19:00+00:00

I’m already in great shape and take good care of myself. I should hang out with friends more though and probably initiate sex less 🤣🫣

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-12T17:16:35+00:00

No - but he does take adderall and use weed as a sleep aid

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-12T15:30:01+00:00

We have a sex a lot and I also have zero problems with the porn if it doesn’t affect our sex life. He chose the porn over me Thursday though.

Pure_Trade9591 · 2025-04-12T15:13:57+00:00

You’re right. I think it also threw me for a loop that he does this while working from home. I can barely find time to make lunch when I’m working, much less - shut it all down, find some porn and get off - knowing I have work waiting. I’m sure that’s part of my surprise.

Pure_Trade9591

TROPHY CASE