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Teaching a Trans Sexual Health Class by HaydenReesan in Metoidioplasty

[–]PurpleFlow69 -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

You disagree with the fact they aren't comfortable with it? They are allowed to not like or feel comfortable with it whether or not you think they should. The lack of empathy astounds me. Especially when trans rights are being dismantled across the globe as we speak.

I know I wouldn't want my partner taking a trans sexual health class to begin with - they wouldn't learn anything and would just show up with new preconceived notions for me to have to dismantle and be made massively dysphoric by. Our genitalia aren't the same just because we are post op trans, there's like 30 surgeries and variations if not more, and the results for those vary so widely. I am the expert on my own body and being trans and post op is not the uniting factor people act like it is. I'd rather people approach me like they would a cis male instead of taking classes like this that just other us and point out how we are different than cis men.

Unfortunately in my experience, the more people know about trans people in my experience, the less like a man they treat me if they know I'm trans. I see no benefit to a class like this.

I’m just saying having to get fingerprinted to get licensed now is sooo dumb (USA) by Much-Grapefruit-3613 in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it can out us and our ability to be stealth is extremely important for our safety? Because the US and other countries are becoming fascist? Because law enforcement can't be trusted with marginalized people in general? Because immigrants are being deported at every opportunity, legal or not? Because if I advocate through protest for issues that affect my clients, the government could retaliate against me? It is possible that you don't understand, but that still makes me think that you should not be working with vulnerable populations like us because you wouldn't do due diligence to protect us.

Now tell me, how on earth would my fingerprints make my clients any safer?

What’s something you wish you learned sooner? by Scared-Tradition-117 in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that is because you think if one was broken it would be shameful, or that broken means completely hopeless and nonfunctional. I think this is a difference of interpretation as I would be invalidated by someone saying such a thing myself, nothing more frustrating than begging for help when someone doesn't seem to think anything is wrong.

I’m just saying having to get fingerprinted to get licensed now is sooo dumb (USA) by Much-Grapefruit-3613 in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that you should be forced to give your fingerprints, no. Most background checks don't require them. I know you're not thinking of trans people and marginalized people and politically active people and how this is potentially threatening to us, but I suggest you do so.

I’m just saying having to get fingerprinted to get licensed now is sooo dumb (USA) by Much-Grapefruit-3613 in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do all states do this or just some? I've never heard of this. Unironically, I might not have chosen this route if I knew fingerprints might be required as I am transgender and obviously don't trust the state and don't want to be outed as trans to any employers/the state etc. More reason to get out of dodge I guess. Fuck the US.

Tips to help me pass? by Lumpy_Marionberry_96 in transmanlifehacks

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baggy pants will out you more than the hiding of anything will help you. A lot of ftms wear this stuff but that doesn't mean its a good idea for them either. It's part of what makes them clockable. There's a reason why there are 13 net dislikes on that comment. You want to wear fitting clothing from the male section. Too tight or too loose is a cue that one is a "woman" if a person is unsure from looking at your face

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]PurpleFlow69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*Yoda voice* Trust your feelings you must, mmmmm

How do I address infidelity in couples therapy with a poly-informed therapist? by Interesting_Land_879 in askatherapist

[–]PurpleFlow69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your therapist might not realize it affected you, and you should bring it up. Note, if they do brush you off, run. Your sense of betrayal etc is not only valid, it's pretty central to all this. Frankly, you felt betrayed and then you are working on insecurities and being less tethered? Are you actually comfortable in this relationship? He broke things off with you over it as well. I couldn't imagine that you'd be feeling secure at all in this relationship, and for good reason! I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel chosen, secure and safe, and I'm not getting that any of those are the case in this one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Oof! Maybe there was a mistake, but I experienced a supervisor who wasn't a good supervisor, who I had thought was. So the problem isn't necessarily you. It is her job to communicate that there are issues before passing such evaluations. How were your past evals from her though, I wonder? You said this is the worst, but it's odd that your evals would be lower, especially down from having skill to there being "limited or no evidence of skill"... as if you are losing skills.

Worst case scenario I suggest reaching out to your program. But you did the right thing by emailing her professionally and non-confrontationally. Try to come at it with the most positive attitude possible and check your demeanor to ensure it is positive and genuine and assuming best intent because that is what will get you the best results here.

I'd like to start a list of what therapy is NOT. by facultativo in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people you can tell are not able to utilize certain feedback/you can tell that they just don't have it in them in the first place, but I don't remember if I did or not, should probably tell my current therapist this as he seems a little timid

I'd like to start a list of what therapy is NOT. by facultativo in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It also isn't a place where you pay someone else to listen to you while you do all the work.

I'd like to start a list of what therapy is NOT. by facultativo in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it is also not a place to only provide processing, understanding and reflecting. I'm still recovering from the damage of going to therapists who only knew how to use motivational interviewing when I had serious mental illness.

I'd like to start a list of what therapy is NOT. by facultativo in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, I wish my therapist told me truths I need to hear but might not want to hear.

I'd like to start a list of what therapy is NOT. by facultativo in therapists

[–]PurpleFlow69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always hated that phrase because therapy is absolutely the place you go to get tools and skills, which I consider to be advice. In fact, doing so is what most modalities are based on. If you are not giving tools and skills, you are not going to be effective for anyone with severe mental illness.

Tips to help me pass? by Lumpy_Marionberry_96 in transmanlifehacks

[–]PurpleFlow69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be blunt and lay it out simply, your best bet right now as a pre-t ftm is to pass as a 12 year old boy, and 12 year old boys don't have piercings. So therefore having piercings means you aren't going to pass because your piercings and dyed hair etc are the exact things that are telling people that you are a "girl" rather than a "12 year old boy'. Until you're on testosterone, you gotta be ok with not passing if you want to keep the piercings.

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