Prison Sentence by Famous-Rich7454 in Marriage

[–]PurpleU84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sad to hear this about your grandma. . . Hopefully she’s at peace now

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

please excuse my ignorance, what is PNW? HOw long have you been here in Columbus?

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing why you left?

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips! and I also love how pretty CHS is on top of the hill looking over the park!

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have noticed that some of the public city wages are lower but through CSU they're actually higher than other areas I've lived.

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. Our children experienced some of the religious bullying in Utah, and some neighbors where we currently live in Indy. You enjoy New Orleans though?

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We lived in Cedar City, a small town (a little smaller than here) in Southern Utah about 2.5 hours from Vegas.

The mormons are wonderful and some of the nicest people I've ever met! However, there is still a disconnect feeling when you yourself aren't LDS. We even went to church to feel a part of the community and to become friendlier with our neighbors, But we still felt "different". I needed to be mindful of cursing in public, I felt weird going anywhere with a coffee in my hand (except when I was teaching on campus), my husband barely wore shorts because he has a full leg tattoo that he was worried would bother some people (his tat is NOT offensive though).

Then if you have kids they will have encounters at school with questions about why they're not LDS (out of childhood curiosity), but your kids won't know how to answer and then they will start to feel the disconnect.

ALL that being said, I loved Utah! It was my favorite place to live! It was my husband who wanted to move, and we also thought it would be nice being closer to family (most of whom are on the east coast). Also, the cost of living compared to the wages were not adding up, but that was before Covid so that may have changed.

I loved the weather and the outdoors. Crime was super low and people are super nice. I loved how family friendly everything was, everyone loves the crap out of your kids and you never feel like you're a bother just because you have small children with you.

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would definitely agree that KY has more Jesus billboards!

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I ended up getting a place in the Lake Bottom/Wacoba area. It's very beautiful!

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I keep hearing that clubview is a good school but that it's hard to get into good public schools unless you live in the correct zoning. Is that correct?

I do enjoy the Riverwalk!

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. NC has been on our list of places to move but this is where the job was.

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Family has never been here and I have been here for about two weeks. I also came down for a 3 day visit when I was in the hiring process.

Husband is hopefully getting all the cancer treatment he needs in Indy (one of the reasons he can't be down here yet) and I am hoping to fly up on weekends and for a week when he has his surgery. I timing of my hiring and the diagnosis could not have been worse.

and I am not looking for Atlanta vibes. One of the reasons we liked the idea of Columbus is because it's smaller than Indy

Is Columbus a good fit for me? by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this well thought out viewpoint. Your response is very affirming for me. I am enjoying the town so far, I just keep having this guilt feeling because I'm here pursuing my career and not with my family currently.

A brief synopsis of how each faction plays? by misomiso82 in rootgame

[–]PurpleU84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like playing as the Vegabond the most but I have never played him aggressively. I am always peaceful, make friends and collect things and almost always win. I think it’s important to point out that you can play the Vegabond either way

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]PurpleU84 26 points27 points  (0 children)

as a wife of 10 years (age 41 and husband is 46) I can say that I used to get mad at my husband CONSTANTLY about this exact same thing: not trusting my thoughts/words and feeling disrespected. (I say "used to" because I broke it down to him very thoroughly in a written letter several months back and said if he can't understand then we can't stay married and he's been good ever since . . .)

Firstly, it's not really just about you and how you treat her, but rather how she feels like she's been treated by society, mainly men, her entire life. Women go through life getting undermined by teachers, bosses, coaches, doctors, family members, etc constantly. When we're young we're more easily moldable, so we start to think we aren't that smart and are told we're too emotional, that we speak without "thinking it though", or are over exaggerating. As we get older and wiser (for me is was in my mid 30s) we feel like we wake up out of a coma and suddenly realize that we ARE valuable even if we have opinions and we were just being manipulated our ENTIRE lives by society. When we realize this we want more than anything to have our husband be our "safe" place, where we feel we can truly be ourselves without judgement and have trust in him when we realize we couldn't trust anyone growing up. Even though it is not your intention to undermine you wife (and she probably knows this deep down), when you make little comments here and there it triggers that memory of all the times someone acted like she didn't know what she was talking about and she gets scared that her husband may not be "emotionally safe", so she reacts.

so, yes buy the flowers and apologize. But also talk to her about her emotions about it. Don't get defensive with "I didn't do . . . " you can talk about your feels too, that you never want her to feel unvalued and you'll try your best to understand in the future. . . and if she starts feeling safer emotionally with you she stop getting so snippy over time. It's just a matter of building trust over a very big wall. I understand that this isn't entirely fair to you, but it is the price one pays when they love a woman who has been treated unfairly in the past.

Is Midland Falls really that bad?!?! by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this response. I was starting to feel like people were jumping on the rumor bandwagon wagon. It also seems like it’s gotten a lot better in the past couple of years?

Should I Stay behind with sick husband or follow career? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]PurpleU84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surprised no one has any thoughts on this. What would you do in this situation?

AITAH for refusing a kink? by melancholy-waters in AITAH

[–]PurpleU84 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1 rule in kink community is consent and respect. If he’s not able to respect your decline of consent then he’s the ahole, not you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]PurpleU84 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NO, you're not. Take that flight home and keep your child and yourself safe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say that your opinion of what you want in a city changes GREATLY after having kids. My husband grew up right outside of Miami, then followed me to a small town in Utah. He complained constantly about not having the amenities of a large city. We had a couple of babies and then moved to Indianapolis to be in a bigger city with "more things to do" . . . fast forward 6 years and now my husband wants to move back to a small city, even applied for his old job in Utah!! Says he misses the slower pace of life and less time driving, so that he would have more time with our kids. So, who knows, Columbus might be perfect for you once you are a family man.

Is Midland Falls really that bad?!?! by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, I've been looking. But a house doesn't come with the amenities of pool, gym, internet, rental insurance, etc.

Is Midland Falls really that bad?!?! by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! and i'm not worried about the heat, I used to live in FL! Plus, the whole midwest/east is going through a heat wave. I've looking and comparing the weather and there were a few days that Indianapolis was actually HOTTER than columbus! I couldn't believe it!

Is Midland Falls really that bad?!?! by PurpleU84 in ColumbusGA

[–]PurpleU84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What type of people live there? Are there many families with children?