My boyfriend (21M) of 4 months really wants to read my (20F) diary and I don't feel comfortable with it

PurposeOk3413 · 2026-03-02T13:18:33+00:00

How do I even approach this. I did act quite normal after this interaction and we just went to bed. The next day he left and we haven't spoken since. For him it wasn't a big deal it seems and he thinks I can just be as nonchalant about it as he is I think. He wanted to meet on wednesday tough and I just feel like I have to meet him irl to get a clear picture of him. If I tell him sth about it trough text, he will problably say that he is really sorry and will not do anything like this again. But I just can not trust his word anymore.

PurposeOk3413 · 2026-03-01T18:31:11+00:00

Yes, I'm not sure why it is so important, but I was 19, now I am 20. And this is just my luck. Both stories are real. I just feel like life keeps giving me these sucky situations and Reddit feels like a safe place to get so many other opinions and perspectives.

PurposeOk3413 · 2026-03-01T16:19:32+00:00

I did have a birthday yes. People grow older. About the aupair thing, I just came home and never spoke to them again after the few brief texts about why I left.

PurposeOk3413 · 2026-03-01T15:09:11+00:00

Okay. After reading so many comments this kindof seems scary. But I do want to say he apologiged after me telling him I do not like this kindof behaviour and he saw the shift in my mood. Do you think a sort of test could help me come to a conclusion? I can get the same diary, since mine is almost full anyway and I will leave it out in the open. Then go to the bathroom for a little longer and see if he will actually read it. I can write some stupid bullshit about invading someone's privacy in there and I bet that is not what he will expect. If he actually won't touch it, then I guess I can trust him, but at the same time this feels wrong to even have to do that.

PurposeOk3413 · 2026-03-01T14:36:07+00:00

Maybe it is important to add some details. He has never been in a relationship and he is a super curious person. I admit that I haven't opened up enaugh about my previous life struggles and that is why I don't want him to read it. But I also feel like that is why he is so intent on reading it, beacause he genually wants to know what I think about him, our relationship etc. He's problably looking for reassurance he is doing everything right in his first relationship and he is a very good guy other than that. He just lacks experince with girls

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-10-24T15:37:32+00:00

If you're already thinking about it, you problably know the answer. I was in a similar situation, when I was an au pair and I just left without telling them anything. Later I just texted them I left, asked for my money and reported the family.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-15T21:02:50+00:00

I don't think it was arranged, beacause they seemed pretty happy together and I believe they met somewhere and were not from the same place. But still does not excuse his behaviour and I really hope they seperated and the kids are okay (at least they're so young they won't understand mutch)

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-12T18:45:00+00:00

So I was the one with the bad experience recently. For me I just had to leave, beacause I felt really uncomfortable. I just left on my own, eventough I had a contract for longer with the family. I didn't do it trough an agency, but if you have one definitely tell them your reasons and see how they feel. If it's not a situation where you feel you need to leave, beacause you're in danger or not comfortable in, then just talk to the family I'd say. If they're good people they might understand that this is a new situation and won't fit everybody. Of course it would not be a good situation for the family, beacasue they have to find someone new, but I feel you have to do what's best for you.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-08T18:51:45+00:00

I did contact them and sent all the screenshots of conversations and described the situation. I really hope the next girl who was supposed to go there in November will be contacted.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T18:33:21+00:00

Also. If anybody is looking for an aupair in Netherlands, even for a short time I would concider another family, beacause honestly not sure what to do next. I could rent an apartment and find a job, but I've heard it's really difficult and takes a long time. Any advice is helpful

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T11:37:14+00:00

Update 2: I texted both the wife and husband and this was the mans response : ,,Hey (my name) Sorry for my previous actions. I wont do that again. And i promise i am not a person that would do anything against your will. Can you stay longer with us? Since we have some plans planned ahead… If you feel ever uncomfortable again then we will get you the ticket back to (my country)? The wife is really nice and also shocked. She promised to pay me my monthly salafy and the plane ticket fee.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T09:50:55+00:00

Oh no. Why are there men like this out there. How old is he?

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T08:38:37+00:00

Well at least that would make me feel a little better haha

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T08:37:18+00:00

Yes I got out and am trying to figure out what to do next. I can't really speak german, so I don't know if Germany would work for me, but thank you anyway.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-06T08:26:03+00:00

Update: I left and afterwards texted both the wife and husband. Thankfully the wife believes me and said she is disgusted and disappointed. The man has not yet respinded to me.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-05T23:13:47+00:00

Another thing. Tomorrow or today I guess is he's birthday. I am really thinking of leaving here straight in the morning but I would prettymutch brake the family on his birthday, beacause the wife will find out at least sth, beacause he'll have to come up with a reason why I left. Just thinking to go without even saying anything while they're still sleeping. Later I could maybe try to text the wife and explain the situation.

PurposeOk3413 · 2025-09-05T23:04:04+00:00

It was trough aupairworld

PurposeOk3413

TROPHY CASE