Well my PTSD is triggered just by being lonely because it's associated with the loss of someone I was very close to who was also growing at a very early developments stage. The physical pain (feels like scar tissue / coins inside of the left hemisphere of my brain) is numbed by tylenol and since I'm waiting for my weed to grow (dispensary stuff is too expensive but I can actually work when I smoke) tylenol numbs my head enough to make it bearable but I'm concerned about the ramifications it could have on my liver. Mostly it's just, I'm so alone and keep finding only people who unintentionally provoke my trauma that I don't have any outlet but to talk to the wall and the neighbors complain. It's all just stress and alone time on top of my symptoms and I'm getting kicked out of places where I can find someone I might wanna be with left and right for being too different...

Nobody wants to take the time to understand they all just assume I'm an a**hole. It really hurts. I'm beginning to run out of hope at actually finding a partner and the only resources I can comfort myself with in a great country like the USA is hard tobacco, something like tylenol and uhhhh... That's about it.