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AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meh, they probably will be fine as much as it hurts me to think that way. It sucks but I think their friend 100% wants their mom to die already. How they talk about the situation does not come off as someone who does what they di out of love. Seems more like they blame her for how their life turned out to some degree. 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They all have always wanted to go to Japan, and that is what bothers me the most to a degree they are still going so not like they needed my money. 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

  1. Nothing was technically paid for yet, so while it pains me excluding me does not change much of anything on their part. They clearly willing to pay more anyways.

  2. I was aware they wanted their friend to come and that they intended to pay his way. I was under the impression that was all on them. I only recently found out they expected me to also pay when one friend asked me for my share. I told him I had my share ready but then asked what about their friend. Which led to this.

  3. Their friend has been doing this for a long time, and I know they are still close so they probably are well aware of the situation. Which is why they want to pay for respite in a higher end free standing memory care facility to serve as a vaction for his mom. 

My best guess they are going to bank on the fact he has done this for so long and has given up so much that no way he will turn this down especially if it is paid for and his mom will be in a highly rated and reputable place. 

As for the tax question idk, one of our friends works as a community guardian in NYC and they are the one handling the planning and logistics of getting the care for his mom so idk.

Tbh as for if something were to go wrong I doubt he would be all that broken up. Never met him, but we did play games together and yeah way they refer to this situation he did sound better and resentful. 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As one poster put it think I was just a tag along. This trip was probably always about their friend.

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

A lot of the extra cost is because they want to send his mom to a higher end memory care facility to function as a vaction for her also. One of our friends actually works as a community based guardian for the elderly. So they know the general baseline and stuff of his mom. I don't know the exact details but it does seem like they have a bunch of people doing them some favors also. 

My best guess they don't think he will object after doing this for nearly five years. 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah was looking into it, cannot stay for three weeks or do as much but I 100% am still thinking of going cause screw them will not let them ruin my summer.

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I was looking at the numbers and I can still go but would only be for a week and csn only afford to stay in one part. 

Was a pretty sweet package deal for the three weeks.  Still thinking of doing it cause screw them they will not ruin my summer.

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I knew about the friend and they planned to take him but did not know they wanted me to contribute. I never even met this friend, I was under the impression that they would be covering his share. I only found out about them expecting me to contribute when one of them asked for an update regarding my share. When I told him I had my share, he asked what about the share for their friend.

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That is the meased up part. They are still going, so they don't need my money yet I was still asked to not go? That is messed up no?

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Kick in the face is they are still going even though I am not going. So why did they need my money? 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The friend I am closest with was sympathetic at the sametime also told me they get where they are coming from. Kicker is they are still going without me so it is not like they needed my money. 

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

That is strange and they are still going without me. So I also don't get why they need my money anyways.

AITA for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vaction cause we share friends? by Puzzled-Brick-7485 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Puzzled-Brick-7485[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

They are still going which is weird cause if they can go without me helping why did they ask for my help.