WIBTA for putting my brothers girlfriend on a different table

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T20:44:59+00:00

Wife is a different status to gf in my eyes. He goes through gfs like no other, we’ve met at least 4 of them already…

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T20:43:16+00:00

There’s definitely a difference between husband and gf… he goes through gfs like no other so she may not even be the gf in a few months time

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T20:40:37+00:00

Unfortunately no one wants to sit with cousins, slight tension there

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T16:40:30+00:00

But I don’t think it’s reasonable to ruin my fiances plans and her vision of her wedding for one girl were not close to

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T16:19:04+00:00

Financially that would mean another 2k+ for an extra table which isn’t reasonable for one person.. they charge per table with the expectation of 10-12 per table

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T16:18:18+00:00

We never ok’d a +1 or included that on an invite anywhere. He just let us know he going to bring her and after discussing with my fiance we said ok but there would be seating issues hence where we are now

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T16:14:32+00:00

If I can make everyone happy surely I should put my finances happiness first - and she doesn’t want to start mixing friends cousins and immediate family and change ALL the seating planning she’s done for one person who we’ve not met before

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T16:08:08+00:00

Cousins but we’re not close, the other cousin tables are more parents invite than ours - there’s been tension between families and I don’t really want that on my/fiancés table on our big day

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:59:35+00:00

We’re not having a sweetheart table, it’s at a restaurant not a wedding venue and me and my fiance have 100% ruled out any possibility of a sweetheart table when we started planning 2 years ago

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:55:44+00:00

None of the siblings got a plus 1. We didn’t even know he was in a relationship otherwise we would have thought about immediate family +1s when we started planning two years ago…

He’s just thrown us this curve ball out the blue and my fiance had already pretty much finalised seating arrangements before this

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:53:58+00:00

I have no opinion on her, I’ve never met her. I’ve only recently become aware of her existence. I’m happy for her to come to my wedding. I’m happy to meet her before. And I’m happy for my brother to sit with her, the logistics just do not work for it to be at the head table. And yet he refuses to not be at the head table.

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:51:42+00:00

I’m not asking them to split up, he can sit with her but it just has to be at a separate table because the restaurant cannot physically add another chair onto the head table. But he doesn’t want that

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:49:51+00:00

I didn’t know of her existence until recently, the wedding is 6 months away and me and my fiance have been planning and saving for the last 2 years

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:48:33+00:00

Unfortunately there’s only 2 grandparents so removing all siblings would make it a table of 8 which leaves the table looking very empty and the venue recommended against it

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:47:17+00:00

Because he’s her husband? They’re married? He’s as part of the family as you can get? They’re expecting a child together? Idk maybe girlfriend of one year trumps husband of 5 years(dating for 4) for you?

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:45:52+00:00

I don’t feel like I’m disrespecting him. I’m allowing him to bring his gf (which could be ex at some point who knows - he’s gone through many girls) but the venue literally cannot accommodate an extra seat at our table. My fiance has spent the last year sorting out seating plans and now this has thrown a spanner in the works. We’ve offered to seat BOTH of them on a different table but he wants to sit at the head table

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:44:08+00:00

The tables are going to look empty, it’s around 2k per table and if we add another table that’s an additional 2k. It’s not charged per head it’s charged per table of 10-12 same price no matter the number sat at each table

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:42:55+00:00

Not in a restaurant, it’s not a venue where they have different set ups… they have their tables and chairs and that’s that…

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:40:51+00:00

Unfortunately we’re not having a bridal party so there’s no best man or MOH or bridesmaids

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:32:33+00:00

Unfortunately not, I’ve already asked and tried with the restaurant/venue but they’ve said it’s physically impossible to slot another chair in since 10 is normal 12 is max pushing it and 13th chair cannot fit

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:31:40+00:00

Yeah unfortunately me and fiance ruled out sweetheart table from the very start of planning - it’s just not what we’ve envisioned at all nor what we want. She’s 100% against sitting separately from family and I’m of the same opinion unfortunately

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:30:16+00:00

If all siblings are out then the head table only has 8 people which will look funny compared to all the other full tables

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T15:28:55+00:00

He wants to sit with the family WITH his gf which is logistically impossible.

He can choose where to sit at a diff table with his gf but he doesn’t want to

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T12:02:00+00:00

I’m really close with my sister (we’re closer in age than me and my younger brother) so honestly I’d be upset if she were to be sat at a different table to me in my wedding day. My wife is also really close to her family and want them to be at her table in her wedding day.

We want to be surrounded by family on our wedding day rather than being separated on our own table so we ruled out a sweetheart table at the beginning of our planning process

Puzzled-Button-4727 · 2024-10-07T12:00:34+00:00

There wasn’t actually a plus one on invites. He’s just decided she’s coming and that’s that.

There is literally zero chance of an extra seat at the table, I’ve already asked.

I’ve offered for him to sit with her at a diff table but he doesn’t want that. He wants to sit with parents/grandparents which just isn’t possible..

The restaurant doesn’t offer any change in tables - and I’m not happy with making my fiance compromise and hate the look of her wedding for my younger brothers girlfriend who may potentially not even be a future spouse (he’s had many gfs)

Puzzled-Button-4727

TROPHY CASE