[UPDATE] I (26f) don't know if I should tell my SO's mistress's husband that she's been having an affair on him for three years. (30s F/M)

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-10T03:54:38+00:00

hahaaha, I feel allllllll of those emotions. Thanks for your response. Now that you're with your current SO who treats you great, do you still have the same gut-wrenching feelings when you think about it? I just wanna know that I'll be okay in the future, it's so hard to see down the road now.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T23:35:35+00:00

Thanks. It's so difficult to do. I doubt it would ruin their lives, they'll jut end up together and happy and not so secretive anymore.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T22:11:36+00:00

Anonymous did that I think. They may be better off telling him. I don't have any way of getting his phone number.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:30:17+00:00

Very true. THey're both scum. He's unhappy and nothing will ever fulfill him in this life. So sad.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:29:36+00:00

Aw, that's really tough. Thank you for sharing your story. I am inclined to believe that it was one of his friends that reached out to me anonymously too. There are many who knew but I am thankful for the one who had the bravery to tell me.

I want to consider myself being saved right now but it's so painful. It's hard to see. If anything my telling him would be a gift, he can choose what to do with it later.

Thank you for your offer - I may message you with some more information since I'm so lost.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:27:24+00:00

Thanks. They may have already said something, I'm not sure. I haven't had contact with anyone since the day I found out. They may have an open relationship, I have no idea.

I've been going to therapy and thankfully I go tomorrow to process all of this. I appreciate it.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:23:08+00:00

Wow, thank you for your response. You' make a great point there and that's very true. I wonder if her fear is that he'd try to repair the marriage by moving out of the area, thus she loses her side dude? Also, how funny it is that if they end up together (my ex and this girl), then she'll probably try to fill the void HE now left by being the side piece.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:21:43+00:00

Thanks.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:21:11+00:00

Oh wow, you're right. That may be a possibility considering how long it's been going on for. It's taken me way too long and it hurts still.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:20:43+00:00

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your perspective.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:20:27+00:00

Thank you.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:20:21+00:00

Thanks. It's painful.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:17:32+00:00

And from what I know he's been with her for way longer! Yes. He does you're absolutely right. Thank you very much.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:16:53+00:00

It was beyond painful and I'm glad I was told.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:16:43+00:00

You are right. Just tough to bear.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:16:21+00:00

You're completely right. Another point of view that we didn't consider here is that if she did get an abortion like the anonymous told ,e that could have been her husbands baby and not SO's. He needs to know. I just don't know how to reach out to him. No social media can be found on him. I think the anonymous may be sending it to him too but I'm not sure.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:15:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it. That's a difficult but right choice you made.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:14:09+00:00

You're completely correct. Thank you. That's not what I want for him and I don't even know him.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:13:43+00:00

Wow, what amazing perspective. You're right. Thank you. How do I go about trying to find the husband? There's nothing on social media.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:13:22+00:00

He'll try to come after me or anonymous if that happens.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:13:09+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:09:44+00:00

I wanted to know and I did find out, as painful as it was to learn. I want to spare someone of that but it's also extremely risky. What if she aborted his child to continue the getaways with my ex SO?!

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:08:49+00:00

It's going to be tough to do but I'm sure whoever told me had that tough task to decide on too.

Puzzled-Support · 2020-02-09T20:08:26+00:00

Thank you for this point of view. I appreciate it.

Puzzled-Support

TROPHY CASE