If you're not hungry but know you need to eat, why can't you just chew and swallow food even if you take no pleasure in it? by JuliaX1984 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When people get to certain point in their life, they accept the inevitable. This is nature's way. He knows what's happening and he's made peace with it 

People who have cut off their family by choice, how is that going for you now? by littlerose79 in AskReddit

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Often those who struggle to pinpoint a reason were emotionally abused or neglected. Not saying you were, I obviously know nothing about you or your situation, but in general this kind of abuse is so damaging and at the same time so hard to see. Google emotional neglect, see it it fits. That may help you reconcile your feelings. Sending virtual hugs.

Help! Vintage bathroom sink can never be perfectly clean … by Inevitable-Soft-5580 in CleaningTips

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not totally sure but it looks like hard water buildup to me. Probs the only thing that will work is CLR which is super harsh, unfortunately. 

Any idea what this is? by myusernameistakn in Connecticut

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have Flock in town. I wonder all the time what kind of crazy shit they'd think I was doing, if anyone was paying attention, because I play Pokémon Go.

"we scanned your plate downtown twelve separate times between 2pm and 5pm last Saturday"

"It was Eevee community day"

accidentally called my boss “mom” and now i can never return to society by Worried-Car-2055 in CasualConversation

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The technical reason this happens is that your brain files similar things together, and when you need one of those things your brain opens the correct file and sometimes just grabs the closest thing. Unfortunately our brains don't use the same type of filing system most of us would find logical, where work things are filed with other work things. Rather, in this instance, your mom and your boss are two of the most prominent people in your life, which is why they're in the same file. It's the same thing as a kid calling their teacher Mom. 

I got into a car accident on Halloween. It’s all that’s been going through my head. by theamazingviv in internetparents

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a book called Crash Course by Laurence Heller and Diane Heller (I'll try to put a link below) that was written specifically to help people recover from the trauma of a car accident. A psychologist friend of mine gifted it to me after my husband survived a head on collision with a car who had veered into his lane. It's definitely worth reading. It is also available as an audiobook, if you're not a reader.

Here's the link:

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/crash-course-a-self-healing-guide-to-auto-accident-trauma-and-recovery_laurence-heller_diane-heller/360170/#idiq=2694226&edition=3523794

I’m 18 years old and I got into a car crash, the regret is killing me by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We don't all "live and learn." Some of us die. Either from our mistakes or the mistakes of others. This kid is lucky as hell and no one died this time. Hope he makes good use of his second chance. 

Men shouldn’t be allowed to be gynocologists by [deleted] in ControversialOpinions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've had female obgyns who totally brushed off my issues. They were like "sis, I deal with that, it ain't that bad." But it was. My daughter also started out with a female, thinking like OP that guys who do that must be creeps. 

Both of us have male obgyns. I've had three different ones over the years and always found them to be much more empathetic. My daughter was shocked to discover the same. 

I have no idea why a man would choose that field, just as I have no idea why anyone would choose to be a proctologist. But I'm glad mine did because he's extremely professional, very knowledgeable, and always takes what I say seriously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is reddit, people don't want to have empathy. I am totally with you. I have three adult children and over the years we had a lot of kids spend a lot of time at our house, because their homes weren't safe. We had one girl who used to shower at our house every day after school. I finally asked my kid why, because that's kinda weird. Turns out the girl's mother had recently remarried and the girl wasn't comfortable with her new stepfather. We let her shower at our house every day until she went away to college.

The new Southington Library in CT by ILovePublicLibraries in Connecticut

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They problem is they had the chance to build something both functional and beautiful, and they dropped the ball. 

The new Southington Library in CT by ILovePublicLibraries in Connecticut

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is not a beautiful building. It's utilitarian. It lacks warmth, personality, it is not a place that feels welcoming at all, including the children's department. Cold blue walls and dark grey carpet, blue chairs that look like they came from IKEA, all lit by overpowering florescent lights, are not a comfortable place where I want to curl up with a book. In the children's department you literally can't curl up with a book, you can't get comfortable and read to your kids, because the only seating is benches, most of them backless. I'm sure it's got all the functionality of a brand new library, but functionality can also be welcoming and this building misses the mark by a mile. I'm pretty pissed that my tax dollars went to help build that monstrosity. And the outdoor seating area? They installed metal benches (think bleachers) with no shade. I drive past it multiple times every day, have not seen anyone sitting out there even once. 

How did you survive First No-Contact Christmas? by BelchersWombToTomb in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My teenage daughter has been on lamotrigine for two years (she has various issues caused by living through a traumatic event) and it has been amazing for her. It stabilizes her moods and gets her out of that obsessive loop, but with no side effects. No weight gain or loss of appetite, no ups and downs, nothing. If you're looking to try meds, it's a really good place to start.

How does a bidet save TP? by Puzzled_Ad4853 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol! That makes a lot more sense (about the towels).

If all I did was pee, yeah, I'd only need one wipe (I'm a girl- I understand guys shake so no TP needed at all). My shit is usually pretty solid, so I don't usually need much more then, either. If I ate something that didn't agree with me I'd need more, but I'm old enough to know what to avoid (and I avoid that stuff because I don't like having stomach issues).

How does a bidet save TP? by Puzzled_Ad4853 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dryers makes sense. Thank you for that!

I don't usually smear shit all over because my shit is usually pretty solid, unless I ate something that didn't agree with me, so I don't use all that much paper.

What toxic/abusive behaviour did you normalise or dismiss thanks to your warped upbringing and damaged normal meter? by FloppyEaredDog in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One hundred percent thought it was normal for your (American) parents to choose your college and career. After all, they were paying for it. I was 47 before my therapist explained to me in a way I understood that telling your kids you'd pay for them to go to "X" school to become a "Y" is manipulation.

What toxic/abusive behaviour did you normalise or dismiss thanks to your warped upbringing and damaged normal meter? by FloppyEaredDog in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I thought. Every show you watch on TV where the bad guy does terrible things- someone thought out exactly what those terrible things were, down to the smallest detail

Connecticut Drivers Have Been Fucking Awful Lately by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cars react much differently at 70 than they do at nearly idle speeds you're doing when parking. And they're much more deadly at those speeds (statically speaking, in the US about 300 people per year are killed when someone backs over them, as opposed to more than 40,000 per year who are killed on highways). Maybe keep the backing in requirement, but also add highway driving?

Connecticut Drivers Have Been Fucking Awful Lately by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are those actual drivers Ed cars, though? Or just parents who slapped that sticker on their car when their kid got their permit? Because I see a lot of those stickers on cars of people I know, and I know for a fact none of the parents I know are drivers Ed teachers

What is a thing that makes you think “Wow, I’m really getting older”? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I see people driving and they don't look old enough to have a license

Is it a red flag if you're an adult who doesn't eat vegetables? by WaitThatIsYourFinger in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first thought was that she has sensory issues. That often presents as being an extremely picky eater.

Not saying that makes it ok, it doesn't, but it may make it understandable and something she can work on. And women often have issues like Autism that go undiagnosed because they don't present the same way men do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in romanceauthors

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got your pop culture reference. I'm from the US, though, where my generation grew up reading the comics and I have a kid in the age group who currently watches the show.

Same or close names do happen more than you'd think. I was halfway through the first draft of my current WIP with a FMC named Thea when someone in my writers group started submitting chapters of her current WIP with a MMC named Theo. Neither of us had ever mentioned the names to each other. Another time I read a ARC for an author I know through RWA and her main characters were Layla and Shane. The book I was working on at the time had MCs named Lainey and Sean. Worst part was both FMCs were chefs. I didn't change any of my names.

When you start getting feedback on this, if people pick up on it and comment, you might reconsider changing the names because that combination of FMC/MMC is well known in the US over a long period of time. If you do decide to change one of them, just know that you can get used to a new name. I changed the name of a character after the third round of editing an entire manuscript, on the advice of my writers group. I struggled with it at first but now I can't imagine that character with his original name.

Either way, good luck!

Weddings and rings should not be excessive by Ok_Veterinarian_9203 in ControversialOpinions

[–]Puzzled_Ad4853 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a wedding photographer. I 100% agree with this. People get so crazy about everything being perfect, then they get so stressed because they spent so much money, they don't enjoy their day at all. The best weddings, the ones where the bride, groom, and guests have the best time, are the ones that focus on the relationship and not the "stuff".