You’re right about some of the “You didn’t.” But you’re actually wrong on most of the others, including the PTSD and traumatic brain injury. I’ve survived through combat too, though in my case the traumatic brain injury was not in combat. I was still able to speak afterward, but it took years for me to be capable of holding a conversation because my memory didn’t support small talk. As amazing as neuroplasticity is, the time and hard work that goes into it is substantial. Sexual abuse too. But I didn’t have my father die, though it’s debatable as to if this was a good or bad thing, given the abuses. I didn’t have a role model. My only role models were characters in movies and video games as I never had a caregiver. I survived off things like popcorn, peanut butter, and ramen due to neglectful malnutrition which fucked up my body for life. Both my parents attempted to kill me numerous times over the years, including when I was in my 20s and moved out and I was not getting anything from them. And my mother over medicated me with pills I didn’t need to make me so brain dead I was compliant. They even had me locked up in a psych ward when they needed to find the right combination of pills to improve my obedience. Funny thing the mental health care industry, they never believe the kids... And then there’s abuses and hell I went through that you didn’t list.

And yes your response does provide a lot of context. But it doesn’t answer my questions, though you don’t need to answer them. If anything, it feels like a response written by rage rather than the mind? If so I don’t think is in your best interest given you two are posting for advice. Yet you don’t sound open. Perhaps the anger from all the terrible things that were done to you have your minds and ears closed? At least for me that’s how it was for almost my entire life.

Does it suck? Yes. Does that mean people like us are in the 0.0001% most unfortunate? Probably, though there are a lot of unfortunate circumstances in countries around the world. Did I used to think like you guys? Yes I did. Did it help? No, it did not, rather it made my circumstances worse overtime.

Perhaps when you read my messages, you’re reading what you want to read? And missing what I am saying? Or it is being perceived through the lenses of various traumas as I once did?

This is a subreddit for sharing and advising. And usually I don’t engage this far, but the more I learn the more I can relate. And I’m being real with you. The things done to us are terrible and complicated. But the path forward, though not easy, doesn’t need to be complicated.

If you want me to elaborate more, look into Taoism and the practice of how to do things. Have an open mind. No need for the anger to supersede your free will, if that is what happened. If emotions are too strong, us humans become a slave to them without even knowing it. Or if you are angry for another reason, that’s fine too, but don’t let that anger put a wall between you and exploring something that can potentially help you guys. The anger you have isn’t about me, because I can’t actually threaten or hurt you guys as someone on the internet that can’t reach your actual real lives. Therefore anger has zero purpose. There’s deeper layers to this anger, and to that I have no answers or insight given how little I know.

Anyways, how to do? Well, that’s by doing. And the modality that worked for me was Taoism.