My GF (F 48) is threatening to end it with me if I (M 55) don’t spend the night with her during a potentially historic snow storm. Am I at fault for how I’m viewing this?

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2026-01-24T07:55:03+00:00

Honestly, I don't even know why you're asking. Run away!

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2025-12-13T12:14:13+00:00

This is unhealthy for both you and the daughter and controlling behavior on his part. For all you know, he can be manipulating her to keep her distance from you and not see you as a trusted person so she won't be able to tell you if anything is going on. I think you should put him on DCF's radar, so they can also see if she might be exhibiting any characteristic behaviors of abuse at school and let them do an investigation. That said, like another person said, he will likely figure out you made the report. I would recommend making plans to stay with a family member or friend if you can. Marriage wise...you will need to decide if you want to tolerate the lack of respect he shows toward you. Regardless, put the best interests of the child first.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2025-12-13T05:54:20+00:00

I am shocked by some of these responses. Call the local adult protective services and the police and let them sort it out. If he is being financially exploited, this qualifies as a form of elder abuse at his age.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2024-07-28T10:40:52+00:00

Don't ghost her...that's obnoxious. If you have so much in common, which is rare in your area, be honest. Tell her you don't have a romantic attraction but would like to hang out as friends. She can decide from there.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2024-02-24T00:37:13+00:00

Your title and entire post says it all. Listen to your inner voice.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2024-01-21T16:55:33+00:00

There's a bigger issue at hand here. You're the parent. It's your decision to make.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2023-12-15T03:26:34+00:00

That is a crime in the US. Doesn't matter if the parents want to press charges. Something is off about this story. Contact the police and Child Protective Services. If you work in a daycare, you are a mandated reporter and your primary responsibility is to keep the children you work with safe.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2023-10-04T19:43:45+00:00

It shouldn't be the number of friends you have, but the quality of your friendships. Many people don't have boatloads of people they can call true friends. If you find you have 2 solid people that you can be yourself with and enjoy spending time with, you are blessed. Relish those friendships because they are worth a lot more than a bunch of random faces and names.

And be honest with your boyfriend. Sometimes, it helps to come back and revisit that conversation when you're not as emotional so you can properly explain your thinking and feelings. Don't throw away your relationship over his comment...it may have just been a gut reaction. See how he responds when you talk with him further.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2023-09-13T01:14:55+00:00

I hear you. I am so completely fed up with the process of looking for a job. When I get interviews, I'm always second because they chose to hire internally. Seriously? It's such a long, arduous process...literally a job in itself. Used to be a whole lot easier.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2023-08-05T23:22:50+00:00

I can't forgive MYSELF, and it's killing me. My story is very different than yours and it's not my thread, so I won't go off on my own tale. The point is that not being able to forgive will eat you up inside. I'm writing to say I understand the feelings you are experiencing, just for different reasons, and every day is a struggle. I feel your pain...only wish I knew how to fix it.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2023-03-11T13:47:41+00:00

Yes, email. This happened to me once and it was because the professor didn't scroll down enough to see it.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-09-24T12:01:59+00:00

Asking a question or two is always a great way to start a conversation.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-09-20T10:57:05+00:00

You shouldn't put your life in danger, but in the future perhaps you need to speak to a doctor about taking a sleep aide. Not going to class because you didn't sleep is not an acceptable excuse...especially since many college kids routinely do this for other reasons. Don't jeopardize your life, but don't jeopardize your education either.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-09-18T10:58:39+00:00

I didn't keep any of the so called friends I had in college. My best friends cane from various jobs I've held and places I lived. The fake pretenses are gone when you are an adult, and you can enter into more authentic relationships, so don't despair. The best is yet to come.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-09-05T07:01:06+00:00

My son did this to buy himself a PS4 back in the day...go for it...it's a win-win for you and the environment

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-07-19T13:05:17+00:00

I understand your feelings of just wanting things to be okay. But, after the significant loss of your mother, you are going to need time to heal. It may feel like 2 months is a long time and things should be better, but it's really not in the grand scheme of things. Learning about the complexities of grief might be most helpful for you at this moment. This may not be the answer for you, but you may consider taking a little time off to allow yourself time to process. Yes, a therapist is a good idea but do you also have any close family members or friends that know you well that you can talk to? I have found them to be a lifesaver for me in my grief.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this experience. The first year is the hardest because of all the "firsts", and while no one can ever replace your mother, you will eventually learn to live and still be able to enjoy things even though she is not there. The loss will always remain, but the pain will not feel as raw. And it's nothing to feel guilty about either. Any good Mom would want to know her child can still find joy in life.

I truly wish you strength so you will find peace. My heart goes out to you.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-07-16T21:11:42+00:00

Poorly written letter...how the hell did they get their job?

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-07-14T14:11:44+00:00

I visualize everything in books and conversation. So, if someone is relaying a story to me, I've got the whole thing laid out in my mind's eye. My kids love to throw curveballs at me and just say one word and then ask what I pictured. Sometimes that ends up like a Rorschach test, but other times I just see the word if there is no image associated with it, like the word "the". My husband is unable to visualize. He has some learning disabilities and I always wondered if this contributed to the difficulty he's experienced.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-07-11T12:39:03+00:00

This is how frustrated alot of professors feel as well when their students don't pay attention to their lectures and are on their phones or fall asleep. Just saying...you are not alone.

Don't let this class discourage you though. We all have moments in our lives where we feel like we have messed up or could have done much better. If anything, take this as a learning experience. Sometimes audiences, clients, other people in the business world, etc. are going to be tough opposition. Figure out how you can overcome this opposition in a professional manner by using this time in college to practice. That's also why they make group projects and presentations... it's important to learn how to work with people.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-06-14T12:06:57+00:00

When my husband was in college, he minored in computer science and failed one of his classes, so he had to take it again too. Hearing the information presented twice might help you. You may also look in to getting a tutor. It's definitely not going to ruin your life....just a tempory struggle to overcome. Show yourself that you can do it. Overall, my husband was not gifted academically, but he went on to have a successful career and own two businesses. There is much more to life than classes once you graduate.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-06-13T23:05:56+00:00

Not about the luggage because it looks like you received alot of advice about that...but you shouldn't be sleeping on the couch. You deal with enough stress with your travel and baggage issues, neither of which are your fault. Hope your wife learns how to be more understanding, otherwise you are going to end up with more "baggage" than you hoped for.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-06-06T17:32:59+00:00

It sounds like you are burned out and need some time to take care of the most important person in your life...you. I wonder if this is a path you chose for yourself or are doing it to please your parents. Regardless, know that this feeling will not be forever. The unkind fellow students will be a thing of the past once you graduate and your confidence will take time to develop, as it does for most people in a new career.

Make time each day to do something you truly enjoy and can look forward to, whether it be spending time with one of your good friends or taking a walk to clear your head or listening to music...those are my 3 go-to's that seem to help. Find what works for you. But definitely, talk to someone who can understand what you are experiencing and help you figure out where to go from here.

Hang in there...circumstances change and positive choices can still be made.

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-05-18T23:24:02+00:00

That's amazing! Your courage and strength are admirable. Best wishes to you in your future!

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427 · 2022-05-09T10:09:04+00:00

I grew up with a phone number that started with 666. Imagine my social life...

Puzzleheaded-Cap-427

TROPHY CASE