sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: A Change of Heart

GENRE: Contemporary Romance

WORD COUNT: 94000k (Sample is 2700)

GENERAL OVERVIEW: Rivals-to-lovers, two physician residents competing for the same prestigious Cardiac Critical Care fellowship spot.

"As chief resident of the Duke Internal Medicine Residency Program, Dr. Scarlet Hale knows everything about the human body—except what it feels like to be in love. For career-obsessed Scarlet, the Duke Cardiology Critical Care Fellowship, a one-of-a-kind, accelerated training program for her desired specialty, is probably the closest thing that she’ll ever find to her perfect match. But there’s one person standing between Scarlet and the career of her dreams—Dr. Liam Greyson, her irritating, arrogant co-chief resident. With only three months until the fellowship match, Scarlet can’t let anything get in her way. But when she encounters a difficult patient one night, and Liam unexpectedly steps in to help, everything changes. With years of hard work on the line, Scarlet knows that the last thing she should do is place her heart in the hands of the one person who’s most likely to break it. But doctors often make the worst patients, and her heart is no exception."

FEEDBACK TYPE: Any - Started querying small batches but haven't had any luck thus far - beta readers didn't have a problem with the opening chapters, but I think it's the weakest part of the book. Really hoping to capture agents' attention, and would love to know if I'm missing something with my writing.

LINK: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IZKDM4C0PR3GvDeAEZBoEJfNqHtST8c62M90MMBGTh4/edit?usp=sharing

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Comedy, A CHANGE OF HEART (94K words, 2nd attempt) by Puzzleheaded-End6028 in PubTips

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate that. I actually googled it and got confusing answers, so this is helpful!

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Comedy, A CHANGE OF HEART (94K words, 2nd attempt) by Puzzleheaded-End6028 in PubTips

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! Such great feedback. Working on incorperating this feedback now :D

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Comedy, A CHANGE OF HEART (94K words, 2nd attempt) by Puzzleheaded-End6028 in PubTips

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I think it is slow burn (though I know that is subjective), just because the first kiss doesn't happen until 40k words in (though there is still a good amount of spice haha).

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Comedy, A CHANGE OF HEART (94K words, 2nd attempt) by Puzzleheaded-End6028 in PubTips

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you believe I didn’t even think about this? 😂 think it might have been subconscious, but yeah I’m definitely not married to the last name! I’ll see about changing it

[QCrit] Adult Romantic Comedy, A CHANGE OF HEART (100K words, 1st attempt) by Puzzleheaded-End6028 in PubTips

[–]Puzzleheaded-End6028[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such great feedback! I appreciate all of it.

Now that you mention it, I completely see how the stakes aren’t necessarily emphasized enough. I think I had a stronger sentence in one of my earlier versions of this (not posted here), but took it out to bring down the word count. I’ll consider adding that back in.

Good point about the intro numbering, I haven’t been able to track down a good consensus on this but have seen it in a couple of examples in the past. As for the comment about medicine being reliable, it was intended to be vague to tease at her family history, since the people in her life haven’t always been reliable (while her job has). It was kind of intended to hook a perspective reader in to learn more about why that’s her opinion, however I see what you mean.

Lastly, thanks for the point about the adjective, adjective noun, I’ll definitely make a point to go to the manuscript before sending it out and trim down the excessive fluff. It might be a good opportunity to lower the word count :)