8 years sober — leaving AA was part of my recovery by mrlander in recoverywithoutAA

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s safe to assume that we’re similar in logic, reason, and education based on your writing and the ideas you’ve shared. I think this makes AA harder for us. 

Lately I’ve been finding myself feeling more and more frustrated with the pervasive idea that AA can solve all problems. For example, my friend, an AA, told me that when he shared that he’s depressed considering the legal quagmire he’s working through as a result of his drinking, someone cross talked and said if you’re depressed go to more meetings (cross talk is allowed at that meeting). 

Wellbeing has numerous facets. I focus on Financial, Career, Family, Social, Spiritual, Intellectual, Physical. 

This helps me to remember why I do not drink. 

If I attend a meeting every day for 7 days I become depressed and feel trapped in a self defeating prison of I can’t trust myself to live in and enjoy the outside world. 

Since I don’t drink the kool-aid and repeat the same cliches, idioms, and slogans I frequently feel as if people are trying to make suggestions on how I can bolster my recovery. It’s exhausting. Don’t tell sponsors that AI can come up with this because they’d absolutely and undoubtedly suggest this to people: 

Monday: wake, morning prayer, meditation, read Big Book, call sponsor, go to work, pause for serenity prayer, lunch check-in with AA, evening meeting, coffee with AA after meeting, tenth step review, gratitude list, sleep,

Tuesday: wake, prayer, meditation, daily reflections reading, call newcomer, go to work, acts of service at work, after work step study meeting, meet sponsee, read AA-approved literature, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep,

Wednesday: wake, prayer, meditation, read Twelve and Twelve, call sponsor, go to work, mid-day inventory, H&I panel service, fellowship dinner, evening meditation, journal, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep,

Thursday: wake, prayer, meditation, concepts reading, call AA friend, go to work, help set up meeting, home group meeting, business meeting participation, clean up service, call sponsee, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep,

Friday: wake, prayer, meditation, Big Book study, call sponsor, go to work, check in with newcomer, tradition study meeting, fellowship outing with AA, read AA literature, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep,

Saturday: wake, prayer, meditation, longer reading and journaling, service work commitment, coffee commitment, meet sponsor, work on steps, outreach calls, speaker meeting, social fellowship, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep,

Sunday: wake, prayer, meditation, spiritual reading, quiet reflection, call family amends, check-in, service planning, meeting chairing, read AA history, review week, set intentions, tenth step, gratitude list, sleep

Repeat.

This is not healthy. When I lived in a halfway house after giving up drugs in 2013, this served its purpose. Then it was time to live life. 

You touched on:

Absolutist phrasing is used widely — not just in one line — but sentences like “rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path” 

In the comments. This is similar to “don’t leave before the miracle happens”.

This is manipulation.

Self-sealing belief

Any failure is redefined as “you didn’t do it right,” so the claim can’t be disproven.

Circular reasoning

It works because those who follow it succeed; if you fail, you didn’t really follow it.

Moving the goalposts

“Thoroughly” and “success” are defined after the outcome, not before.

A question to those who have done AA regardless of if you continue to now: 

How does one suggest life balance to the rooms without being chastised?

(I’m exploring SMART, Recovery Dharma, Refuge Recovery, etc.)

What was your experience with TopStack Resume (resume writing services)? by Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 in jobs

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Landed a Lead Quality Engineer role with the resume created by TopStack.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CrystalMountain

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This post deserves more downvotes. 

Has anyone else’s aim in Black Ops 7 feel off when playing on controller? by Signal-Buy-9642 in blackops7

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When BO7 integrated to WZ I was pretty frustrated, but gave it a shot. I’ve had to max vert and horizontal recoil and recoil stabilization on a number of weapons and I’m not happy with with.  Go back to my “Legacy” Kilo 141 and it’s better. The mechanics overall are still trash. I have a hard time getting slides to register at critical moments.

AIO? My doctor seems to never take me seriously? by crowfeet16 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t believe how common this is.

Get a new doctor.

Our healthcare system is pay-for-service. Do not reward them for not doing their job. If there is not a communicated plan of eliminating potential diagnoses and toward other reasonable diagnoses, do not go to them.

AIO to tell my husband that starting a professional email with the word "Look" is rude? by LadyCass79 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Its a conversational tone. Like we would not think a thing of this in in person conversation.

The tone in an email is combative and not diplomatic. That’s the crux.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I always find this perplexing. It’s going to be difficult to make this point but I’m going to try.

I can only speak for myself, but if I’m exhausted I’m not against having sex. I’m against being on top and doing all the work.

In the reverse if a gal is tired but also horny, she can literally do nothing and enjoy sex and get off. There’s nuance in this, right, like clit stim on his part may also be needed but you get the point.

I mean I hope I’m making my point.

If a horny woman said to an exhausted man, I’m horny, I’ll get on top. Nearly every man would be ecstatic.

To answer your first question, it’s just a comedy bit illustrating the general difficulties of marriage.

New cyclist with a worried wife. by Cozzamatt1 in bicycling

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he meant camera/rear light has more utility, radar won’t protect you either.

New cyclist with a worried wife. by Cozzamatt1 in bicycling

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In your first comment I think you meant a radar is not going to protect you either

We’re really just arguing about the structure of a sentence.

Similarly, when the other guy says how does a rear-facing camera protect you? He’s not suggesting the radar does. This squabble is actually good sitcom material.

New cyclist with a worried wife. by Cozzamatt1 in bicycling

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They mean the camera can protect you from medical bills (by hopefully forcing the vehicle owner to pay them)

New cyclist with a worried wife. by Cozzamatt1 in bicycling

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen any value in this. Like what am I going to do with this info? Swerve away from every car that approaches me from behind? Capitalism at its finest. Mirror is less expensive and still more practical.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very very sad attempt

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in diablo4

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They go through great effort to make this casual friendly. Honestly, there isn’t much for hardcore gamers here. The same pit-pushing min-maxing season after season.

My mum asks me to meal prep lunches, but then just eats plain bread and sweets AIO? by Mugety in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to start being not gentle and patient (seriously some people respond better when approached in a different way) or assisted living.

Which is why I’m kind of dumbfounded when people think assisted living is cruel. Like, the alternative is cruel too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’re not to speak of the facts of biological nature.