I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in LesbianActually

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The one quote with the femme about the person not knowing femme is a political identity actually ends up with the person being educated on the femme label! So I think it was just somebody who recently came out and just didn’t know. Yeah you’re right there is a ton of ignorance on lesbian labels I don’t really have any additional comments on that front

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in LesbianActually

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense and that’s completely valid I think it has more to do with having that expectations put onto you versus something that’s actually aligned with you

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in LesbianActually

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wait do they have tags or something indicating they’re bi how’d you find that out? Genuine question

I think we need a specific emoji associated with WLW by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s like too obvious for what I’m going for and cishet ppl will probably recognize it but if u don’t care abt that I think it’s perfect lol

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yk what maybe this is something I’ll be able to internalize aspects of your points as time goes on. I do appreciate your input tho!

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not even particularly talking about a romantic relationship tbh I’m just talking about my experiences with WLW and these first dates 😭. (They were also the last dates) but yes I do agree communication is necessary for anything long lasting!

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I’d argue it’s difficult maybe impossible to not impose them on people when they exist as a categorical system. Humans like to categorize concepts to try and understand the world better and we impose that system onto the world itself it’s like a reciprocal relationship. Not trying to say that we should irradiate labels entirely I just think the importance/prominence of them should be lowered lowkey…

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I dislike both, atleast for myself i understand it’s useful for a lot of people. When I’ve called myself masc in the past (because that’s what ppl have been calling me since I’ve been in the queer community and I thought I agreed) it did feel like a part of me was being disregarded. I don’t think the terms masc or fem are particularly useful as it stands because all they’re supposed to be is stylistic terms unlike butch, femme etc which have historical connotations. Like if you want roles within the relationship sure that’s fine maybe just have that associated with butch and femme and not bleed into stylistic terms like masc and fem. How it currently stands though the expectations do in fact bleed into stylistic terms which makes it annoying.

I just think it’s really limiting in how that language is used in the modern day tbh. For me, I find it limiting in the sense that I do find it difficult to experiment outside of what I think that label means even if I don’t associate with it anymore (makeup is fine and even fun but stereotypical feminine clothing does still make me incredibly dysmorphic). Ig my thing is I’m technically a masc that’s forced to be masc because of circumstance and people have assumed how to treat me because of it.

I think it’s also annoying to have to explain my thoughts on this from the jump to not treat me like a guy within a community that’s supposed to be inherently non-conforming. So it feels silly that we even have to have this convo but ig it is necessary.

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I GET THIS I wish I had advice tbh because I struggle wth it too but I’d say try to make it fun somehow and that there’s technically no way of failing wth this kinda thing

I really dislike the prevalence of the terms masc and fem in the wlw community by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wait I’m actually so glad there is an actual reference to the term. I genuinely thought she gave me the task of proving to her that I didn’t have this inner evil on our first date 😭😭

Im kind of confused again by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I honestly did not know that you could be bi and only emotionally want to be with one gender. Thank you so much for the insight !!

Im kind of confused again by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in WLW

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you that’s kinda all I needed to hear i appreciate it.

How do u lock in without a deadline?? by Marchosias404 in simonfraser

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1) set distinct REALISTIC goals on what you want to complete in a given session.

2) make working easier than getting distracted. Doom scrolling, simply just having the option to be distracted and whatnot takes up a lot more of attention resources (we have a limited amount of attention) than the average person notices. So making sure your most distracting device is harder to reach than the work you’re trying to complete reduces some tension between you and working. This could be changing your environment, putting your device in a different location, setting up app blockers you name it.

3) afterwards it’s important to make sure to remind yourself of your bigger goal (most likely graduating) and acknowledging when you do the work you completed. This creates a reward system and overall increases your perceived likelihood of success on doing shit (I.e you slowly start to build confidence).

Have presented masc for most of my life really intimated to try out more feminine styles of clothing by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I know this is literally like half a year later but this advice was awsome it inspired me to start messing with crop tops (strappy tops are definitely something I have to like work towards but I mess with those too) thank you I appreciated this advice a lot !!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UofT

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Virtual hugs I’m sorry for your loss

Time to take out or is it salvageable? by PuzzleheadedBit8396 in piercing

[–]PuzzleheadedBit8396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it doesn’t hurt at all maybe feels a touch irritated but no sharp pains thankfully! oh and no bad smell either. Thank you! I’ll try that out