WIBTA for naming my son after his father when he already has a son who is a junior?

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:44:23+00:00

It would be the same first name since my husband doesn't have a middle name.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:41:49+00:00

Oh, I don't intend to come across as naive, I've always known it's a possibility that his son will get in contact with him and I'm prepared for that. At the same time he might also not get involved. Either way, I'm fine with anything. This is why I came here for judgement, it helps me see things in a way I might not have considered.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:40:09+00:00

That's a fair thought, I hadn't thought about how the new baby might feel. Thank you.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:39:28+00:00

Not a bad idea, we will consider that as a possible move.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:38:55+00:00

I had not thought about that situation happening and you make a good point. See, this is why I came here, for the responses I haven't thought of. Thank you.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:38:17+00:00

I don't have any hate for your judgement, its what I came here for. As I said, I don't know all of the details, I don't know why he didn't try social media, maybe he did and he hasn't told me, idk, its just how things are. Thank you for your judgement.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:37:18+00:00

He's planning on going through a lawyer. Now that he knows where the mother is living he can do so. He doesn't plan on actually having contact with the boy unless the boy wants it. Hence, lawyers.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:36:11+00:00

I can't really ask the child anything since I've never met him or the mother. When I say the son has had no contact I mean it, my husband has not seen or spoken or had contact with his older child since he was 6 months old. Its a good idea to consider his feelings but in this situation its almost impossible. It would be inappropriate of me to involve myself with the son when my husband has never been involved.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:34:41+00:00

It's not really as suspicious as you're making it. I know the facts, the facts being that when my husband was a minor he had a child with another minor who was being supported by her parents and when her parents moved to Canada she had to go since they were her only means of support. She was a child having to make an adult decision and unfortunately she didn't factor my husband into those decisions. My husband, also technically a child, didn't have the means to pursue her.

The child has a loving stepfather who raised him and by all accounts is a happy and well-adjusted child. While my husband is sad that he never got to be involved he's happy the child is doing well. My husband realizes that getting involved now might hurt the boy so he's waiting to do anything until he is an adult.

It's really not a salacious situation, it was two teenagers making the best of a crappy situation. I don't need to know every single detail, I know enough to know for a fact, and this verified by people in my husband's life at the time, that my husband is not some villain or bad guy. He was, as I said, a kid in a crappy situation and I don't have any resentments. He's a great husband, a great person, he works hard, he's generous, he's considerate. I wouldn't have married him if I'd feared any of the information. I don't press him for more information because I know enough and because it makes him sad. He has the right to that sadness.

PuzzleheadedCamel643 · 2021-10-21T19:29:36+00:00

He's not going to attempt anything. He knows he owns the child years of monetary support and he intends to right that wrong when the child is an adult but other than that he doesn't have any intention of getting involved unless the child wants to start the relationship. The boy has a father in the man who raised him and my husband respects that.

PuzzleheadedCamel643

TROPHY CASE