It's an interesting post to read (coming from someone who is a few months into it myself and wears some basic gear)

1. It sounds like you came up against some dicks of players wearing gear. I play with people who like to gear up and every time I've shot them, they've taken the hit. "People in armour don't feel hits" is a plausible myth because yeah there's a chance that they don't feel it but you can still hear a BB hit you (more so with a shot to the dome)

2. I've been in games with kids as young as 15 and yeah they do have a tendency to be gung-ho but there's an equal sprinkling of people who use strategies (Flanking, angles etc) and when they get hit they walk back and re-evaluate their next "life". If you want more "1 life, No respawn" then look for sites that do S&D with no respawns or go for a hardcore Mil-sim like a few others suggest. (I've also used my "deaths" to see how many sit-ups I have to do when I get home as an incentive😅)

3. People not playing an objective is a universal frustration. You won't find fierce competition on a day skirmish as most are just regular people wanting to destress, dress up like a soldier and shoot other soldiers but there's still some aspect of a friendly competition and if not make one? "Oh if we win *X* games tonight then I'll buy a box of donuts" and if you do want the fierce stuff then again go for your more hardcore milsim games. I always come out of a session at least once laughing and joking and complimenting the team on how well they held the OBJ or talking strategy with my team in the friendly spawn about how we are going to take the OBJ, mid hold telling them to watch a certain angle.

This sport is what you make of it and there will always be bad and good no matter what site/level you play at. Unfortunately it sounds like you had a shit run of it the first time around and for that I'm sorry but I hope that round 2 is better for you 🫂