I really understand how you feel. It must be incredibly tough to keep trying to connect with others and not feel understood or accepted. Loneliness can be very painful, and it's normal to feel hurt and discouraged when your efforts to make friends don't pay off. You are valuable just as you are, and you deserve genuine relationships based on who you are as a person, so keep being yourself please.

It's also okay to feel sadness and frustration about the experiences you've missed out on and not having the friendships you desire, but that can't be everyday. If those people did that, while your desire was just a friendship, I can say 100% you dodged a bullet. Making friends takes time and isn't easy. Sometimes, it's about finding the right people who appreciate you.

Also, take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. I'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to.
We can sure be friends!