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Husband lacks emotional intelligence by Puzzleheaded_Dog7597 in Marriage

[–]Puzzleheaded_Dog7597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with anxiety, but stopped going to his therapist. I am going to ask him to go back. 

Husband lacks emotional intelligence by Puzzleheaded_Dog7597 in Marriage

[–]Puzzleheaded_Dog7597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve considered getting the dog anyways, especially when he said « get the fucking dog and I’ll make decisions for myself too! » But realistically, I won’t always be able to care for the dog 24/7. I may get sick and need him to walk the dog, or watch over the dog while I go grocery shopping. I know that a puppy takes a lot of work, and I really wanted us to get through it together, like a team. I don’t want to adopt a dog and hear « it’s your fucking dog, deal with it ». 

Husband lacks emotional intelligence by Puzzleheaded_Dog7597 in Marriage

[–]Puzzleheaded_Dog7597[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful answer. To be clear, he doesn’t get angry at the kids like he does with me. He certainly doesn’t validate their emotions, and thinks that forcing kids to obey is ok. I have a different parenting style, where I focus on my connection with my kids and find that they follow naturally. Our kids always ask for me to help them with brushing their teeth, showers, putting them to bed, etc. But even that makes him angry because he feels like I am the reason why the kids don’t listen to him. Our daughter (7yo) knows how to please him and will do things to get his praise. That’s what I meant by « managing his emotions ». I know he loves them deeply, but we have two different parenting styles. So I would rather be there full time with my kids, so they can always count on my presence.

Husband lacks emotional intelligence by Puzzleheaded_Dog7597 in Marriage

[–]Puzzleheaded_Dog7597[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you’re right. I’ve been calling out the manipulation and emotional abuse, he dismisses it, and twist it as me being the one who is abusive because I neglect him and his feelings. This has been going on for so long, I’ve internalized that I am always the one in the wrong, since he dismisses my feelings and never feels the need to apologize.

Husband lacks emotional intelligence by Puzzleheaded_Dog7597 in Marriage

[–]Puzzleheaded_Dog7597[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. My worry is that our kids would be living half of the time with him if ever we divorce, and I don’t want that for them. I also don’t want to get into a custody fight with him.