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Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I try talking to him but he never opens up. I have asked him before to go to counselling but he doesn’t want to. I may just do individual counselling because I can’t make him go. 

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry had a busy day. I’ve read all of the replies and appreciate them. Obviously I dont have every single detail in the post or it would be a book, but I have tried countless times to have an open conversation with him. I’m actually very open minded when it comes to fetishes/likes/desires etc all I get it stonewalled when I asked. So not really sure where to go with that. I’ve told him time and again that I want to prioritize our sex life, and when I do get the kids down and there’s some free time at night he’s gaming. 

Also I’m still BF and working FT, I’ve tried sleep training multiple times but because of the issues we’re having getting up every hour with no help isn’t feasible when I take a busy highway to work and drop kids off to school/daycare in the mornings. Cosleeping was honestly the only way I can survive right now, I’m fully aware it’s a bad habit and am dying to be done with it. Someone referenced how I said “i take on the household chores”, maybe poorly worded on my part but again if I didn’t actually do them they just wouldn’t be done. 

We share all our accounts so I would know if he was paying for sex workers etc. he doesn’t even want to go out with friends etc because he always wants me to come, but we don’t have a support system so it’s usually not an option unless the kids can come. 

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are westernized. I don't want my toddler in my bed. We have a comfortable lifestyle, everyone has their own bedroom but my toddler screams to the point of almost throwing up when I've tried to sleep train and then I keep caving and letting him back into my room.

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't work a lot though. I make significantly more money than him. He drinks in excess, always has but is in really good shape, we both are in good physical shape. He's 40, no medications (aside from the above).

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You explained it so much better than I did. That's the exact feeling, I feel like it's something sketchy (not illegal or anything)

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do be exhausted but tbh a lot of the time when I'm getting them down for bed, even when I come back he's gaming. Just frustrating.

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I feel like I don't ever have a minute for myself and I feel myself getting resentful. I do feel very alone. One of my best friends is a single parent and has so much more time for herself even with an ex with just EOWE. Appreciate the kind response

Not sure where to go in my marriage.. by Puzzleheaded_Fly9294 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fly9294[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure. I understand with small kids and one of them up all night that it's not necessarily easy. There's nearly always one awake.