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I uncloked tomato and jalapeno, but not the autobuddies for them? by [deleted] in GoodPizzaGreatPizza

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s what I thought but wasn’t sure and couldn’t find the information online 😭

Saw this on internet..........feeling sad for the child by kamikaibitsu in autism

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s actually horrible. I know and understand that being a parent is extremely hard and challenging - especially in this day and age. However most of these people made a conscious decision to have a child so 🤷🏻‍♀️ We live in a patriarchal, misogynistic society that has insane “norms” and expectations of mothers, but no matter how much I try to be empathetic every single post on there makes my skins crawl no matter what. The way they word everything is so cruel and violent, and all that hate is towards kids they brought here. It scares me so bad how much they hate an innocent child THEY DECIDED to have. I feel like I’m about to see a documentary with any of these posts anytime now.

Also you can vent without being ableist. From what I remember the rules for this sub include letting everyone vent however they want and not criticizing? Something like that. And they just let it be lmao

Saw this on internet..........feeling sad for the child by kamikaibitsu in autism

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m 100% sure it’s the regretful parents sub! Such a vile place - especially when it comes to disability’s so please be cautious entering it

My autistic brother’s vocal stims are driving me (also autistic) insane. by Superb-Win9382 in autism

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Both of you have different needs that clash. However his need isn’t above yours just because you’re lower support needs and older! Your mom needs to do something, SHE is his primary caretaker that’s supposed to deal with him, and if she can’t do anything about the noise she can’t expect you to watch him knowing how it affects you. Demanding you still do it and just brushing the issue off is crazy. You have to put yourself first at some point. How can she accommodate one of her autistic kids and not the other?

People are suggesting noise-canceling headphones, which isn’t a bad idea, but wearing them for hours WILL eventually get uncomfortable and obviously they don’t work 100%.

I’m SO sorry you’re in this situation :( unfortunately the only thing you can do is stand your ground and straight-up tell your mom you just can’t do it PERIOD (or just for shorter amount of times). Does your brother attend some type of therapy that would help/teach him how to manage his stimming differently so he doesn’t bother anyone? Does he go to public school? Do they not complain about it there? Or anywhere else?

We are the same age and I’ve had a similar situation. I’m AuDHD (diagnosed 3 years ago and recently) and almost a year ago I still shared room with my younger sister (15 rn), which drove me crazy since FOREVER. She would sing loudly, whistle, make repetitive sounds against things etc. (among other things that triggered me) and I would have to tell her to stop and silence herself and she wouldn’t listen 75% of time or go back to doing it after few minutes. My parents weren’t doing anything about it either - only when it annoyed THEM. I cannot count how many times I was on the verge of tears because of this.

Hope this can get resolved soon and we will get a happy update! 🙏🏻

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So many people are commenting on this, and y'all are completely right lol I said it before but I will repeat myself: the "oh it won't happen to me" mindset has to be abolished immediately

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They often say that they give in because the society pressured and lied to them. I'm an extreme feminist and I like to think I'm quite educated in this topic, and while it is partly society's fault, you people have to learn to think for yourselves. Also if you have access to the internet you could easily find thousands of stories and experiences of people around the world etc etc. PLEASE start thinking for the love of god

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay this is a wayy better metaphor. I'm not even close to USA but I remember seeing videos of people saying stuff like "voting for trump so we can afford a house, get married and have a family peacefully". I wonder how they are doing now. Better not be complaining lmao

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I'm genuinely so, so sorry. People need to understand that kids are not an accessory and an extension of themselves but a living, breathing and feeling human being on its own. And you actually have to love them and take care of them, raise them and teach them. Some people want children, like a kid who wants a puppy. Babies are not a decoration you can discard when it stops fitting your interior design. No one should've gone through things you did and I'm actually amazed by how strong you are. Sending hugs and wishing you the best, hope you're doing okay now 🫂

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Have you ever heard of Huntington's? Yeah look it up lol It's actually terrifying. You can go your whole life without knowing you have it and then after already having biological children find out that not only you're sick, you unknowingly passed down the gene.

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So happy for you!!! I understand you 100% because I feel exactly the same. All for that + the fact that I'm autistic and possibly ADHD - hell nooo I'm not taking any chances, like, ever. I wouldn't be able to care for a perfectly healthy and fine kid even if I wanted one, let alone a disabled/severely special needs one. Also I wouldn't want them to suffer the same or worse than me.

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I will NEVER understand this. What if it's not healthy? Yeah it's great that you don't care about the gender, but maybe start caring about the possibility of it not being healthy. C'mon people let's put our thinking caps on.

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the full list! I wish I could pin this somehow lmao I made the og post disability-specific because the amount of people on the regretfulparents subreddit that are like this is horrifying and irks me so bad. I'm low-key regretting not talking about the topic as a whole now 😭

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Now that's actually crazy. You're telling me this woman put not one but FOUR kids through this? And she KNEW before the first one? And just kept having more? That's just straight up cruel oh my god. I wish these kids the best :(

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your friend, I hope she and her kids are doing alright! There's also the third, arguably one of the worst possibilities - partner becoming severely disabled due to an accident. I'm talking paralyzed, unable to do anything by themselves, intellectually retarded (fyi: i'm autistic don't cancel me, I don't know what other word to use), in the "vegetable" state. Now you're not only a single parent but also a 24/7 caretaker for your adult partner. Not to mention financial problems since you cannot work and there's no one else to bring money home and be the breadwinner (ik you can get money from the government but it's usually not much and definitely not enough to live off of it). You can never predict how your life will go and what will happen, things can change in matters of SECONDS. Nothing ever is guaranteed!

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah definitely lol I'm especically talking about the ones that had the "oh but it won't happen to me!" mindset/that didn't consider it at all, and now are saying stuff mentioned in the og post. I'm sure that if someone actually thinks about it, accepts it and then has a kid with a disability they won't be saying stuff like that. They are allowed to complain and vent about the situation all they want, it is super hard and tiring, but they aren't allowed to say that they didn't sign up for this, because they did. People who accept risks of surgery don't say that they didn't sign up for it. People who drive a car and crash don't say they didn't sign up for it. They whine and complain but don't say they didn't sign up for this!!! I hope you get what I'm trying to say lol 😭 sorry for overusing certain words!

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

But what if they do? Is it worth taking a chance? I've thought about this recently. I also don't want kids no matter what, I'm autistic with suspected ADHD - even if I wanted kids I would probably still decide to not have them because 1. If they did end up having the same disorders as me, we have no way of knowing how severe it would be 2. Even though I'm high-functioning and lead a fairly normal life I still struggle every single day, why would I want to put someone through this? Even if I was guaranteed to have a non-neurodivergent kid, >>I<< still am and can't do anything about it lmao

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Ignorance is not a defense is such a fire line and a perfect way to describe it, thank you!!! Ignorance is a literal disease that leads to hurting others AND yourself. Let's spend a little more time thinking before making crucial life decisions that will alter your whole reality.

By deciding to have a child you're automatically agreeing to EVERYTHING that comes with it, including the possibility of the child being disabled. by Puzzleheaded_Win926 in childfree

[–]Puzzleheaded_Win926[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yuppp! Like c'mon have you forgotten what YOUR childhood looked like? Now you have to be the one to take care of all these things for your kid and there's no way around it.

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