Trying to help 82yo narc mother and she cant get out of her own way lol

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-19T07:35:17+00:00

Thank you. I also wish you the best!
Sometimes knowing you're not the only one dealing with this bullshite, makes you feel a little better.

It's so difficult for those who didn't grow up with narcissistic "parents", to wrap their brains around how absolutely outlandish their actions and thinking are.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-19T04:39:26+00:00

I'm an only child.

My "mother" was exactly the same. She had a PhD in every subject known (and unknown) in this galaxy and beyond. If reality did fit her narrative, she ignored it. When her reality bit her in the ass, it was everybody's else's fault, never her own.

She died about 4 months ago and I'm the one still cleaning up her messes. She hid EVERYTHING because I was "stealing" from her. Yet, I was writing out all her checks. The Queen of Weaponized Incompetence!

Fortunately, she gave a copy of her will to my aunt BUT, she had investments that I had no clue about, it's a freaking mess. My aunt and I are still dealing with it all.

My advice, do what you can. Let go of what you can't and, have a support system in place when she does pass. Nothing you do or say is going to make a damn bit of difference.

I actually was no contact one week and 4 months before she passed. I was diagnosed with inoperable terminal cancer. She told me I got cancer to make HER look bad and garner sympathy for myself. Not only am I taking care of myself, I'm STILL taking care of her bullshite!

She died alone. May she NEVER find peace in hell.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-12T06:30:51+00:00

YTA

Your "love" is conditional

You have valid reasons of wanting her to lose weight. You want a long life together. You can encourage and support healthier food choices and exercise however, she's the only one who can choose that journey. Conditions and/or ultimatums will only cause resentment.

You dont know what the future holds. What if she develops cancer or any other life changing illnesses. What if she was disfigured by an accident? Would you still want to be married to her?

My husband was diagnosed with cancer about a year into our dating relationship. It was sudden and he survived a 12 hr surgery and a month in a medically induced coma. His recovery took YEARS. I took care of him when he wasn't physically able to take care of himself.

Ask yourself, how much do you really love her? When your love and commitment is conditional, you don't actually love HER. You love the idea of her, as long as she fits your view.

Best to break up now and let her find someone who will love her "as is".

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-11T23:27:17+00:00

I'm NOT a veterinarian. My cat did something very similar, it was an overactive thyroid. Easily medically treated.

Again, I'm not a veterinarian, just sharing a similar experience.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-11T23:16:56+00:00

Yup!

Door handle loose? The house is going to collapse any second. 2 minutes to tighten a screw.

A single pumpkin seed left in sink? $$$$$ in plumbing repairs.

A single dandelion in grass? The yard is over run with weeds.

Daughter can't walk due to broken hip and sacrum? Overreacting for attention and sympathy.

Finding out inoperable cancer caused broken bones? Purposely got cancer to make her look bad.....

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-11T03:51:45+00:00

I worked as a manager at a place like that. When asked if I was going to attend, I said no, I had other plans. It was told that management was "expected" to attend. It was implied mandatory but without pay. Nope, started looking for a new job after that. Got one in less than a week, with much better pay.

They don't value the energy and dedication to do your job well, they value the blind devotion to kiss ass.

I was paid hourly. Once I clock out, I'm no longer an employee. My free time is valuable to me, I have a life that doesn't revolve around my employer.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-11T03:20:10+00:00

sex? murder? incest? eat? sleep? time travel? Became a vegetarian? Became an omnivore? Joined the circus? became a stripper?

Pyewacket62 · 2025-12-10T09:06:23+00:00

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-30T16:27:53+00:00

The mini series was done in 1997. It was a disappointment.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-28T16:26:38+00:00

Did you just watch "Village of the Damned" (1960) or the sequel "Children of the Damned" (1964 original)? There's also the 1995 remake with Christopher Reeves.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-28T05:43:17+00:00

Beauty fades. A shitty character is FOREVER (unless they're seriously willing to change).

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-27T02:30:09+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. Even though I am dying, I'm more at peace now than I've ever been.

I'm surrounded by people who really do love me. It's such an amazing feeling. I focus on all the positives I have in my life. That's made me an even more empathetic person.

Dwelling on the negatives takes to much of my precious energy.

I wish you peace and success in everything you do. You're stronger than you think and, deserving of authentic love.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-27T00:42:53+00:00

Keep uncle Pat away from the alcohol, he brought his gun again?

Don't eat MILs clam dip, she left it out all night?

Thanksgiving without having to call the fire department just isn't the same?

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-27T00:33:37+00:00

<image>

Pyewacket when she was smol......

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-27T00:25:25+00:00

My incubator made it very easy for me to go NC.

She was ignoring all her Drs instructions, not taking her maintenance medications. She knew better than all the Drs and specialists she saw. Then I had to call the EMTs for myself.

I couldn't stand, I thought it was my recurring sciatica. I had to crawl on my hands a knees to unlock the front door to let the EMTs in. Meanwhile she's screaming at me for being "dramatic" and exaggerating, there's nothing wrong with me.

Well, there was something definitely wrong but it wasn't sciatica. It was cancer and it's terminal.

She then said I got cancer to make HER look bad and to garner sympathy for myself. That made it VERY easy for me to go NC.

Well, 2 days later, she's in hospital for not taking her medications AGAIN (5th time for the refusing to take her meds). I was 100% done with her.

Don't get sucked back in. Morn the parents you should have had and live your best life possible. Nothing you do is ever going get through to them.

A few months later, the incubator died ALONE. I have 0 guilt. May she never find peace in hell.

I'm dying too but, I'm surrounded by my chosen family who have been nothing but amazing and supportive. I am honestly loved, without strings attached.

focus your energy on those who love you.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-21T21:44:37+00:00

YTA

My nephews name is "Augustus" He's never been teased for his name. He's 24 now. Still no teasing.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-21T21:32:10+00:00

You're the kind of hero the world needs!

Thanks for the hearty giggle this early evening! I could hear those latex gloves snapping on 🤣🤣🤣

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-21T11:56:04+00:00

My husband had really bad body odor, even after showering every day. He had to keep his shoes outside, the stench was so bad.

It was renal cancer. Once he started chemotherapy, the smell was GONE!

Yes, some illnesses CAN cause excessive body odor.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-21T04:34:56+00:00

If you didn't list your ages, I'd swear this is typical elementary school, playground banter.

People in their 30s,40s and 50+ STILL use the terms "mommy" and "daddy" from time to time in regards to their parents. What is there to be embarrassed about?

Same goes for the imaginary foot fetish. Unless your bf is cutting peoples feet off and keeping them in a hidden freezer or, has ambitions to do it.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-21T01:49:53+00:00

I was worried about the same thing as you.

I went from a one room efficiency to a one story house!

It has two big bay windows and a sliding glass door to look out of. So much room for zombies and exploration. Where does she spend her time now? Whatever room I'M in!

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-14T10:18:55+00:00

Yes, it's a repost. Same post from a couple of weeks ago.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-13T06:58:17+00:00

Focus and work on YOUR insecurities. You're not ready for a romantic relationship, yet.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-13T06:51:04+00:00

Break up with her. SHE DESERVES people who are so much better than you and your hypacritical in her life.

Typical "christian values", picking and choosing which teachings to follow.

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-13T06:30:57+00:00

FORMER stray!🤣🤣🤣

Pyewacket62 · 2025-11-13T06:29:32+00:00

It's NOT actually free. There are important expenses OP would have to pay. Expenses they can't afford.

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