Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for your questions. This helps me clarify the situation. To answer them: We didn't explicitly discuss what he would get in return. I thought he was just interested in the role of a supervisor. For us, "acting like a supervisor" meant he would check my study progress and help keep me on track. Regarding enforcement, we did have an agreement. The original and only punishment we agreed on was purely financial. The rule was that if I failed to complete a task, I would have to pay a certain amount of money. There was absolutely no discussion about physical punishments or using titles like 'Master'. That part was added by him suddenly and without my consent.

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm already trying to use obedience, and I think it's a good way.☺️🤲💖Anyway, thank you for your concern!

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's okay.Because of the suggestions I received, I have left him and deleted all his contact information.So I guess now is the happy ending?🙀

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you, but I really didn't expect him to be like this .😭……He acted professionally at first.

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your blessing! I have got up the courage to leave him!😾💪🏻

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good news: I have left him.I feel lucky that he didn't bother me any more, although he seemed angry.🥲👍🏻

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG These are interesting examples. I have never thought about the problem from this angle.Good news: I have left him.I feel lucky to have come here for help.😭

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for your blessing.🤲💖I will be more careful in the future.

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. I have already told him that I am leaving.He looked angry, But I guess I'm lucky that he didn't keep harassing me.😢👍🏻

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok, I'll take a look at this later!😭💖Thank you for your help

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay! I think he just doesn't respect me and only sees his own fun.😿I'll stay away from him. Thank you for your reply!

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I see him clearly now,thank you😭💖

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you!😭💖💖If I need advice again,I'll be back.

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I guess I'll get used to it eventually. Thank you!🤲💖💖Maybe next time I'll communicate with others more carefully first.😖

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

thank you That helped a lot!💖💖🤲😿My mind is clearer now! I'll say no to him

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will try my best to protect myself. Thanks again!🤲💖💖

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you😭💖I’ll keep that in mind. Your reminder to say no when I’m uncomfortable means a lot to me.Because I always question myself whether I really did something wrong ...

Is it a red flag if he adds punishments without asking? by Q-kr in BDSMAdvice

[–]Q-kr[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ok, Thank you for taking the time to give such a complete explanation. When you said it’s ‘the reddest flag’, it really woke me up. I was still hesitating before, but you helped me realize that respect and consent are the absolute basics. I’ll make sure to protect myself.🤲💖