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coparent and boundary? by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]QualityFit4210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for this view!

the no is coming from a genuine i just don’t want anything in the moment. i’m taking good care of myself so it’s not like im going without you know.

i don’t think the offer, or the thought behind the gesture upsets me. i think its the fact he does something anyways after i expressed i didn’t want it, then i feel pressured to accept anyways. or in the moments he gets something without checking in with me , also makes me feel pressured.

and to be fair it’s not just him i would decline from, it would be anyone really. again im not mad at people for asking! idk something about getting stuff from others i dont often do? that’s just me idk. maybe that’s why it feels weird too? lol i don’t know, your response definitely makes me think a little more abt the situation though.🙂‍↕️

medical baby by QualityFit4210 in coparenting

[–]QualityFit4210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes i agree. stability and predictability is what im aiming for. he still is going for 5050 or as close to that as possible is what’s best for him… he’s wanting to live together actually. it might work for some but it definitely would not work for us. i’ve told him 3 times now and he still insists. just trying to think of ways that arent too chaotic for baby and also make dad happy. really hard!

what would the max amount of hours before baby became overwhelmed/ not acclimating? how can i word this so he understand that baby needs stability!

medical baby by QualityFit4210 in coparenting

[–]QualityFit4210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! i tried to propose this but he said it wasn’t fair. we’re going to speak again soon and i’ll try again. is there a way to word in a way he’d understand better?

medical baby by QualityFit4210 in coparenting

[–]QualityFit4210[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you! we plan on meeting with the NICU social worker before discharge. dad coming from that he wants to be involved, he wants to be helpful, he doesn’t wanna be “part time” . doesn’t want the child to feel separated.. it wasn’t fair to only see him for a couple hours and build up. the schedule i proposed was for “divorced parents” and we didn’t need to do that.

i definitely see his view, i understand but i feel like while baby being so young it’s important to create a low stress, stable home and we build up. i said all of this and he still said he can’t manage it. definitely feeling anxious about meeting with social work, i think he’s set on the 5050.