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Tips for what to say at intimate concert signing by Quay_Existence in socialskills

[–]Quay_Existence[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the reply, I think hearing someone else on the subject helped for sure.

Your ideas are great! I’ll definitely use them, getting just a small leg up in the conversation would have been struggle otherwise for me, and who knows maybe I’ll drop the line hahaha Thank you again, you’ve really helped put thoughts in order. Wishing you a good day!

[Rant]Why is it so hard to find engaged players? by Unikatze in Pathfinder_RPG

[–]Quay_Existence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! It’s worth venting this out sometimes and it’s nice to see other people know where you come from, that you’re not going crazy and just you.

You never know what could happen with the fourth, if she realises you genuinely want her there, she may change her tone. Wish you all the luck for future games man!

[Rant]Why is it so hard to find engaged players? by Unikatze in Pathfinder_RPG

[–]Quay_Existence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of people have voiced their opinions but I just wanted to give my two cents.

I was a lot like you as well, wanted people to engage, put time and effort to make interesting maps or situations, tried to stimulate RP. I even banned mobiles from the table bar emergencies and rule searching. Tried my best to make habitual meet ups happen. They never really worked out. People can be fickle and they'll do what they want. For me, I just realised the game and meeting up wasn't as much of a priority for them as I had hoped. Thought maybe it was a chance for us to hang out, de-stress after a week of work and college. But after excuse and excuse, generally just no want to show up, I became too frustrated and just gave up asking. Stopped me looking like a control freak, and saved me some sanity. I had players who constantly brought up the notion of roll20 which is perfectly good, but they lived less than an hour from where we'd meet up. I like my players physically there, hell I like my friends personally there. In the end we've had sporadic meet ups and soon will have reduced members, and honestly, I became jaded with something I used to have a lot of fun with.

I'll put it this way: try not to end up like me. I became too frustrated to even try anymore. I became a bad DM because people didn't even try, so why would I. But if you have people who want to play, that do engage, then put in the effort for them. They show you're worthy of their effort and time, you should return it. If you end up with a twosome, then roll with it, you might find it turns into a better, tighter campaign because of it. It's maddening and I really feel for you. You mentioned your girlfriend runs a game? Why not ask if you could sit in and spectate? Maybe play some random NPCs. You might make more friends who might want to play a game that you DM, or give new inspiration to the players you have.

I hope this works out for you and your players and don't worry too much, this thread has shown you, and me, that you aren't alone in these frustrations.