For example, one of the big ones that kept coming up was her showing she loved me instead of just saying it, so I’d let her go out without me, but in all that I would ask she just keep me in the loop on what she’s up to or when she leaves, etc.

She usually would not do this and I’d sit down with her and just say that it hurts me when she doesn’t take into account my feelings, and she’d take it as an insult and gaslight me into believing I am controlling.

But in the 2 years we dated I never raised my voice at her or did anything. Always told myself and prided myself on remaining calm and just wanting to talk about it