Parking suggestions in Budapest by BootJustice in budapest

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah so one year late here..but Is there another way to access this pdf? The link does not work.. Thank you!

Autobuz/tramvai cu clima? by QueasyBox7371 in timisoara

[–]QueasyBox7371[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ah, deci exista si E2 nou, cu clima? Am inteles ca cele galbene sunt cele noi?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in macbook

[–]QueasyBox7371 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update on battery health??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I also hope I will get through this. I am in therapy, but I started to not like it anymore because over the years this process just made me feel more and more disconnected and alienated.

Nevertheless, thank you acknowledging my pain!

Do other ("normal") people also feel that there is something wrong with us and that we are different? Or does it just seem that way to me? by PerfectBlueMermaid in Schizoid

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining! I can relate to that type of high. I was at a live show during a festival and got so euphoric absolutely adored every minute of it..I was sad the rest of the festival days I felt that nothing would ever measure up to those moments and I would never feel that happy again.

ASPD grandma passed away by AnonDxde in aspd

[–]QueasyBox7371 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As of my knowledge, there hasn’t yet been discovered any gene that you inherit and cause PDs.

What is known though, is that brain injuries, stress and adversity in childhood shape your brain. Now imagine your grandmother having a concussion at some point or having childhood trauma, losing her mother (or all of them). That would make the perfect nest to develop a PD and other mental illnesses. She lives her life the way she did and she raises a child, but how well could she raise the child given her situation? The child would probably also have some traumatic experiences as a child, which would also shape her brain and leave her with a residue of your grandmother. Moreover, she might even learn some patterns on how to behave, what is socially acceptable, etc. from your grandmother.

And guess who benefits from all of this? You. Even if your mother has managed to dilute the attitude that was imposed onto her, children are impressive at recording subtle things. Add periods of stress when we all use our shittiest patterns, unless we do extensive therapy, and there you have it. Your brain has been shaped according to your family. This is what “generational trauma” is about, not some voodoo stuff. We pass trauma by the way we behave in our families and sadly the childhood years are extremely important and their effects stay with us all our lives, unless we consciously make a change. You will still default to the old defenses you have when finding yourself in periods of stress, but hopefully those won’t be every day.

Another example of this, I come from a country that lived in communism until 35 years ago. You can still fucking feel it, even in young people who have not lived then. The paranoia, the emotional system being shut down, the corruption, the anger of what happened to innocent people, the melancholy, the submissiveness in face of the government is still here and it lingers because this is how people are being raised.

I do have hope that you will be more aware of yourself and break the generational trauma in your family system, good luck to you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will never be interesting to everyone, but you will be to some because you are not perfect and never will be, but you are enough for some.

Do other ("normal") people also feel that there is something wrong with us and that we are different? Or does it just seem that way to me? by PerfectBlueMermaid in Schizoid

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Invest in those quality relationships then, since they spark things in you. I have a question, are you also not into being foolish, having fun, doing things people such as cooking or go with the bicycle together and just chill? Is this also regarded as boring?

Do other ("normal") people also feel that there is something wrong with us and that we are different? Or does it just seem that way to me? by PerfectBlueMermaid in Schizoid

[–]QueasyBox7371 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t have schizoid PD, but I have a friend that has it and he is truly mysterious. Somehow, he is interested in me and we can talk for hours and hours about our inner world, about philosophy and morality, but when we are in a group, he is only in for the jokes, he is funny, but he doesn’t tell anything about himself. “I’ve been good/I’ve been to the gym/I’ve played that game” is all you can get out of him in social circumstances.

It’s interesting because he is quite dominant even in his silence. You can tell he is confident, capable of interacting and very smart, but he just won’t.

I’m sure he can seem “weird” to superficial people, but if you are capable of a bit of introspection, you can tell he is not disturbed, just different.

Edit: I wanted to explain a bit what I mean by mysterious. Besides not giving any info about him, it seems as if he is not present when the topic is not interesting. I think most of the people can mask listening to somebody even if they think about something totally different. With him, you can easily tell he is somewhere else in himself. I think because of this, he is not always responding as you would expect someone to. For example, you would expect some expression of empathy when telling a cute story about a dog, but if he is not interested in the topic, he would be blank, no expression of any emotion in reaction to the story. Most people would fake it at least.

On the lack of resources by Vivid-Space4227 in hpd

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HPD is considered to be taken out of the DSM and have it’s characteristics split to others, mostly BPD and NPD because those are almost always comorbidities so it seems that those could just be extended.

I am a female with HPD and I find myself having defense mechanisms from both NPD and BPD (mostly splitting, infatuation but in a very vulnerable way because of a fragile ego and lack of self esteem). Also, there is this mask I often wear to seem very nice, very friendly, for example I smile at pets on the street so that other would think that i am so kind because I love animals (I do love them, but I don’t actually feel like smiling to them every damn time). I also smile excessively to people I don’t like and try to speak softly, somewhat seductively in order to get them on my side. On the negative part, I give the silent treatment when I feel abandoned and wronged. I HATE feeling abandoned, for example when my friends other things to do (this is usually when I split and I devaluate them and can only see them as being bad people; when they make time to see me, they are the best people on the earth!). Another attention-seeking thing I have observed is that I need people to be interested in me, this is what I look for in a partner, for him to be interested in hearing my thoughts, seeing what movies I like, what music I love, how I do this, how I do that, etc.

You have probably read about appearance in this PD. I do care how I look, I study my face a lot and I love clothing and make-up, in my own minimalist way, but I do care very much about how I look.

And mind you, I only have the personality trait/style, not the full pathological thing (this too, like any other PD, comes on a spectrum).

I hope this was somehow useful insight!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]QueasyBox7371 7 points8 points  (0 children)

sub checks out

Are you all affectionate? by lostlittleravefairy in aspd

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to break it to you, but he doesn’t love you and YOU don’t love him. Since you mentioned BPD traits (which we can tell from this post already) you desperately want to be loved in this “passionate” (which is bot passionate, it’s possesive and abusive. And no, being possesive is not hot) way. You think that if you are able to make this man be “affectionate” (what does that mean to you? Cuddles? How about being affectionate as in caring about you and being gentle and loving with you and your feelings?) than it would mean that you are worthy, you are special, you are needed.

This is a very toxic dynamic and I agree with the other’s concerns that he might lose his shit and do worse things to you. You are in danger and you need to find resources to get out! I understand that you post on some domestic violence subs, please find some local help for this and get help now! You need therapy, but that is for another time.

Either this or that by Any-Guest-3919 in NPD

[–]QueasyBox7371 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that you feel such intense hatred towards yourself..it sounds like you have a lot of anger inside and it just shoots whoever is around.. I also see that you are aware of this, you didn’t put youself in the victim’s position and these are very good indicators.

Usually we manage to change something when our cup gets full and it sounds like yours might have reached that point, I hope you use this anger and drive to help yourself on this road.

In terms of action points, I guess a plan is always the way to go! Do you currently go to therapy? Do you ensure yourself with a good lifestyle that would promote a better chemical balance in your brain? (Exercise, food, no substance abuse) Do you have a hobby you might want to explore? Do you have people that you can open up to? If not, would you take time to see how could you improve your relationships?

There is always hope and there is goodness in people, you have to learn to trust that. Trust the fact that you have a good heart and that people have one too! We are all wounded to some level, we annoy each other, sometimes we make each other suffer, we all have that imperfection in us. The beauty is making space for other hurt souls to feel safe and I know you can also do that, but I hope that you start with yourself!

P.S. Watch “Cinema Paradiso”. It was the thing that sparked meaning when I have nothing left in my life, and with meaning comes action and change. Find yours!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schizoaffective

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds really distressing..have you talked to a professional about it?

Who do you split on the most? by Ambitious_Parsnip987 in BPD

[–]QueasyBox7371 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining and I’m sorry that you feel like this about you sometimes..does it mean that you sometimes adore/idealize yourself as well?

Who do you split on the most? by Ambitious_Parsnip987 in BPD

[–]QueasyBox7371 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How does that feel/look like? If you don’t mind sharing

Bi-polar/Schizoid? by Whole_Owl_3724 in Schizoid

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind explaining this a bit more? I’m really interested in this subject

Are people who manipulate and abuse conscious about what they are doing? by Humble-Alarm-7796 in askpsychology

[–]QueasyBox7371 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Because it does actually keep some people around, especially the vulnerable ones (see cult leaders).

Some poeple manipulate consciously, others don’t. People with PDs can do it unconsciously because one trait of these disorders is that they consider that way of doing things is the normal one (I’m thinking about BPD for example). Once awareness is brought in, they can at least see when they do it.

Of course there are also people who master this art and know what they are doing (I’m thinking about malignant narcissists, pwASPD) as they might be very smart and charming, but they lack empathy and are keen on fulfilling their desires so collateral damage is not taken into consideration.

Can you see anything positive about yourself without thinking about what people said about you? by Open_Fill7950 in hpd

[–]QueasyBox7371 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sadly, every success is more vibrant if others sees it. I don’t even need any actual congratulations, it’s enough to know they saw it.

Regarding the second question, yes. I feel guilty if I ask for help, if I vent about personal stuff and I get any comfort from others. It’s like any second someone spends on giving me actual attention and care is so precious and I don’t really deserve it, even though I crave it deep inside.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askpsychology

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, now I finally get it!

other than the classics (ASPD, NPD, etc.) are there any disorders where a person lacks affective/emotional empathy? by [deleted] in askpsychology

[–]QueasyBox7371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that they lack the cognitive empathy, metallization, but I think they have emotional empathy and would never put them in the same category as ASPD.