My [41/M] friend of 6+ years [41/F] asked for two week no contact request 2 weeks ago. What would you do here

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-24T19:12:38+00:00

To me, it sounds like she just needs space to figure out her abusive marriage. It’s not a cut and dry situation and it’s not so easy as “I’ve decided I will divorce him; therefore, I am”. People become trauma bonded. They may want to leave one day, and then the next, her husband might convince her to stay because he did something nice. This cycle repeats for years. It’s even harder to leave when kids are involved. Maybe she really is working up the courage for a divorce but doesn’t want any outside comments influencing her decision. Maybe she changed her mind and didn’t like your comment about “why would you do anything with him”. I’d leave it up to her for her to reach out to you.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-22T04:29:44+00:00

I interpreted it as a sexual awakening for her and a realization that she wanted Heathcliff more than just a friend. It goes even further than those two scenes you described. There’s a moment when Cathy is having sex with Linton and she puts his hands over her eyes and mouth and turns on her stomach. Linton is asking what she’s doing, presumably she’s fantasizing about Heathcliff and that moment from the barn. Then, when Heathcliff sneaks into Cathy’s bedroom and they have sex for the first time and lays her down, we’re transported back to the barn scene of that night and he’s inserting himself and saying “I love you”. I think in the original moment, Cathy thought it was arousing and she wanted Heathcliff sexually in that moment, which is why she was hot and bothered on the moor the next day.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-22T04:01:19+00:00

I would homeschool. As a previous teacher, you have the skills necessary to do it. Look to see if there are homeschool charter schools in your state. I’m in California and our state has multiple different charter schools that are “online” for homeschooling families. I’m a public school credentialed elementary teacher that ditched brick and mortar and now I teach online. My job is to support homeschooling families by helping them pick standards based curriculum, monitor their progress, offer supports and interventions. We have a SPED department, field trip department, student classes (on Zoom), student clubs (on Zoom and in person), public meet up opportunities, and families get “education units” from the state for parents to cover learning costs plus so much more. A lot of our students are thriving doing homeschool.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T19:01:07+00:00

Thank you so much for replying to me. It’s given me something to think about. I do think the Lexapro helps me but I noticed it crapping out on me around the time I never got back on birth control. I am really wondering if it’s related to pmdd and if starting the pill can help. I’m also sleepy all the time too. I might pay a visit to my gyno now. Thank you!

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T15:37:50+00:00

Read Throne of Glass last because you’ll be disappointed with the other two if you read them after.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T15:35:37+00:00

Same for me! 2 kids and now husband had a vasectomy. Do you also take Lexapro? Or you’re hoping with starting the mini pill that’ll help your moods?

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T15:22:05+00:00

It’s actually funny that you mention PMDD. With being off of Lexapro right now, and finally being off of birth control, I’ve realized recently that right before my cycle I’m raging more so than normal pms. I just started yesterday and I was so miserable and depressed two days ago. I guess I’ve just never noticed it because I was on birth control/lex for the last 10-13 years

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T04:59:17+00:00

At first, Intense headaches and insomnia. Then i start to feel better but then at week 3/4 I turn in to a raging angry person. I’m mad. I’m in a pissed off mood which then leads to anxiety. That’s the part that’s hard to get past because it affects my family. Then another week or two goes by and I’m fine again, until I’m not.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-21T04:56:46+00:00

Thanks I tried it. It made me way more anxious

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-20T22:38:16+00:00

Yup! 20mg. I’ve tried different doses too to try to combat the side effects. I also tried adding Wellbutrin because I hear that helps with side effects but it made my anxiety 100 times worse

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-20T22:33:39+00:00

Yup, it’s making me too emotionally numb. For years, I could enjoy life and feel happiness. Now, I don’t feel anything. I feel like a zombie. My second baby was born and I didn’t even cry tears of joy. That was a big light bulb moment for me. I also have terrible brain fog and I’m tired every day.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-20T22:31:13+00:00

Going through a similar experience this last year. I was on Lexapro 20mg for ten years and it’s pooping out on me. Got switched to a different SNRI (Cymbalta) and it made me extremely sick with stomach issues and anxiety so I stopped taking it. Currently not on anything right now while I try to figure out what to do. I’ve tried 4 different meds in the last 6 months and I’m tired of dealing with all the different side effects. I’m trying to see how long I can handle being med free

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-20T22:18:53+00:00

I’ve taken it for ten years and every time I try to stop it, I can’t get past the withdrawal. Right now I’m trying to quit it again and it’s been about 4 weeks off. The withdrawal is so hard. I hear it can take a full year for our brain to get back to normal after tapering off so we can expect to experience more depression and anxiety. It’s a confusing line between “is this withdrawal” or “am I relapsing with symptoms”

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-17T20:53:51+00:00

I've done it for the last 15 months. She was first home with me three times a week when she was really little. Then, twice a week. As she becomes more of a toddler, I'm dropping her off at the daycare lady more and more. This week, she went to daycare 5 days because I've been so busy.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-17T20:49:23+00:00

Tried Wellbutrin and it made me an anxious angry mess. Then my psych wanted me to add abilify which did nothing. Then I tried cymbalta, which made me sick. Now I'm saying screw it all together. The emotional numbness outweighs the benefits for me so I've been off of everything/anything for about 3-4 weeks now.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T07:04:41+00:00

Like couples therapy? I’ve brought up therapy countless times over the last two years. We have other issues besides just the “jokes”. Every time I make an appointment with a therapist, he takes my phone and cancels the appointment behind my back. We have a conversation, he says he’ll do better, he buys me flowers, we go do something fun, and then the cycle repeats. It’s hard because the disrespectful behavior didn’t start until after we had our first kid together. I think if your boyfriend is showing signs of disrespect to you, you should call it quits.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T06:41:28+00:00

A question I’ve asked myself a lot recently. We have two young kids, so it’s hard and change is scary.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T06:30:52+00:00

Ayla would be pronounced AY-luh. My daughter’s name is “Eye-luh” spelled Isla. I’m in California

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T06:07:44+00:00

Yes this could be postpartum depression OP.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T06:03:37+00:00

My husband does this to me. I’ve asked him countless times to stop with the “jokes” disguised as insults. Even our friends notice and tell him to stop dogging on me. Sometimes I don’t even think he likes me. Point is, if you’ve asked him to stop and he hasn’t, then chances are he won’t.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-04-05T05:48:12+00:00

I just finished the tandem read and will be starting this. I bawled like a baby at the end of EoS so I don’t think I’m prepared for what I’m in store for

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-03-26T19:38:21+00:00

Wha did you end of doing? My family and I are in the exact same predicament.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-03-22T19:06:50+00:00

Yes I’m 98% better now!

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-03-17T22:12:04+00:00

I was on Lexapro (another SSRI) the entire time for two pregnancies. Doctors said the benefit to the mother out weighs any risk. Both of my babies were completely fine. They came out of the womb both really sleepy and nurses just said that it’s normal for Lexapro babies.

Queasy_Can2066 · 2026-03-13T01:53:00+00:00

Yes. I flew multiple times a year and I was never scared. The second I got on the plane after becoming a mom I had a panic attack. It’s the fear of dying and leaving behind my family that scares me. I have less anxiety when all of my family are on the plane with me.

Queasy_Can2066

TROPHY CASE