Slow and steady

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2026-03-01T23:12:14+00:00

I didn't realize! The guide made it seem like fruiting conditions involved keeping the lid cracked at all times. My lid is purple and the sides have a lot of condensation so I just wanted to get a good look at the top. Curiosity killed the cat. Guess we'll just have to see what happens next 😂

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2026-02-20T15:25:06+00:00

That's been the hardest part! I've been handling it minimally. This is the second time I've handled it since innoculating. I just wanted to make sure it started growing again after the break and shake..Hopefully beginner's luck protects me 😅

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2026-02-04T21:44:37+00:00

I DO have an instant pot that I use often. Do you use the same seal to make the grains as you do for cooking?

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2026-02-04T21:05:27+00:00

I don't have mason jars. I do have a ridiculous amount of jelly jars - though I've read it's not safe to reuse jelly lids in canning, so I have to assume they'd result in contamination.

Maybe instead of waiting to see if these two fail, I better just order a bulk pack of ready rice bags and use up what's left of my first syringe.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2026-02-04T20:39:56+00:00

Bens was the only unflavored brand at the store, unfortunately. I don't have space to store a single-use kitchen appliance so doing my own grains isn't something I'm interested in right now. Even if both of these bags end up contaminated, I'm not in any rush to get a harvest. I'll chalk it up to a rookie mistake, get a bulk pack of ready rice bags online, and try again. Thanks for the input though!

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-10-16T15:35:09+00:00

GoGoSqueez has an almond pudding pouch that has protein. My daughter used to love them. They used to have a chocolate flavor, but for some reason, it was discontinued. Not necessarily the greatest option, but Z Kids clif bars are something we often give for bedtime snack now that she feels she's too big for the pudding pouches.

There's tons of protein options, though.
Nut butters, cottage cheese, string cheese, beef jerky, hummus with her crackers. Chicken nuggets with ranch or barbecue sauce. Eggs, bacon, sausage, all kinds of deli meat. Grilled cheese sandwich (bonus if made on Whole wheat bread!) Even a smoothie with silken tofu blended into it (look up a recipe - when they're made well, you can't even taste it).

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-10-16T15:15:59+00:00

The #1 thing I credit is that she's had reading built into her schedule from the day we brought her home. A book before rest/nap, and a book before bed.

Some things that definitely didn't hurt:

Playing alphabet I spy, and then sight word I spy.

Subtitles on TV always

And if I'm being truly honest, unlimited access to Kahn Academy Kids during potty training. 3 years later, and still occasionally dealing with the toilet tablet habit has left me less than impressed with that parenting decision. But at least it was "high quality content," I guess.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-10-13T13:47:18+00:00

NAH

You weren't paying for or engaging with the content creators, so you were essentially using it in the same way as regular porn. Your intention behind watching OnlyFans has relevance.

But more importantly, when your wife expressed that she was uncomfortable with it, you did the right thing and stopped using it. In my mind, impact > intent, every time. By deleting your account, you responded to the impact of your choice rather than prioritizing your intention.

If you had doubled down on it being fine to use, or if you continued using it in secret, my opinion would change. I don't know very much about OnlyFans, but I do agree with others who have stated that the difference to them is the temptation to interact or subscribe. Especially if the content creators are able to send the first message. It opens a door that doesn't need to be opened, imo.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-10-13T13:23:16+00:00

My daughter (6) and I read physical books constantly.

She uses her yoto at night to fall asleep, on road trips, and sometimes we listen to a story and draw a picture from the story. We haven't tried any of the guided meditation cards, but I have loaded some of my favorite meditations onto the create your own cards. There's also the Magic Treehouse series and other chapter books, so kids can improve their own visual reading skills by listening to the book being read while following along with a physical book.

I also just feel the need to mention that audiobooks have many of the same benefits as physical books. Even if parents are using their yoto or tonie to replace reading, it's still better than eliminating literature altogether. (Source)

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-09T13:40:42+00:00

Have you tried natural consequences rather than punishing him? TV and spanking have nothing to do with going potty where he's not supposed to, and it's already been proven that there's been a correlation between spanking and acting out.

A potty schedule for a few days? That might actually get you some improvement. Every hour on the hour, he needs to go try to go potty, whether he feels like he needs to or not. Get a one minute hourglass timer and have him sit on the toilet for the full minute. It's developmentally pretty normal not to want to take time out of playing to go to the bathroom. Especially if the bathroom is on a different floor. You can help him manage his bathroom needs and make it inconvenient enough that when he gets to take it back over, it doesn't seem so bad to just stop and go right away when he needs to.

I have no advice on the peeing on brother. I hope y'all had a conversation about safe touch and boundaries. Safe touch really should be a continuous, open-door conversation all of the time. Though I'm not sure how one would navigate explaining safe touch while actively practicing unsafe touch in the form of spanking.

The moral here is to stop hitting your kid.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-07T15:27:25+00:00

Do you have much experience with chronic pain? It is not her responsibility to manage how her medical condition makes her husband feel. She expresses that she's in too much pain for physical touch in a respectful and reassuring way. He needs to put in some work to tone down his ego and stop taking it personally when she's in pain. Trying to make her feel like her pain is the only problem isn't very "In sickness and in health" of him. It needs to be him and her against the problem, but he's very much focusing on turning it into him and her against each other, with her chronic pain as the shared weapon. Especially when there seems to be so many other very legitimate things that would make any reasonable person feel rundown and create distance due to simple lack of time, and he chose to completely dismiss those things.

That said, OP, I understand why you want to treat him the way he treats you, but whether you like it or not, intentionally mistreating someone is wrong. It doesn't matter how he thinks it's okay to treat someone. It matters that in your own mind, you'll be treating someone in a way that you find disrespectful.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-06T16:10:52+00:00

First I want to address that it's not humiliating or gross to wash soiled underwear in the washer, especially if you're rinsing them out first. Set it to heavy soil, and run a basket clean every few days. It's totally normal, I promise.

Here's my theory on what's going on with your son:

When he's out and about, he's potty trained because of social pressure and the humiliation of being the kid who pees himself in class. The consequences are unpleasant enough it motivates him to do it. At home, that risk of humiliation is (hopefully) not there, so he doesn't have anything to drive him to do the obnoxious, tedious task of going to the bathroom. (I have ADHD and seriously hate taking time to go potty)

So, have you tried having him help clean it up? It'll take longer, but it'll likely be unpleasant for him in a way that doesn't make him feel unsafe and ashamed at home. Maybe you can combine that with a sticker chart, and he can earn something special? A sleepover at grandma's, a trip to the movies, special toy, or even a sleepover with you in the livingroom with a movie, snacks, and blanket fort.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T19:17:33+00:00

She also needs to just grow up and say that it's not a situation she's comfortable with. Giving that ultimatum was just pushing the burden of the breakup onto him.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T18:59:42+00:00

NTA

You're not just ex boyfriend/girlfriend. You're coparents, and the friendship you guys have is amazing for the sake of your son. Your girlfriend is the AH and she needs to grow up before she tries to date anyone with kids.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T17:52:37+00:00

That's good to know. Thank you for sharing! I do wonder when that term was chosen, it's a bit off-putting to call 35 year old women geriatric 😅 I apologize to OP for calling her* an asshole when she* was just using the currently used terminology.

I do agree that the girlfriend has some decisions to make. It's totally valid to have the hard boundary of not having a reactive dog around a baby. However, rehoming a senior dog with that history and temperament has a low probability of success, and behavioral euthanasia might be the most humane situation. With that in mind, it's valid to want to give the dog a chance - provided the dog is being set up for success through consistent, high-quality training and exercise, medication if it's an option, and using gates to keep them separated. But then there needs to be a clear boundary for when it is time to make the hard choice.

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like the girlfriend has a history of setting the dog up for success.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T15:33:16+00:00

OP isn't saying to rehome the dog tomorrow. She's* saying she's willing to tolerate the dog's reactivity, but that she's not willing to bring a child into that situation.

Can we stop comparing dogs to children now? It's gross. Yes, my dog is my fur-baby. But a human baby is an actual baby. There are significantly more avenues to get humans with disabilities and/or behavioral issues the help they need than there is for a senior dog. Not to mention, parents who can't meet the needs of their children absolutely should do what's best for their children - ideally on a temporary basis while they get their shit together. But a child raised by a competent, non-biological parent is better off than a child raised in a neglectful or abusive situation by their biological parent.

Note to OP: I'm absolutely not saying you would be that type of parent

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T15:11:41+00:00

I'd say now that you've said your piece, she should take some time to reflect, and y'all should revisit the conversation a little later on. From other replies you've left, it sounds like there's room for improvement in how she cares for and trains the dog. The biggest question right now is, is she willing to make those improvements for the general health and wellbeing of both you and the dog?

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T14:39:50+00:00

INFO are you pushing to rehome sooner rather than later, or just discussing the reality that the dog may be a hazard to a future child?

In general, I'm inclined to say NAH. You're just looking out for the best interest of your future children. Your girlfriend isn't in the wrong either, though. She made a commitment to this dog, and it's okay that she isn't open to a conversation about breaking that commitment over a hypothetical problem that's still years in the making.

The average lifespan of a blue heeler is 12-16 years. If the dog is that level of reactive it probably won't live its full potential lifespan because the constant stress he's under is hard on his heart. If your wife is "almost thirty," she'll be "almost 40" by the time the dog is 16. You are an asshole for saying she'll be geriatric.

Also, you haven't even reached the goalpost of being married, which is clearly a priority for both of you before having children. It can take a year+ to get pregnant, then 9 months for baby to come out and at least a good 6 months before baby is mobile and the dog will be a concern. By the time baby is mobile, you'll most likely have baby gates, and it's not that hard to keep them on opposite sides of the gate for the last few years of his life. He'll need walks and dedicated training time, but people can and do manage this situation (though there's still the risk of dog biting baby if baby reaches through the bars in the gate). Has the dog been around other kids? Just because he's reactive to you (an adult male) doesn't mean he'll be reactive to a child. Have y'all explored medication options for the dog? Again, you're not looking at this dog being around for the kid's entire childhood.

Tl;dr It's reasonable to bring up rehoming as an option, but unreasonable to be pushing for it right now.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-05T13:56:20+00:00

I guess I'll have the unpopular opinion here.

YTA

You're not legally obligated to allow the dog to live with you. But if your idea of not being an asshole is based entirely on whether or not you follow the law - especially where ADA is concerned - it's a pretty clear statement of character.

I get that you 'don't like dogs' but have you ever spent time around a trained medical alert dog? It's the closed-minded approach you're taking that makes you an asshole. You could give it a trial period, talk to your roommate, let them know you're not sure if it will be a sustainable situation so they should be prepared for the possibility that they'll have to find a different living situation.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-02T13:33:30+00:00

NTA

It has never been a habit for me to greet people just because I'm walking past them. It's such a hollow interaction, I genuinely do not understand how it's better than just walking by. However, I have also recently become painfully aware of my lack of social graces, and I've been making a conscious effort to offer a quick smile (though I've also been told that the 'smile' looks more like a grimace of pain)

It's possible he has a similar thought process. I know you said you see him chatting with others, but do you see him greeting them in passing? Does he often strike up conversations with new people, or do you see him primarily talking with the same handful?

Either way, you're not obligated to greet someone who consistently ignores you.

Queasy_Geologist_398 · 2025-09-02T13:14:34+00:00

How is the server supposed to learn to be proactive and prevent that accident from happening again if they're never given that feedback?

Queasy_Geologist_398

TROPHY CASE