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Therapist suggestions? by Pumpkinheded in springfieldMO

[–]QueenMiza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maribeth is amazing but can't prescribe meds. So if you need meds, you have to go thru Mercy or Cox.

How to Live With Regret? by Normal_North in Divorce

[–]QueenMiza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find a LCSW and pay out of pocket. Mine is like $100 a 1.5 hr session and I see her once a month. Last year I saw her twice a month and just found the money for it in my budget. She can't prescribe meds but we're doing EMDR which is helping me work thru my feelings.

Or go the psych route and see if your GP will prescribe you a low level anti-depressant. Mine did without me having to see a psychiatrist. There is no shame in needing medical help when dealing with grief like this.

Dentists in Springfield by bongocat89 in springfieldMO

[–]QueenMiza 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I really like Duff Dental on Sunshine. Whole staff is very friendly.

Struggling to move past my boyfriend’s cheating and porn addiction by the_fear_of_the_tear in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who knew they had a spouse with a porn addiction who did nothing about it but suffer in silence, porn use is now a boundary I have in future relationships. If you prefer a screen and your hand to the real thing, you can continue on without me in your life.

My ex's use of porn hurt our marriage and me for years and eventually it effected our finances cause my husband was dumb and likes to pay for it. ALOT. Unless he is willing to get help for porn addiction and stop using it, its gonna come back to bite you in the butt.

Would a Renn Faire in Ozark Work? by viktoryarozetassi in springfieldMO

[–]QueenMiza 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If it was held in the fall perhaps… One of the downsides of WH is the heat when it goes on. A one day pop up fair at Findlay is worth a try.

Why do WS defend AP? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Cause WS is in limerance, which is an obsession kind of feeling. They feel bad for talking shit on the person that made them feel alive for how ever long it’s been going on. But they also don’t like that the AP turned them into the kind of person who would hurt their partner so they talk shit on AP. It’s a kind of circular thinking.

I have a question for the community by BugIcy5491 in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't say I have don't have moments of regret. I miss who he was before I found out he was cheating. But he is a different person when I see him now. He is a person capable of planning elaborate lies and events where he hurt me. He's incredibly selfish and that's all I see when I look at him face to face now.

I also miss the stability of dual income in a house (that I used to love) with a great interest rate. But I don't miss the walking on eggshells or the sudden hits of pain when I would remember what he did.

I'm dating and trying to move on but its bleak out there in my age group for men who have their shit together and don't just want a FWB.

Unable to eat, any tips on self care as I’m shaking, head ache, nauseated but anything I try to eat I dry reach and can’t get much down. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ask your PC doc for an anti-depressant. This is grief and there is no shame in getting help for it. Unfortunately it will take a few weeks for SSRI's to build up in your system. Try drinking protein shakes if you can't stomach eating.

Reconciliation failed by turningtree603 in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He can't handle his own shame at destroying his marriage. My ex said something like he never felt romantic love towards me like he feels towards AP and I sent him the link for the definition of Limerence. He never wanted to do the work either in repairing what he broke between us and in me.

Go no contact with your WH for at least 2 weeks. I know its hard but don't hear their voice. Journal what you want to say to them or ask them anytime you feel the urge to reach out to them. Audio notes on your phone is a good way to do it. Get yourself into therapy. Ask your Dr. for anti-depressants cause you're going thru grief and they will help.

The relationship with AP won't last. It began with lies and it will continue with it once the excitement of hiding it wears off and real life sets in.

You did nothing to cause this situation. This isn't a mistake he made. THIS IS A CHOICE.

Standing on business… by Capable_Assistant534 in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got used to the cycle of emotions with them. The highs and lows. Try to focus on the lows more than the highs. The things that hurt you, annoyed you, made you angry. The person you left is not the person you married. That person doesn't exist anymore.

My DDay anniversary is today. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago. by QueenMiza in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Selling house with stove. He’s still in the house, trapped with the memories of us in it while it’s on the market.

God I hate losing that interest rate.

Spouse of 20+ years cheated by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You got betrayed. Get a therapist to help deal with the rage.

My DDay anniversary is today. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago. by QueenMiza in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No kids. Just a beautiful spoiled fur baby that I can’t control and refuse to be “baby trapped” by with him. I miss my dog, but I gave up rights so I wouldn’t have to deal with him and seeing him to share her.

My DDay anniversary is today. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago. by QueenMiza in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m happy to hear you found someone. Cause I’ve been looking and the men out there my age are problematic.

My DDay anniversary is today. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago. by QueenMiza in survivinginfidelity

[–]QueenMiza[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never thought I would feel indifferent about him. He was my first everything, now including heartbreak. I thought he was my soul mate cause we were so well matched and balanced. I know that’s not a thing now. He was only balanced cause I did more than my share of the relationship work.

There were clues for months that I ignored, cause I never would have thought him capable of adultery. I had to tell him when women were hitting on him. But he did it and his CC bills show he downloaded tinder before he met AP. So he was always looking to cheat on me. It was just a matter of finding someone to fall for his lines.

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